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For context, I prepared for JEE for 3 years. Didn’t clear it because I was simply not made for maths and hated it, but wanted to be better than my cousin who went to one and now works in the US. It was the worst thing I could’ve done to myself. I entered law by chance, graduated with a first class degree, and now work at a T1 firm in India. I was ashamed for the longest time that I failed, but objectively speaking, I’m doing great. I’ve a job that puts me in the 1% of earners in this country, can afford whatever I need and live close to my parents (who were amazing to me throughout). During my JEE failures, literally every relative of mine taunted me in some way or the other. Some talked about how my younger cousins were getting ahead, some about how my IITian cousin was doing great, all directed at me and my parents to make us feel down. The day I got the job, they all shut up. I’ve also made every conscious effort to not mingle with them any more than necessary, and it’s worked out well for me.
What you have now is anger against people who look down on you, but you cannot be complicit in this otherwise all you’ll end up with is a victim complex. You don’t get over insecurities by asking strangers online for help navigating it, you acknowledge that you couldn’t do something you wanted and make the best out of the things you still can do.
Worst case scenario, cut off your parents after telling them how you feel (but if you’re financially dependent on them, only do this after graduating). If they change, great; if not, then also great since you’re getting rid of negativity. It’ll take one huge moment of courage from you, but after that it’ll be fine.
Be practical instead of emotional. Your IITian family members may be vastly more successful than you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the same. Law pays incredibly well if you land up in the right place and it’s a profession everyone around you will need someday or the other. Law in India is especially good, since you also save a boatload in taxes which none of your super successful IITian cousins or even your parents can (they’ll end up paying anywhere between 30-40% of their income in taxes only). See the advantages you have, get a job, get successful, and then see if your parent’s tunes change or not. Stop crying and get to work now.
If you want a shiny tag which 4 people will know about then go for an IIMwala MBA after writing CAT.
Second These guys achieved great things in few years and because of achievement of there the bar is set for achievement is so high I can't achieve in my life time form this my insecurities arise
Last my father told my mother that i am defective piece in my family after my 10th that I overheard.
Is it due to not being able to work in top places of your field (like Tier 1s or Legal roles in Famous MNCs)
Or is it not being able to go for Post Docs?
Or is it not being able to excel in STEM?
my cousin, who founded a 'crazy' Al startup long before the Al boom, and my own brother, who works at Google DeepMind. This makes me feel deeply insecure so much so that I feel anxious whenever someone asks what I'm doing right after asking about my brother. Because I don't study at a top-tier or even a mid-tier university, I feel small in comparison, and sometimes I just don't want to be here.
Growing up, I was a 'B' or 'C' student. My parents didn't focus much on my studies because their first experience was with my brother, who was a natural topper without even trying. Because of this, I was never taught how to study or how to approach complex problems at an early age-an issue I still struggle with today. It might sound silly, but it's a genuine struggle. Despite this, through my own efforts, I've maintained a 9+ CGPA and secured two Tier-2 internships. Yet, I still find myself crying at night, feeling like I was 'robbed' of the high-IQ genetics my family seems to share; for context, my father has a Post-Doc in Polytechnic Fiber and my mother has a Post-Doc in Mathematical Computation
How does someone deal with the anxiety of being inferior.