I’m from a t-1 nlu and belong to a small t-2 city in Haryana. The culture I’ve seen here over the past 1.5 years is honestly shocking. It may come as a cultural shock but still whatever is happening here does make me feel left out. For instance, the drug culture, alcohol and smoking at least 1-2 pack of cigarettes a day is extremely common and if you don’t do the same, you’re considered as a loser and are ostracised for the same, due to which you cannot socialise, build up connections and have any sort of edge over others. It’s honestly debilitating how much is this culture ingrained into the students over here that there conversations start and end only with this thing and that they belittle others who don’t conform to their standards.
Moreover, everyone have become maniacs for getting a ppo/job at a law firm(more than 90% of the batch is solely inclined towards corporate) that they’re constantly doing moots/adrs and debate competitions non-stop. They sleep for like 3-4 hrs a day at max as opposed to me who need a minimum of 7 hours worth of sleep to even feel sane. I just don’t know whether I’m even fit for this toxic profession despite having a percentile of upwards of 99.5 in clat 2022. I feel like I’m going nowhere in life. People say you’re not a fit for this profession if you don’t party, hookup with random strangers, be a social butterfly and constantly be on a hustle or else you see your entire life going down the drain??
I’m not depressed or anything but honestly fed up with all of this and would honestly like to have your guys opinion on this so that I don’t feel that alone or being the sole left-out guy who’s golden period of college isn’t going the way he thought it would.
If this is the case then I don’t want to have a law firm job. I’ll be more than happy to work at a major 60-70% pay cut than to again embrace this toxic environment :)
this generation is gone, hook ups drugs and other stuff, you might not get included by the people who do that but trust me you don't need their help or association instead find like minded people who care about themselves by going to the gym and stuff, you can still enjoy life without doing drugs or hook ups but some uneducated spoilt brats will definitely hate you for that, just ignore them knowing you are much better than that and enjoy your life
Actually, the thing is, I’m unable to find anyone who isn’t into this. Over 80-85% of my batchmates are from t-1 cities (Bangalore, Delhi, Mumbai and the like) and for them it is actually quite common since most of their parents associate with the same things and have no issues about that. Me, being from a conservative kinda family, was not exposed to any of this stuff growing up and neither were these things common or talked about on a regular basis by my peers where I spent my entire childhood. Moreover, the rest of the batch from smaller cities is also into this kinda stuff and almost no one imagines their day w/o all of the stuff that I had mentioned above.
This is the situation here and I can’t even imagine what it’d be like at Jindal, Symbi or any other pvt. uni such as Ashoka. It’s honestly quite sad that I won’t be able to pursue my corporate career in a lavish t1 law firm if the culture is same over there so Imma just do a low paying in-house job or even a government psu job for that matter. I badly need mental peace rather than whatever these guys are aiming for at this point.
T1 cities are the cultural colonies of American Empire in this hyperglobalized era. There is no cultural elite there only financial elites. You will find extremely hard to insulate yourself from these people. Even if you manage if escape this infection somehow your children will mostly get affected even if there is a single lapse committed. Better take a Govt psu and live in suburbs
As a senior who came from a village into a well known private university, I share your sentiments. I didn’t indulge in hookups, alcohol, cigarettes, non-vegetarian food or smoking up and wasn’t constantly chasing accomplishments in college. But I also did not look down on any of the above. I enjoyed hanging out with people so I participated in organising committees. I looked for people who could enjoy sober lunches and dinner and good food in city restaurants - and asked generally in class if people want to join. I hung out with smokers and had chai while they smoked. I hung out with alcohol enthusiasts and had virgin mocktails and offered cocktail making skills. I had a gala time with a category of intellectuals while they smoked up. You don’t have to hookup if you don’t want it - and you may look for a stable relationship. I accepted people are different and come from different walks of life and emptied my notion of life to learn more about them and there lifestyles. Humans - especially lawyers are lonely creatures. Most are always happy to talks about themselves, provided you don’t make them feel like you are judging them.
Again - you do you. Tier 1 or local government colleges, all have the same environments - you just have a base of accompalished alumni’s to reach out, competitive and ambitious circle of batchmates and promise of decent orgs showing up on campus. If you want to sleep for 7 hours do that. If you do not want to dedicate all your time to different competitions - don’t. If you do not want to pursue a corporate job - don’t. If you want to just focus on academics and relax - do that. Your activities will impact only you and not anyone else.
Only one thing you need to understand and imbibe. Make efforts in anything you finally decide to pursue and strive for excellence in that. You are in India (law school is irrelevant), and you will do fine if you decide to not put in effort or put in effort. But efforts will set you apart - in personal and professional life.
I had a fun college life - no moots, debates, ADR or papers only events and academics. I am doing as well as anyone in my year from best universities. A lot of factors matter in life - once you identify a problem, look for a solution.
Thank you so much for this advice, bhaiya. It really means a lot to me that you took your time to respond to me.
It feels really great to hear that someone, somewhere out there feels the same way and did not give in to the pressure like the majority did. I was always told that you’ll end up as a failure and that you’re wasting a precious seat since your coming here is of no use whatsoever if you don’t indulge in any of the above mentioned stuff. It takes guts to be like you and your re-assurance is really appreciated.
I never wanted to be in a rat-race of any kind, or the sort of sigma male activities that are being followed mindlessly over here. I can’t even tell you the things publically that I’ve witnessed over here during my close to 2 year long journey. It’s definitely true that some people have their lives on easier mode that they grew up in this culture, got the same thing here and will continue to have it during their job life, as opposed to us who learnt everything the hard way. However, we cannot change that and that’s what life actually is so yeah Imma just wait and try to enjoy the remaining time here by pursuing the activities that you did or something that genuinely makes me fulfilled or content with my life.
Once again, thank you very much for this, bhaiya :))
you need to dissociate. smoking cigarettes will do you no good, hooking-up with strangers will leave you feeling empty and hollow, just participate in extra-curriculars, internships and academics if you enjoy it. dont be a part of the rat-race, just figure out life on your own. there are like-minded people out there, im sure theyre even there in your college and even if theyre in a minority once you find your people, you'll be fine. i can relate to the loneliness that comes with refusing to giving in to hedonism. never smoked, never did drugs, never hooked-up with strangers but id choose loneliness over degradation.
Hey bhaiya, OP here. Thank you so much for this valuable advice that you’ve given as opposed to the majority of the seniors and other people over here. I was always told that you have to compulsorily engage in these things and without that your purpose of coming here is nothing and you’ll be of no use.
I honestly never liked the moots/adr thingy and would love to have decent no. of good publications only (not for the reason for landing a job but to have a feeling of accomplishment you know) and yeah looking forward to more such things that genuinely make me fulfilled rather than doing them out of FOMO.
Your reassurance really means a lot to me. Thank you very much.
No worries bro, I've done the same. Never was into the Moot Court non-sense, thought it was pretentious and cringey. I got several publications d instead. Just follow your own path. Ik its lonely but there are people like us out there, it will take time to find them but they're there.
Are you saying people from t2 cities dont participate in the above? Maybe look at your seniors and you will realise they do too. Id suggest you not to categorise people and mingle with people beyond such biases
Moreover, everyone have become maniacs for getting a ppo/job at a law firm(more than 90% of the batch is solely inclined towards corporate) that they’re constantly doing moots/adrs and debate competitions non-stop. They sleep for like 3-4 hrs a day at max as opposed to me who need a minimum of 7 hours worth of sleep to even feel sane. I just don’t know whether I’m even fit for this toxic profession despite having a percentile of upwards of 99.5 in clat 2022. I feel like I’m going nowhere in life. People say you’re not a fit for this profession if you don’t party, hookup with random strangers, be a social butterfly and constantly be on a hustle or else you see your entire life going down the drain??
I’m not depressed or anything but honestly fed up with all of this and would honestly like to have your guys opinion on this so that I don’t feel that alone or being the sole left-out guy who’s golden period of college isn’t going the way he thought it would.
This is the situation here and I can’t even imagine what it’d be like at Jindal, Symbi or any other pvt. uni such as Ashoka. It’s honestly quite sad that I won’t be able to pursue my corporate career in a lavish t1 law firm if the culture is same over there so Imma just do a low paying in-house job or even a government psu job for that matter. I badly need mental peace rather than whatever these guys are aiming for at this point.
As a senior who came from a village into a well known private university, I share your sentiments. I didn’t indulge in hookups, alcohol, cigarettes, non-vegetarian food or smoking up and wasn’t constantly chasing accomplishments in college. But I also did not look down on any of the above. I enjoyed hanging out with people so I participated in organising committees. I looked for people who could enjoy sober lunches and dinner and good food in city restaurants - and asked generally in class if people want to join. I hung out with smokers and had chai while they smoked. I hung out with alcohol enthusiasts and had virgin mocktails and offered cocktail making skills. I had a gala time with a category of intellectuals while they smoked up. You don’t have to hookup if you don’t want it - and you may look for a stable relationship. I accepted people are different and come from different walks of life and emptied my notion of life to learn more about them and there lifestyles. Humans - especially lawyers are lonely creatures. Most are always happy to talks about themselves, provided you don’t make them feel like you are judging them.
Again - you do you. Tier 1 or local government colleges, all have the same environments - you just have a base of accompalished alumni’s to reach out, competitive and ambitious circle of batchmates and promise of decent orgs showing up on campus. If you want to sleep for 7 hours do that. If you do not want to dedicate all your time to different competitions - don’t. If you do not want to pursue a corporate job - don’t. If you want to just focus on academics and relax - do that. Your activities will impact only you and not anyone else.
Only one thing you need to understand and imbibe. Make efforts in anything you finally decide to pursue and strive for excellence in that. You are in India (law school is irrelevant), and you will do fine if you decide to not put in effort or put in effort. But efforts will set you apart - in personal and professional life.
I had a fun college life - no moots, debates, ADR or papers only events and academics. I am doing as well as anyone in my year from best universities. A lot of factors matter in life - once you identify a problem, look for a solution.
It feels really great to hear that someone, somewhere out there feels the same way and did not give in to the pressure like the majority did. I was always told that you’ll end up as a failure and that you’re wasting a precious seat since your coming here is of no use whatsoever if you don’t indulge in any of the above mentioned stuff. It takes guts to be like you and your re-assurance is really appreciated.
I never wanted to be in a rat-race of any kind, or the sort of sigma male activities that are being followed mindlessly over here. I can’t even tell you the things publically that I’ve witnessed over here during my close to 2 year long journey. It’s definitely true that some people have their lives on easier mode that they grew up in this culture, got the same thing here and will continue to have it during their job life, as opposed to us who learnt everything the hard way. However, we cannot change that and that’s what life actually is so yeah Imma just wait and try to enjoy the remaining time here by pursuing the activities that you did or something that genuinely makes me fulfilled or content with my life.
Once again, thank you very much for this, bhaiya :))
I honestly never liked the moots/adr thingy and would love to have decent no. of good publications only (not for the reason for landing a job but to have a feeling of accomplishment you know) and yeah looking forward to more such things that genuinely make me fulfilled rather than doing them out of FOMO.
Your reassurance really means a lot to me. Thank you very much.