Sounds like you are diligent and target achiever. Suggestion- rely on your background of CA and law, to score a role in tax compliance teams supporting transactions and deals in top firms. Or corporate tax/inhouse anything you can get. Experiment and pivot to find out what makes your heart sing. If you feel you cant go for top tier firms just yet. Try with firms like Vaish/LKS/ELP and others.

It was so brave of you to be so honest and bare your heart out here. Kudos for being so courageous and having the guts to ask for help.

There are so many people in worse off situations than you are in, so many have no guidance or direction and completely, utterly lost. Don’t feel so dejected and lose hope. You’re a Lawyer AND a CA. You’ve worked hard and worked in both types of firms: legal as well as accounting firms.

What are you goals in life? Is it accumulating money? Staying away from your hometown forever? Or just working and doing the work you love without the need for earning? Your defined goal will help people point you towards the right direction

Wish to see inputs from others who can provide proper guidance at this stage. Also, it was nice to see someone not use ChatGPT for writing their post :D

Hello everyone.

I am now at juncture where I don't know what path leads to where.

I do not know what I desire to become.

I have always done things to get an escape, the short term distraction to the life.

I come from a very small city. I was always interested in sports and other stuff (including being the miscreant at school)

Had no guidance from anyone actually, little I could relate why to study and read such irrelevant books in school.

What's the purpose, what I will get out of this other than a percentage in my annual report.

Back then things at my house was not well either, my parents had a trouble, I was mentally distanced from them but being there still had effected me.

Had poor marks in 12th, barely passed.

Then I thought I have to be at home, doing my father's business in small town and at my home but then I remember I wanted to run away from it and set myself free.

But I hardly helped myself, I am decent smart but never studied.

I then once saw CLAT topper in other city where there was a NLU.

I had always dreamt of living a college life, I thought this was gateway to lead a decent life, took a drop appeared for CLAT. Never worked that hard ever in my life, but as luck would want it, CLAT paper was a copy paste of a CAT exam and a website, few were lucky if they had good English and had gone through that website, other like me could only repent on their luck.

Joined a law college which is supposedly traditional best college in T1 city.

Then to compensate for not getting top NLUs, I then did something which I always never liked CA.

At this point, my life is nothing less than sort of finding a way of a situation, or compensation to my insecurity.

Turned out, CA was just a cosmetic to my insecurity against people who had done law from Top tier NLUs, or against my friends who are solely doing CA and we're ahead of me as they started way before me.

Truth be spoken, given I choice, I love to reason and argue and research then to read a company's balance sheet. So, I thought I'll always keep law as priority and CA as something if happens on route then nothing like it.

Traditional college has it's own disadvantages of advantages, while it allowed me to CA, they didn't have any robust and reformed curriculum. Hardly had anything related to core law in first two year. It seemed my descision to do CA was a good and better idea.

Then again, world hit a snag in 2020, just when I had gotten a Tier 1 internship at law firm but then world and my opportunities both freeze indefinitely.

Snap, and in year 2021, I had graduated with no placements from college, law firms not taking intern for the whole year and half didn't help.

Let me tell, I had tried, I don't remember a day for many months where I have not applied for like 20-30 emails, every route, from the high hopes to desperate measures, I've done all.

Begining year 2022, if you've no corporate law jobs, if you can't even justifying moving out of your city, irony had me on chokehold, when I was asked to come for a physical interview for some random law firm, where the was 15k, I never came, I knew rent in Mumbai is minimum of 10k, what I will do with that.

Okay, I thought may be CA would help me, pivoted to CA, started preparing for CA, slogged for another 2 year, and become one in 2024 while seeing my friend become CA 4 year before me.

Now with a year and so in a big CA firm job, I found myself back to ground zero, where I did things I am not liking, again finding myself at a juncture where the next step is nothing but a way to escape. Again doing something, I never want to, have applied for a CFA.

My story with career is nothing less than a 1980s French love story movie where lead character is unsure, insecure and chaotic in their relationship.

Any advice or just plain rage abuse if you think that's helpful to me, you're welcome.