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An estimated 1-minute read

Bar Exams: The most RIDICULOUS way to go backward

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My honourable colleague Mr. Dushyant Arora wants feedback on the ways to conduct the Bar Exam. Here is mine:

1.)    Law students who come on bicycles and scooters will only be tested. Students who come in cars have the option of not taking the exam. It can safely be assumed that the students have enough money to succeed in this profession.

2.)    The students should take the exam in a small room, stuffy and with the air conditioner facing the examiner. The fans, very few in numbers, should work slow, such that no air really flows. This is to judge the student’s ability to think in real life circumstances.

3.)    The paper should be type-written and hard to read. The clarity of a computer printout should be clearly missing from the question paper. True conditions of our courts and judicial system should be amply mimicked.

4.)    For the same reason, fair beautiful people of the fairer sex will be given 30 minutes extra to complete the exam.

5.)    The exam should ideally be held in May-June. Neva Thermo Vests will be the sponsors for the test. Black coats and black pants will be the dress code for the exam. If the examination sheet of a student is wet with sweat, that student will be selected without counting his scores. Sweat, after all is what all lawyers swear by.

6.)    Grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and errors of sentence construction will be overlooked. We don’t expect our lawyers to be well versed in English.

7.)    Answers having some words and sentences written in local languages will be more marks worthy. We expect to the students to know how Indian courts respect languages.

8.)    If students in an examination center go on a strike; all the students of such a center automatically get qualified for the bar as it can be said that they have amply demonstrated the ethos of the bar at an early age.

9.)    Winners of any fights, physical or otherwise get automatically selected; losers are ousted.

10.) In case, the administrators of the bar exam face a lack of invigilators, students of National Law Schools will be asked to render their services.

 

Tagged in: bar exam humour
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