Hello to all. This is just going to be a mediocre teen-angst-style venting post. If you want to, you can bear me. Or just ignore.
I am from a small town in India, and I just graduated in 2023 with a BBA LLB with Constitutional Law as a specialisation from a non-NLU university (and not very well known as well, but I had good teachers who taught me well).
To give some context, I never wanted to study law. My parents forced me to study Science (PCMB), and I miserably failed. I didn't do well in Bio, nor could I clear JEE. And they didn't want to take a gap year. So they put me in law school. In there also, they wanted me to take BSc LLB, and I wanted BA. But I negotiated, and we settled on BBA.
They did take out a small loan to support my education. That kept me motivated to study hard. I did well in my not-so-known law school. I liked studying law and got interested in Indian history that we were taught in the intro papers of the Constitution, so I chose Constitutional Laws as a specialisation. I did different types of internships, wrote pieces, and participated in some moots as well, but mostly wrote research articles. But, after five years, I have realised that enthusiasm that isn't yours doesn't last long. I am done with law. I have zero interest in law. Zero. Nada. Zilch. No offence; I'm sorry. It just doesn't work well for me.
But I need a job. My parents have retired, and we are not from a well-off family, and I need a job, even if you pay off the loans they took for my studies at least. How do I find a job as a freshman who's so disinterested and demotivated? They have started getting frustrated that they made me study by taking a loan and it's not yielding results.
The specific moment I realised that law was not for me was when... I sat in on my college placements and got selected for a few firms and companies. I got waitlisted at a few, and all their reviews said I have no zest. That's when I realised. I have no zest for the law.
Now I have been thinking: I spent so much time doing things my parents made me do that I never tried to figure out what I was interested in. So, now when they ask, "What will you do then?" I don't know. The question feels like a trap, sort of. Like a bird in a cage with the door open. Yet it's not flying off. People ask, "Why?" And it looks down at its feet, tied to the bars of the cage.
I have no zest for life as well. But I can't afford to take some time and figure it out. I know what I have to do. Force myself to continue doing something that's not mine or my choice. I feel shame for having a CV full of credentials that I have zero interest in. A degree full of choices that I had choices in. Every time I submit my CV somewhere, I hate to write my name there because it does not feel "mine" at all.
My life has not even started yet. And yet, I want to quit. How?
Coming from a not so privileged family myself, people like us cannot afford to fail because we have zero backups.
Also, zest for something isn't something you realise you are lacking when others tell it to you...,
I am someone who too has zero passion for law, but I don't mind it, I don't hate it. I am a corporate lawyer, who is paid well and is settled at a firm where the work life balance is good enough to enjoy life outside my career. With the overpopulation, the fight and competition in our generation, its impossible for everyone, especially for people not from wealthy families to 'follow their dreams' and still make it in something they are passionate about.
So many people in our generation keep on following an unrealistic path or do not realise what they actually want from life. However, one thing is sure, a good standard of living and a decent lifestyle without monetary pressure is one integral aspect of a good life no matter how fulfilling a passion powered career might be.
So I suggest that you suck it up, work for 2 years, pay off the loan, add some security to your family's finances and then look for what you want. You have tried to cover multiple bases and have never been sure about your career anyway, (PCBM + Bio + JEE), by looks of things, you aren't sure about what to do now too, you are only sure about what not to do.
So don't do law permanently, do it for 25 months, get out of the guilt and then do whatever you might want to do, since you giving everything up now will not only add monetary pressure but also add guilt and stress in whatever you choose to do next, its best that you first pay off the loan by doing law and then have some savings before jumping into a career change. A free guilt free mind and more space to think, plus these 2 years to think what to do next, will surely make you choose wisely.
One other thing, counterbalance aspirations with real world practical problems you are facing, otherwise you would end up digging a bigger hole for yourself.
You sound depressed and your parents have seriously messed up your career by forcing you to do things you were not interested in. I would suggest consulting a therapist as they would be in a better position to help you. Also, I don't understand why you would refuse to join a job just because you have no interest in it. Considering the fact that your parents had to take a loan even for the law degree, you should be "interested" in earning money, not in law per se.
Am a 2022 grad, and was in the same proverbial shoes as yours. Took a drop year to figure things out, and yes, my family is relatively well off so I could afford a drop year, but ask yourself this: would you rather have an year of hardship whilst trying to figure where your true interests lie, or a lifetime of working in a profession which you detest?
Also, would really advise you not reject opportunities on their face value. I, for eg, wanted to get out of the law firm rat race so bad that I inevitably dragged my ass into a far muckier one, by opting for an MBA. Try and give time to the opportunities that come your way a strong hard look before saying no them.
Start teaching constitutional law. Seems like you had a zest for it and there's a huge amount of vaccuum in this space to create an impact. Constitutional law experts can become future policy influencers.
Visiting this thread after sometime. I was in a typical sad phase and just vented without thinking anything. I got a small job that won't be too rigorous for me, so that I won't resent myself like I used to in college and school. I can save, work and at the same time, figure out my future. Can you tell me a bit more about your suggestion regarding constitutional law. I look forward to your response. Thanks.
You chose constitutional law as a specialization, so you would know better. Constitutional law knowledge is available only to closed doors of high end academia or Tier 1/2 law firms. Constitutional law thinking helps lawyers to think clearly, but a good majority of lawyers who learn by observing are bereft of constitutional law principles. It is my personal belief that dissemination of constitutional law thinking to the lawyers at scale, could have an indirect but visible impact on the quality of legal services they provide.
He Could do law in the meantime and look for other opportunities, there's no lockin period in life where this guy will be forced to do law, as commentator 1 said, he should pay off the loans and then do whatever he wants.
Also, this guy has only ever known what he doesn't want out of life, that's not a bad thing, everyone is clueless out here. But people who cannot make their mind up, will not stick to the thing they jump in to next....
I was in the same position a while ago. More or less same story. Then some idiot told me "Even if you are shitting, you don't get up and walk away. You'd be pooping your pants. You finish the process, clean up and walk away." I am doing the same, which certainly ain't shitting.
So yeah, the process gets over when you pay off the loans and your parents' retirement life is secured.
Know that there are so many people that don't get the job that you have got. You will get sympathy here from all the rich and privileged brats. But, looking at it practically, the privilege# like "interest, passion, zeal, zest" etc. are only available to the rich and affluent.
Try taking up a not so demanding job with a decent pay or a super demanding job with a high pay. Eject yourself out of this situation slowly over a long term with a side hustle of interest or at a shorter duration with good pay.
Explore alternative career options in similar fields gradually such as CA, CS, CMA, advisory, consultancy, managerial roles.
Maybe try praying and meditation to keep mental balance.
Don't give up on life. Life is more than just career.
"Do not suffer your mind."
Do this exercise. Make a list of hundred things or people you are grateful for. Acknowledge your privilege. These will eventually reduce and become tolerable. Practice gratitude everyday by writing three things at least.
Else, no matter how much a person has, no matter how sorted everything is, some elements in the question posted above, I won't name which, are capable of making you feel miserable. Don't fall into that trap.
I am from a small town in India, and I just graduated in 2023 with a BBA LLB with Constitutional Law as a specialisation from a non-NLU university (and not very well known as well, but I had good teachers who taught me well).
To give some context, I never wanted to study law. My parents forced me to study Science (PCMB), and I miserably failed. I didn't do well in Bio, nor could I clear JEE. And they didn't want to take a gap year. So they put me in law school. In there also, they wanted me to take BSc LLB, and I wanted BA. But I negotiated, and we settled on BBA.
They did take out a small loan to support my education. That kept me motivated to study hard. I did well in my not-so-known law school. I liked studying law and got interested in Indian history that we were taught in the intro papers of the Constitution, so I chose Constitutional Laws as a specialisation. I did different types of internships, wrote pieces, and participated in some moots as well, but mostly wrote research articles. But, after five years, I have realised that enthusiasm that isn't yours doesn't last long. I am done with law. I have zero interest in law. Zero. Nada. Zilch. No offence; I'm sorry. It just doesn't work well for me.
But I need a job. My parents have retired, and we are not from a well-off family, and I need a job, even if you pay off the loans they took for my studies at least. How do I find a job as a freshman who's so disinterested and demotivated? They have started getting frustrated that they made me study by taking a loan and it's not yielding results.
The specific moment I realised that law was not for me was when... I sat in on my college placements and got selected for a few firms and companies. I got waitlisted at a few, and all their reviews said I have no zest. That's when I realised. I have no zest for the law.
Now I have been thinking: I spent so much time doing things my parents made me do that I never tried to figure out what I was interested in. So, now when they ask, "What will you do then?" I don't know. The question feels like a trap, sort of. Like a bird in a cage with the door open. Yet it's not flying off. People ask, "Why?" And it looks down at its feet, tied to the bars of the cage.
I have no zest for life as well. But I can't afford to take some time and figure it out. I know what I have to do. Force myself to continue doing something that's not mine or my choice. I feel shame for having a CV full of credentials that I have zero interest in. A degree full of choices that I had choices in. Every time I submit my CV somewhere, I hate to write my name there because it does not feel "mine" at all.
My life has not even started yet. And yet, I want to quit. How?
Also, zest for something isn't something you realise you are lacking when others tell it to you...,
I am someone who too has zero passion for law, but I don't mind it, I don't hate it. I am a corporate lawyer, who is paid well and is settled at a firm where the work life balance is good enough to enjoy life outside my career. With the overpopulation, the fight and competition in our generation, its impossible for everyone, especially for people not from wealthy families to 'follow their dreams' and still make it in something they are passionate about.
So many people in our generation keep on following an unrealistic path or do not realise what they actually want from life. However, one thing is sure, a good standard of living and a decent lifestyle without monetary pressure is one integral aspect of a good life no matter how fulfilling a passion powered career might be.
So I suggest that you suck it up, work for 2 years, pay off the loan, add some security to your family's finances and then look for what you want. You have tried to cover multiple bases and have never been sure about your career anyway, (PCBM + Bio + JEE), by looks of things, you aren't sure about what to do now too, you are only sure about what not to do.
So don't do law permanently, do it for 25 months, get out of the guilt and then do whatever you might want to do, since you giving everything up now will not only add monetary pressure but also add guilt and stress in whatever you choose to do next, its best that you first pay off the loan by doing law and then have some savings before jumping into a career change. A free guilt free mind and more space to think, plus these 2 years to think what to do next, will surely make you choose wisely.
One other thing, counterbalance aspirations with real world practical problems you are facing, otherwise you would end up digging a bigger hole for yourself.
Also, would really advise you not reject opportunities on their face value. I, for eg, wanted to get out of the law firm rat race so bad that I inevitably dragged my ass into a far muckier one, by opting for an MBA. Try and give time to the opportunities that come your way a strong hard look before saying no them.
Also, this guy has only ever known what he doesn't want out of life, that's not a bad thing, everyone is clueless out here. But people who cannot make their mind up, will not stick to the thing they jump in to next....
Law can be done by any tom, dick and harry.
So yeah, the process gets over when you pay off the loans and your parents' retirement life is secured.
Know that there are so many people that don't get the job that you have got. You will get sympathy here from all the rich and privileged brats. But, looking at it practically, the privilege# like "interest, passion, zeal, zest" etc. are only available to the rich and affluent.
Try taking up a not so demanding job with a decent pay or a super demanding job with a high pay. Eject yourself out of this situation slowly over a long term with a side hustle of interest or at a shorter duration with good pay.
Explore alternative career options in similar fields gradually such as CA, CS, CMA, advisory, consultancy, managerial roles.
Maybe try praying and meditation to keep mental balance.
Don't give up on life. Life is more than just career.
"Do not suffer your mind."
Do this exercise. Make a list of hundred things or people you are grateful for. Acknowledge your privilege. These will eventually reduce and become tolerable. Practice gratitude everyday by writing three things at least.
Else, no matter how much a person has, no matter how sorted everything is, some elements in the question posted above, I won't name which, are capable of making you feel miserable. Don't fall into that trap.