I'm a significantly good-looking guy. It doesn't really help, most women my age are either already taken or get intimidated by me, the rest are too boring for me to be interested in them. The small minority that is interested in me just wants something casual or unserious, which I don't do.
I'm all these things, just an inch less than 6 feet tho. I honestly don't, life has been painfully lonely on the other hand. As a man, you need to have good social skills too, looks alone dont help the way they do for women.
I’d also add that women will glance and even stare at you regularly because of your looks, which makes its difficult to understand whether she is actually interested or just checking you out. I’ve been burned more than once :)
Not sure about how good I look since everyone has a different standard [I am the most handsome guy according to my mom, sister and ex-girlfriend], but if you are in the age bracket of 20s-40s, dressing well and sounding mature will almost guarantee an emergency exit row seat.
If they don't do it on their own, you can politely request. I don't remember the last time I sat in a non-emergency row exit seat.
By dressing well, I mean - non flashy, ironed and clean clothes (including Footwear).
ive considered myself medium ugly all my life, but after being offered that seat in almost every second flight ive taken, i think im reconsidering. thanks dude :p
Bhai why do u want to feel sucky? Happiness is a choice. Khush reh yaar. Not everyone has evertyhing. Tu good looking ni hai but acchi job kar paise kama and spend it
There was a recent ▮▮▮ grad good looking guy at CAM. Flashy abs- muscles, jawline and all. He is also single- could not find a girl. So no worries, just being good looking does not get you girls
coping mechanism alert. tbh id rather be great looking and single aand walk alone than be avg looking and be around women , the former is always going to have 100x peace of mind than the latter
It helps with little things. People will go the extra mile for you. They will come and talk to you even if you make no effort. But for women at least, it is also a pain. Maybe you don't want to talk to some pushy loud guy who is talking to you for his own ego. You would prefer the sweet quiet guy who will never approach you and you will assume he finds you boring. You won't get the chance to talk to him if you are surrounded by loud pushy guys all the time.
For women especially, people will just assume you must be dumb. I say this because when I get fat, people smile at me less and don't do things for me so much but they don't treat me like I must be stupid.
So yeah I don't know. Is it worth getting free drinks and tables in crowded restaurants if you attract the wrong kind of people and everyone assumes you are dumb?
Why not approach the sweet, quiet guy yourself rather than wait to be approached (assuming you are female, which is what your “when I get fat” comment seems to suggest)? My experience of the last 42 years on this planet is that most emotionally inadequate outcomes stem from a failure to communicate, which stems from either fear (whether of rejection by the recipient, fear of being made fun of by others etc.) or ego. In a perfect world…….
Delhi corp lawyer here. I have been told many times that I am handsome (being tall, fair complexioned etc). I also speak with a "proper" accent and went to a "branded" school in Delhi, then a prestigious law school. This seems to make me attractive to many girls. To my embarrassment, even parents of girls approach me. A pushy Punjabi aunty from an extremely wealthy family blatantly approached me at a wedding, took my number and sent me photos of her daughter.
However, the truth is that I have rebuffed such advances because I only want to get involved with someone with who I have a lot in common and can connect emotionally with. Many guys would happily say yes to marrying rich girls, but I am not obsessed with money and I really hate the Delhi culture of showing off wealth. I don't buy ANY luxury brands. I even want to switch to policy research, as a few of my friends have done. Perhaps then I won't seem so attractive! 😜
So, for now, still waiting for the right girl.... ☹️ Also dreading going to weddings and meeting pushy aunties.... 🫣
Fairness once upon a time used to correlate with wealth and higher status in most parts of India. The reason is not inherent, it's just that people who conquered Indian kingdoms were usually fairer than majority(not all) of the inhabitants of that kingdom
Female 29 : actually it's not good to be conventionally attractive. Firstly you get hit on a lot. Even from creepy ugly men. Old men. Young ones. Everyone.
If you are a conventionally attractive man, you will get hit on. But you don't get creeped out like we do. You don't have to fear for your life.
Also,
Compared to my other female colleagues people almost always treat me nicely for my good look. Mostly men, but even women treat me nicely because of looks.
My other female colleagues are rarely given the courtesies I am given to.
But is it worth it? Absolutely no. Because good looks can attract creeps and dangerous men.
Expound - "even from creepy ugly men". Had these men been good looking but creepy that would've made it any better for you? or for you anything creepy is ugly or vice-versa. I hope you get what I am trying to question.
Nothing to brag about in this. I have done this since class 9th till the time my college ended. In college for all those 10 semester, I made most of my projects with this one girl, who used to complete the project and I was just formatting it and submitting it. The girl was way to good looking than me, still she did it, and we were not dating either.
im a mid looking dude who happens to have a 'catch' of a girlfriend - whenever i see tall and good looking men walk past her, my heart just breaks into pieces cos in my head - i know my gf is imagining them naked - she wont admit it and thats fine but idk mate. so if u ask me, i hate good looking dudes
To be very honest, being good looking does eventually become a double-edged sword. Frequent compliments and appreciation makes you feel like you’re on top of the world but the moment it stops, even for a day or two, you start spiralling into a pool of insecurities.
The only real (and unfortunate) way of dealing with this insecurity is to disregard other people’s appreciation or criticism as far as practicable.
Imagine trying to take a nap in flights and the like and waking up only to find the stranger next to you smiling at you and wishing you a very good morning at 5PM. It's mostly pain and no gain here.
Dude, don't do this to yourself. I know looks matter, because I have suffered due to this social construct for the longest time, and still do. I do not know whether you are a guy or a girl, but trust me, not worth it, and this approach is horrendous to your self esteem.My friends/ peer group have always had girls wayyyy more better looking than me.
Guys AND girls tend to approach them, talk to them, completely ignoring me. I am seen, heard only when we are discussing something related to law or academic/ research pursuits. I am pretty decent at that, and contribute significantly to such discussions. [Note: others in my peer group, including the really good looking ones also participate in such discussions in a healthy manner. Beauty and brains need not be mutually exclusive]
The wilfully-being-ignored thing sucks. Those like us, who are not blessed in the looks department, irrespective of our gender, have to make peace with our reality.
Don't ask the world to take a dump on you.
The world is gonna do that even without your asking.
Grin and bear the tag of 'not-really-sight-for-sore-eyes'.
Strive for excellence in your work, because that's something which helps people like us establish and maintain some degree of relevance.
If they don't do it on their own, you can politely request. I don't remember the last time I sat in a non-emergency row exit seat.
By dressing well, I mean - non flashy, ironed and clean clothes (including Footwear).
For women especially, people will just assume you must be dumb. I say this because when I get fat, people smile at me less and don't do things for me so much but they don't treat me like I must be stupid.
So yeah I don't know. Is it worth getting free drinks and tables in crowded restaurants if you attract the wrong kind of people and everyone assumes you are dumb?
However, the truth is that I have rebuffed such advances because I only want to get involved with someone with who I have a lot in common and can connect emotionally with. Many guys would happily say yes to marrying rich girls, but I am not obsessed with money and I really hate the Delhi culture of showing off wealth. I don't buy ANY luxury brands. I even want to switch to policy research, as a few of my friends have done. Perhaps then I won't seem so attractive! 😜
So, for now, still waiting for the right girl.... ☹️ Also dreading going to weddings and meeting pushy aunties.... 🫣
I thinks this a sign, universe's sign that we should get in touch and start a family together.
Love,
AS
If you are a conventionally attractive man, you will get hit on. But you don't get creeped out like we do. You don't have to fear for your life.
Also,
Compared to my other female colleagues people almost always treat me nicely for my good look. Mostly men, but even women treat me nicely because of looks.
My other female colleagues are rarely given the courtesies I am given to.
But is it worth it? Absolutely no. Because good looks can attract creeps and dangerous men.
1. Made a senior guy write an editorial test for a law review.
2. Got offered co-authorship for doing citations.
3. Easy and abundant sex, liquor, and other substances.
4. Internships are smooth.
The only real (and unfortunate) way of dealing with this insecurity is to disregard other people’s appreciation or criticism as far as practicable.
Guys AND girls tend to approach them, talk to them, completely ignoring me. I am seen, heard only when we are discussing something related to law or academic/ research pursuits. I am pretty decent at that, and contribute significantly to such discussions. [Note: others in my peer group, including the really good looking ones also participate in such discussions in a healthy manner. Beauty and brains need not be mutually exclusive]
The wilfully-being-ignored thing sucks. Those like us, who are not blessed in the looks department, irrespective of our gender, have to make peace with our reality.
Don't ask the world to take a dump on you.
The world is gonna do that even without your asking.
Grin and bear the tag of 'not-really-sight-for-sore-eyes'.
Strive for excellence in your work, because that's something which helps people like us establish and maintain some degree of relevance.