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An estimated 2-minute read

Legally Bindia: Your Legal Horoscope, June 2 2010 By Bejan Daruwala’s Lawyer

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Please know your animals well. Or atleast read them well.

Aries- The Ram (Mar 21- Apr 19)

The Ram will shed off its big and pricey horns and selling the horns will make way for a great deal. Hire a lawyer for the deal, probably a Sybmiosis graduate, as they have the horniest people there.

Taurus- The Bull (Apr 20- May 20)

Do not add to your office space or try to show off with some crapy news on LegallyBindia.com. A big bull into will crash your office. A bull run at the market and other such bullshit things will continue to happen.

Gemini- The Twins (May 21- June 21)

You have a twin brother or sister aspiring to be a lawyer. Why in the hell haven’t you stopped him yet? You need to do it soon before planets start doing their stuff.

Cancer- The Crab (June 22- July 22)

You have a corporate client suffering from cancer and he’ll die soon, with your bills unpaid. Don’t worry. Seriously, how many of your clients have paid you without disturbing your sleep?

Leo- The Lion (July 23- Aug 22)

You will feel like the king of the jungle this week. You will amass some really kickass deals for your firm. Your little cub at Harvard will start with sex. Aye! That little prince. He will take your firm to new heights. Who else will? Specially when you hire just your family?

Virgo- The Virgin (Aug 23- Sep 22)

A Leo is virgin’s best friend since these guys are on a sex spree. Otherwise with 377 being declared illegal, you have all the more reasons too come out of your sun sign ethos and truly express yourself.

Libra- The Scales (Sep 23- Oct 23)

You will measure and balance everything this week. If you are a CLAT aspirant stuck between NLIU and NLU, Jodhpur, the measuring and balancing will be longer. But thats not for this week. This will go on for ages.

Scorpio- The Scorpion (Oct 23- Nov 21)

 Since ‘scorpio-the scorpion’ is an alliteration, poets won’t do too well in business. Doesn’t make sense? Well, that’s how stars function. LegalPoet’s reputation will take a hit too. Poor guy. He thought he’ll win.

Sagittarius- The Archer (Nov 22- Dec 21)

If you are aiming for something, aim for NLSIU. Other aims are muddled with confusion. NALSAR v. NUJS, NLIU v. NLUJ, GNLU v. HNLU etc. If you are from these colleges, read a mantra, take out your most dramatic arrow (ever seen Mahabharta?) and aim anonymously at one another.

Capricorn- The Goat (Dec 22- Jan 19)

You will climb great mountains and traverse great crevices with ease. Afterall, thats what goats do. However, you won’t still get a job. Legal job market is tougher than climbing and hip-hopping beta.

Aquarius- The Water Bearer (Jan 20- Feb 19)

With your wife divorcing you in an adversorial litigation, you won’t find any water to drink. Dude, she has taken the keys to the fridge, cut the water pipes and what not. Her lawyer advised this all. You’ll do well to hire a better lawyer next time, for other such practical strategies.

Pisces- The Fish (Feb 19- March 20)

You will continue to swim through the thick and thin, largely thin, mind you. If you are an associate, larger fish will be a pain the neck, as always. If your the partner, the smaller fish with bother you, as usual.  

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