It hurts, it really really hurts (like getting your ass pinched by a professional wrestler in the Delhi metro) to look back and see how the sweet innocent language that I spoke in law school has taken devilish meanings after I started working. My job (I feel) had the same effect on my language as watching Japanese hentai – complete bastardisation of the tongue and mind.
Here are some examples for you:
| Word | Then (In law school) | Now (at the job) |
|---|---|---|
| Deal | “Ok, pakka deal hai, this Saturday Old Monk rum and coke at Pecos.” | “Popat, has the deal fallen through or are they still re-negotiating the commercials?” |
| Bandwidth | “Oh ho, these college people, cant they get a ISP with good bandwidth?” | “Hey Popat, if you have some bandwith can you find some Supreme Court Judgement on…” |
| Project | “Did you submit your Constitutional Law project on time?” | “When do you go for the diligence to Mumbai for Project Marimba?” |
| Closing | “Oye Popat, run and come fast, the hostel doors are closing” | “Popat, make sure all the CP’s have been adhered to prior to closing.” |
| Pitch | “Popat, pitch the ball short. We 3rdyear guys have to win this match.” | “Popat, we are *pitch*ing in for the deal on derivatives, please ensure that you are well read.” |
| Party | “Yahoo!, exams over, party time.” | “…VIP Macho and Lux Cozy are hereinafter individually referred to as the “Party” and collectively as the…” |
| Best Friend | “Billoo is turning out to be my best friend. We even share our undies these days” | “Kian, believe me Bombay High Court judgment has nothing to do with ‘best friend’ relationships.” |
| Black-berry | “Popat, he hit you right where it hurts the most, look your Berries have turned Black!” | “Damn Blackberry keeps ringing off the hook, God, help me out of this flurry of e-mails” |
Agree? Disagree? If you know any other similar words, write ‘em here.
[p.s. the (nerdy) purists don’t get mad at this post, smile a little and you may do some good to yourself!]
Squawk Squawk
LegalPopat!
Comments
Jai Ho!
@ Popat - what can I say boss .. hats off ... every word had me nodding. It would be great to bump into u sometime at some pub ... shaken or stirred, ur liveliness would make things rock :)
@sagnik - I am truly flattered.
@ #4 - What makes you think I am a "guy"? sexist is it?! :-)
@ Gosh - I am truly lost and have nothing better to do. Request your kind guidance. Make me a part of your greatness:-)
Squawk Squawk
legalpopat!
Though not in Popat's class and far below the standards set by him ... some more for the likes of us (@ Gosh ... I am scared of you, in case you find time to read it and comment again)
FACILITY
Then (In law school) - The X lounge has good facilities
Now (at the job) - Did you mark-up the facility agreement?
VISIBILITY
Then (In law school) - The damned fog yaar; v.low visibility
Now (at the job) - I told the client that I don’t have visibility on that issue yet
COMMERCIAL
Then (In law school) – Those Dew v. Sprite commercials … damn good yaar
Now (at the job) - Please keep the commercials (of the deal) in mind.
MATCH
Then (In law school) - Lets go watch the match / Yaar, match de dey … aur sutta bhi :P
Now (at the job) - Match these two docs … run a deltaview quickly
RED LINE
Then (In law school) - Do not cross that red line
Now (at the job) - Have u reviewed the red-line version sent by …
SCHEDULE
Then (In law school) - The end-term schedule is chilled yaar
Now (at the job) - Review Schedule 2 of the contract asap.
(@ Kian - Table format doesn't work on the comments Kian. But no big deal .. keep getting us more news and Popats .. Best.)
[Thanks, we will try our best! Sorry, we have disabled HTML in comments so they don't start looking like MySpace or Geocities pages... -Kian
Ps: Great list, it's amazing how much lawyers' English is different from normal English, I never quite realised until you both pointed it out...]
Sigh ... what can I say ... "complete bastardisation of the tongue and mind"
Then: "Dude, I need to head to Goa and trip - it brings me such clarity."
Now: " Going forward, we need to get more clarity on this issue."
@ Clarity - I swear i need to head to goa! (in any case i always have my head "in" goa!)
Thanks Popat. I don't blog but whenever no tight deadline is knocking, I post comments. Facility and Schedule are my favourites, hence I started with one and ended with the other.
@ everyone - Although Goa is a distant dream (sigh) .... other "trips" are possible for relaxation / clarity ;)