I’m 22f, would be starting with my final year. I think I have an okay-CV and I’m from a not-so prestigious private college. I am good at what I do and my hold on research is strong. I have asked for recommendations twice which have ended with men indirectly hinting towards going on a date or a fully-paid trip with them. How am I supposed to get recommendations from people without getting potentially trapped in return-favour?
He didn’t “made her do that”. She’s an adult who consented to it. Please don’t make it sound like something more serious (like rape/sexual assault) because it is clearly not that.
I dont think he made her do that, it's disgusting that she did that to him, underperforming resource-traded sexual relations in lieu of undue favors.
i don't believe the random anonymous throwing accusation that she had to sleep for something. that's the most hot and favorite story/rumor or gossip at every office.
I’m so sorry you had to do this. I’ve seen women at my firm do this too, and it’s helped them. It’s extremely discouraging of course. POSH is ofcourse a farce since the bosses will never take action against these people unless it makes a big enough media scandal
Recommendations for jobs? You should never ask someone who has not taught you or worked with you in a professional capacity. And if they say no- you should walk away. If youre not doing those two things- youre asking someone to engage in dishonest behaviour and they will use that as an opportunity to exploit you. I have been in the profession ten years now and I have never once had anyone ask me this- mostly cause my work speaks for me, also because i have a reputation for unflinching honesty so they know they will get refused and outed.
If you have worked hard and done everything you can and someone is still asking you for sex ? Leave that workplace first chance you get. Stand up for yourself. Find better people to work with. Maybe find women lawyers/ professors.
As the popular adage goes, "there is no such thing as a free lunch". No one is out here to run a charity and give random favors. Either build a genuine connection, or utilize the second option you are suggesting. At least you have the 2nd option (potentially at the cost of self respect and dignity), most men dont even have this option. If I were a girl, I would definitely be climbing the corporate ladder while getting validation and bodily satisfaction at the same time. I dont see any wrong here.
So basically you'd be okay to become a corporate whore! Now R don't reedact the word. Whatever it is guys,. A guy or a girl if you sleep to get a job you're nothing but whore
why my comment is marked as trollish, when i only reiterated what she said, either mark her comment as trollish or unmark mine, you double-standard hypocrite.
You do realise you have to sleep with everyone in that ladder, being called a literal slu.., and those men still keeping you way below them so they can continue to exploit them? Yes you can accept sex and try to climb up, but isn't it common sense that those same men will not like the women they sleep with in the same/ upper position as them?
Please read why a mega producer and star like Harvey Weinstein is sentenced to such a high prison time, what does a random partner stand a chance for?
You don’t need to be a woman to prostitute yourself. Go for it man. Offer your boss your body.
You didn’t think of it ? Is that because this kind of thing is imposed on and expected off women and not men ?
Is it because you want to be able to consent to sexual activity instead of having to sleep with someone to advance in a career in law ?
There’s no validation or pleasure in sex work for exploited women. Whoever told you otherwise was either trying to change your moral compass or was trying to justify their own behaviour.
As u said , you have an ‘okay-CV’. Maybe try making it excellent. Focus on you academics. And if anyone wants to ‘sleep’ with you , try reaching to your nearest sexual harassment helpline or kick him in the balls and take him to police station.
Anticipating a bang in return or being clear about the quid pro quo arrangement is definitely not a crime, so good luck going to the police just because someone was indicating/implying that.
Let's not pretend as if we are shocked. It is routine for associates and even partners to seek sexual favours from interns. We all know about a horrific case where an intern committed suicide while working in Bangalore, after she rebuffed advances and complained to the cops, only to face mental harassment in return.
I still remember that, after the Justice Ganguly incident, I met three very eminent lawyers who were blaming the STUDENT and badmouthing NUJS. That's the reality.
Work hard that's it, word hard enough for anyone to think let's not lose a worthy talent. They only asked you to sleep because you're CV is not just good enough, let's just face it, i am not gonna talk about what i can't verify, but something you admit.
I hate it when women get underserved work/job by sleeping with men and pushing all deserved ones a set back because gender ratio don't want any women in power don't want any return from junior male.
You guys first crib about when someone ask to sleep with them because of your averages or below average credentials, you jump ahead of queue by eventually sleeping and putting a blot on merit and get bodily satisfaction/pleasure and earn a supporter in firm throughout you stay there and later come and seeks sympathy by giving out a story how you were treated badly and seek validation on how you're not wrong.
No no no, don't do this. We live in equal opportunities providing world, you're morally wrong and selfish if you choose that option because you know you're not good enough.
There are lot of women who are at the highest of their career, all made by themselves, they didn't take easy route like you, they did when there was no idea of equality, yes, they made it during that time.
No you're from the feminist age and still so subservient that you have to ask here.
Usually these situations are no win. Only misogynists would drop such hints. You don't have to throw a tantrum or do anything that involves wasting your time and energy over these douchebags. Just pretend not to understand, gracefully exit and find someone decent who will actually support your career. If flattery will get you the letter and you never have to see them again, then flatter away. You shouldn't have to but men do versions of that too. Just make sure no numbers are exchanged and that once you get the letter, that's the end of it. I can tell you that men like this are a complete waste of your time, so spend as little time and possible on them.
i don't believe the random anonymous throwing accusation that she had to sleep for something. that's the most hot and favorite story/rumor or gossip at every office.
If you have worked hard and done everything you can and someone is still asking you for sex ? Leave that workplace first chance you get. Stand up for yourself. Find better people to work with. Maybe find women lawyers/ professors.
You do realise you have to sleep with everyone in that ladder, being called a literal slu.., and those men still keeping you way below them so they can continue to exploit them? Yes you can accept sex and try to climb up, but isn't it common sense that those same men will not like the women they sleep with in the same/ upper position as them?
Please read why a mega producer and star like Harvey Weinstein is sentenced to such a high prison time, what does a random partner stand a chance for?
You didn’t think of it ? Is that because this kind of thing is imposed on and expected off women and not men ?
Is it because you want to be able to consent to sexual activity instead of having to sleep with someone to advance in a career in law ?
There’s no validation or pleasure in sex work for exploited women. Whoever told you otherwise was either trying to change your moral compass or was trying to justify their own behaviour.
I still remember that, after the Justice Ganguly incident, I met three very eminent lawyers who were blaming the STUDENT and badmouthing NUJS. That's the reality.
I hate it when women get underserved work/job by sleeping with men and pushing all deserved ones a set back because gender ratio don't want any women in power don't want any return from junior male.
You guys first crib about when someone ask to sleep with them because of your averages or below average credentials, you jump ahead of queue by eventually sleeping and putting a blot on merit and get bodily satisfaction/pleasure and earn a supporter in firm throughout you stay there and later come and seeks sympathy by giving out a story how you were treated badly and seek validation on how you're not wrong.
No no no, don't do this. We live in equal opportunities providing world, you're morally wrong and selfish if you choose that option because you know you're not good enough.
There are lot of women who are at the highest of their career, all made by themselves, they didn't take easy route like you, they did when there was no idea of equality, yes, they made it during that time.
No you're from the feminist age and still so subservient that you have to ask here.
I am disappointed in you.
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