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P.S.- This is not a troll.
Many male associates have spouses working at relaxed setups/professions and probably have to take a week off for a child in his entire career. Since India has a patriarchal society (let's face it) they are not expected to do anything other than bring money back home. They are not expected to do any child rearing work. Won't be called a 'bad father' for being at office till 12 all week, Infact he will be respected more for "working hard for the family". But even when a woman hires a house help she will be called "a bad mother who outsources child rearing/ can't love her kids" etc.
Some female lawyers have kids after they make Partner or atleast PA at a firm. They must be having extremely supportive husbands/families - in laws, which unfortunately only a small minority has in a country like India.
Otherwise it's hard.
These are super lucky ones, probably having extremely understanding, non- judgemental and caring husbands and massive family support so that they can have kids and go back to an office where they have to slog 247.
Every woman deserves such a support, but reality is only less than 5% of women ever gets such husbands who also works to advance her career. If you have a typical family/husband who expects you to be with kids. Things change, it can negatively affect your career.
Almost all child rearing and housework would be done by domestic help and supervised by families (in laws and parents)
And some of them quit and go for jobs with less w pressure after a few years (mostly in house or even academia)
Well that was quick.
You rely on a nanny to take care of your child. It is not fair to you or the child. Best, have a child only after you make partner and can find at least 6 hours a day at home/with family.
If the law firm don't become a sweat shop, the client will move on - each one of us in this chain is responsible - I have known people who say that they dont know what to do over a weekend if they dont have work - dont understand this mindset and it is not that the weekend work warrior is any good. Guess, this holds good not only in the legal profession.
Best way is to save and fertilize eggs and then once a couple believes that there way of life wont be affected by a little less money (accordingly live in a decent manner and not spend everything you earn - dont have EMIs and / or credit cards - max your insurance, ppf from a tax perspective - best returns ever - had a surgery which cost INR 3.4 lakhs, had to pay INR 540 rupees as was approved before through TPA) being taken home, get a more relaxed job (probably in house - have been trying, havent yet got the break).
Then have a kid. It is amazing when at 2 - 3, they believe you are indeed spider man and they miss daddy :) Better than any bonus. It is an everyday moment - long live Peppa Pig and Masha and the Bear.
Evidence of this is visible even within the most demanding Tier-1 firms. There are senior partners—sixteen years into practice—raising children, living well, and remaining professionally formidable. Many of them are driving BMW's and Mercs. Some are already being chauffeured in Maybach's. Their lives are not miracles; they are outcomes of sustained competence.
By contrast, there exists a quieter cohort: individuals unable to secure or sustain meaningful work, living in permanent uncertainty, often dependent on their parents well into adulthood. This is not bad luck masquerading as injustice; it is usually the absence of aptitude meeting the realities of a competitive profession.
The conclusion is uncomfortable but necessary. One should enter—and remain in—this profession only with the conviction that one has the temperament and ability to build a complete life within it. If marriage or children feel impossible because of the job, it is not the job that is slowly destroying you. It is the mismatch.