Experts & Views
Anatomy of Litigation 101: Featured
I am seriously considering a career change. Not to worry, I’m not writing a book and this is not a decision made on a mere whim. The idea dawned on me today while speaking on the phone to my cousin who is a real live practitioner of dark legal arts in Indian trial courts and High Courts. He sold me the idea really.
As an interesting aside, my cousin’s side of the family had to change their last name for numerological reasons.
Excerpts from our conversation wherein my cousin is extolling the virtues of a career in litigation:
“In law firms, you can’t quite experience the unique and delightful smell of the trial courts. Once you’ve smelled that, it calls out to you wherever you may go.”
“It’s like mooting in real life, with sillier party names.”
“People have great respect for those wearing black gowns, especially in summer.”
“Patience is a virtue. Litigation will teach you exactly what that means.”
“Your physical fitness shall improve while running from one court room to the other.”
“Even your boxing, ducking and weaving skills will improve during our fun-filled boycotts.” (Further to the above)
“When you litigate, you can perfect what you started as a trainee solicitor- looking intelligent without a clue of what’s going on.”
“By your 55th birthday, you will have enough money to launder your jock-strap in London every week.”
“You can always pass your briefs to juniors. Sometimes even seniors will take them without hesitation.” (Further to the above?)
“You make many lifelong friends along the way- the clerk, the juice wallah, the photocopy guy and so forth.”
“Court food is delicious, wholesome and all claims made re: food poisoning are patently false.”
“Even a slight British accent will ensure that you are designated a Senior Advocate at some point”.
“No, my daddy will not give you a car. I am his son.”
“Facial hair is tolerated in courts and even encouraged. In this matter, the system offers equal opportunity to both sexes.”
I walk into the office determined to let boss know of my decision and inform him how he cannot do a thing to change my mind. On my way up, I bump into Katie, the graduate recruitment officer. She smiles that perfect smile and flutters her eyelashes. Simultaneously.
I suppose remaining at Colby, Hewitt and Richards LLP for a little while longer can harm no one. What’s all this fuss about litigators anyway?
(Further reading: :http://www.legallyindia.com/746-comfortably-numb)