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I just saw this on a corporate lawyer's Facebook page and thought it'd be fun to share here, with permission. Do please share your corporate law war stories in the comments.

8 years a lawyer by Anonymous

1. An administrator over a call kept saying “in due course” repeatedly and my mentee* worriedly asked “what she’s going on about intercourse for”

2. *Lawyers make up horrible words. Like mentee and secret santee. I'm sure a lawyer invented 'prepone'.

3. Some lawyers talk exactly the way they would draft a formal email or agreement. For example, if you’re out having a drink he would say ‘kindly expedite the order’ to the bartender.

4. Many feel that an email is incomplete without reference to ‘revert back’ or ‘revert’. I do not correct them because then I will have to stand corrected that it’s not pronounced ‘bail puri’ and that Car Station is not after Banruh Station.

5. Lawyers without creativity can’t survive for long. Timeslips will make sure of that.

6. When reviewing documents, someone came across a most south Indian looking male employee whose name was ‘Suzie Won Dong’. There was a serious discussion on whether the DD report should highlight this as an issue.

7. There is a Supreme Court ruling that it is illegal to penetrate a bull’s nose. That is one brazen (amongst other things) defendant.

8. Once while in New York feeling all too important at a breakfast meeting, I subtly tried to reach for some biscuits on the table. As my fingers slipped right through them, I realize it was some fancy butter and not at all the biscuits I imagined them to be. I would have been better off if I had shouted “bearer, some idli-vada please”.

9. Many women lawyers are attracted to bald men (not balding – those are too common. Fully bald). ‘Oh no, this is how he looks? I thought he’ll be bald and hot’. Or ‘Hey, I have some goss – I have a hot bald client.’

10. Anything will pass for goss.

11. The men have all the goss. They no longer even pretend to be disinterested.

12. One lawyer who repeatedly got into trouble for not shaving gave it one last shot with “A robber broke into my house and stole my shaving cream”. Though all men complain about having to shave on the grounds that if women are allowed to get away with this, so should they.

13. Many have read Game of Thrones in PDF format at work.

14. Some lawyers lose their hair Reading randomly Capitalized words in Agreements Or the absence of punctuation

15. Many still say they went to ‘law school’ when you ask them where they studied or volunteer this piece of information in every conversation. Myself – laa kalij and proud of it.

Photo by US Army

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