Note :- If you're waiting for the sequel to Mooting for the Professionals :- Part I, I'm terribly sorry but you'll have to wait just a bit longer. I'm still to finish the second instalment to my satisfaction. All my apologies. As a filler, I've tried my hand at verse instead of the usual prose. The usual disclaimers apply - nothing that follows is intended to have more than the most tenuous connection to reality, everything is firmly tongue-in-cheek and greatly distorted for humorous/dramatic effect, and most importantly, I do not in fact hate corporate law. I just greatly enjoy making fun of it. ;)
From Noob to Nariman (and still no wiser..)
I've got myself a corporate job,
For the power, the money, the fame;
(But how high can you really rise in a firm
That bears someone else’s last name?)
They put me in a tiny cubicle,
They hand me my diligence file;
I will not let it get me down -
If it kills me, Goddammit, I'll smile.
Some people dream of wealth, and
Some people of world peace;
I just want a corner office,
And a set of Beemer keys.
The sea is calm and sparkly;
The sky’s the colour of wine;
The horizon is unbroken,
One day that view’ll be mine.
I encourage the right gossip;
I quietly quash the bad;
My bonuses are squirreled away,
To fund my bachelor pad.
I am seen with the right people,
I laugh at all their jokes;
I cultivate an accent -
I replace ‘dudes’ with ‘blokes’.
I read my Legally India,
I cheer for L. Bhasin;
I shudder to think of my bonuses, if
They let them white blokes in.
Silk carpet, rosewood sofa,
My secretary is a MILF;
For these, my life's little luxuries,
I am thankful to the SILF.
Years pass, they make me Partner,
Those Beemer keys are finally mine;
I let my chauffeur have them..
(Only he has the time.)
My Blackberry takes over my vacations; yet,
I accumulate air-miles;
The stunning sea-view to the right of me,
Is obscured by a pile of files.
I've gone from Folly Noob to Nariman,
(Kian knows I earn more than I reveal)
So it's odd; I still feel like a hamster,
Doomed forever to a corporate wheel.
No doubt, my shoes are shiny;
No doubt, my suit’s bespoke;
Turns out I’m still just a gold-shod buffalo,
In a golden corporate yoke.
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(Edited to Add - A friend tells me 'Beemer' refers only to the BMW bikes and not the cars. Oh well, one lives and one learns. Auto-enthusiasts kindly excuse.)