Dude, don't do this to yourself. I know looks matter, because I have suffered due to this social construct for the longest time, and still do. I do not know whether you are a guy or a girl, but trust me, not worth it, and this approach is horrendous to your self esteem.My friends/ peer group have always had girls wayyyy more better looking than me.

Guys AND girls tend to approach them, talk to them, completely ignoring me. I am seen, heard only when we are discussing something related to law or academic/ research pursuits. I am pretty decent at that, and contribute significantly to such discussions. [Note: others in my peer group, including the really good looking ones also participate in such discussions in a healthy manner. Beauty and brains need not be mutually exclusive]

The wilfully-being-ignored thing sucks. Those like us, who are not blessed in the looks department, irrespective of our gender, have to make peace with our reality.

Don't ask the world to take a dump on you.

The world is gonna do that even without your asking.

Grin and bear the tag of 'not-really-sight-for-sore-eyes'.

Strive for excellence in your work, because that's something which helps people like us establish and maintain some degree of relevance.

To be very honest, being good looking does eventually become a double-edged sword. Frequent compliments and appreciation makes you feel like you’re on top of the world but the moment it stops, even for a day or two, you start spiralling into a pool of insecurities.

The only real (and unfortunate) way of dealing with this insecurity is to disregard other people’s appreciation or criticism as far as practicable.

Nothing to brag about in this. I have done this since class 9th till the time my college ended. In college for all those 10 semester, I made most of my projects with this one girl, who used to complete the project and I was just formatting it and submitting it. The girl was way to good looking than me, still she did it, and we were not dating either.

im a mid looking dude who happens to have a 'catch' of a girlfriend - whenever i see tall and good looking men walk past her, my heart just breaks into pieces cos in my head - i know my gf is imagining them naked - she wont admit it and thats fine but idk mate. so if u ask me, i hate good looking dudes

Female 29 : actually it's not good to be conventionally attractive. Firstly you get hit on a lot. Even from creepy ugly men. Old men. Young ones. Everyone.

If you are a conventionally attractive man, you will get hit on. But you don't get creeped out like we do. You don't have to fear for your life.

Also,

Compared to my other female colleagues people almost always treat me nicely for my good look. Mostly men, but even women treat me nicely because of looks.

My other female colleagues are rarely given the courtesies I am given to.

But is it worth it? Absolutely no. Because good looks can attract creeps and dangerous men.

Delhi corp lawyer here. I have been told many times that I am handsome (being tall, fair complexioned etc). I also speak with a "proper" accent and went to a "branded" school in Delhi, then a prestigious law school. This seems to make me attractive to many girls. To my embarrassment, even parents of girls approach me. A pushy Punjabi aunty from an extremely wealthy family blatantly approached me at a wedding, took my number and sent me photos of her daughter.

However, the truth is that I have rebuffed such advances because I only want to get involved with someone with who I have a lot in common and can connect emotionally with. Many guys would happily say yes to marrying rich girls, but I am not obsessed with money and I really hate the Delhi culture of showing off wealth. I don't buy ANY luxury brands. I even want to switch to policy research, as a few of my friends have done. Perhaps then I won't seem so attractive! 😜

So, for now, still waiting for the right girl.... ☹️ Also dreading going to weddings and meeting pushy aunties.... 🫣

Why not approach the sweet, quiet guy yourself rather than wait to be approached (assuming you are female, which is what your “when I get fat” comment seems to suggest)? My experience of the last 42 years on this planet is that most emotionally inadequate outcomes stem from a failure to communicate, which stems from either fear (whether of rejection by the recipient, fear of being made fun of by others etc.) or ego. In a perfect world…….

It helps with little things. People will go the extra mile for you. They will come and talk to you even if you make no effort. But for women at least, it is also a pain. Maybe you don't want to talk to some pushy loud guy who is talking to you for his own ego. You would prefer the sweet quiet guy who will never approach you and you will assume he finds you boring. You won't get the chance to talk to him if you are surrounded by loud pushy guys all the time.

For women especially, people will just assume you must be dumb. I say this because when I get fat, people smile at me less and don't do things for me so much but they don't treat me like I must be stupid.

So yeah I don't know. Is it worth getting free drinks and tables in crowded restaurants if you attract the wrong kind of people and everyone assumes you are dumb?

Not sure about how good I look since everyone has a different standard [I am the most handsome guy according to my mom, sister and ex-girlfriend], but if you are in the age bracket of 20s-40s, dressing well and sounding mature will almost guarantee an emergency exit row seat.

If they don't do it on their own, you can politely request. I don't remember the last time I sat in a non-emergency row exit seat.

By dressing well, I mean - non flashy, ironed and clean clothes (including Footwear).

I'm a significantly good-looking guy. It doesn't really help, most women my age are either already taken or get intimidated by me, the rest are too boring for me to be interested in them. The small minority that is interested in me just wants something casual or unserious, which I don't do.