T1 A2 and I think I’m breaking, where you stare at your computer screen at 11 PM on a Sunday and genuinely cannot remember what day it is or what matter you’re supposed to be working on. I am either stressing doing work or stressing in anticipation of work.

These have been coupled with constant dress downs from seniors. Everything else in my life has effectively stopped. Gym, friends, dating - Nothing. I can barely manage to eat meals that aren’t ordered on Zomato at 10 PM.

The worst part is that I’m doing this to myself. The culture is toxic, yes, but I’ve internalized it. I feel guilty taking a Saturday afternoon off. I check emails while brushing my teeth. I’ve become the problem.

So I reached out to a senior from my law school who went in-house 2 years ago. He’s now at 7 years PQE, making around ₹40 LPA at a decent MNC, and he told me that the work-life balance is incredible. Vacations are actually disconnected, no emails. He has hobbies. Friends, family, etc., he’s in touch with everything and sleeps 8-9 hours everyday.

That said he mentioned all his batchmates are making ₹80L, ₹1 Cr+, and some already have secondaries in foreign countries. Meanwhile, he will probably top out at ₹60-70L in five years. His increments are shit as well.

He tells me that he will not recommend his path to anyone because if anyone can survive the grind for even 10 years and make partner or counsel, they’re set for life- financially and reputation-wise.

He told me that he’s just not in that race anymore, you know? But he’s too happy to be a bystander to join back in but doesn’t wish it on me. In his words, I can strive to be at a level where he could not and I should not join him in the stands but keep running.

And now I’m more confused than ever.

I’m miserable. I’m failing at my job. My mental health is in shambles and my physical health isn’t far behind.

But this senior who seems genuinely happy is telling me that I’d be an idiot to follow his path because I’d be leaving money on the table and capping my career growth?

What do I do?

Choice is between money and mental health. If the latter is your preference, you'll still be able live a pretty decent life in an in-house setup. I'm a PA1 at a T1 firm. I've been desperately hunting for some inhouse role, can't find any at my experience. I'm willing to go for a paycut upto 30-40%, still there's barely any option for me. I would strongly recommend, if you want mental health just go for that inhouse role. It doesn't matter what your batchmates will be making at your level down the line. It gets tougher when you have a family and your kid expects to see you before he goes to bad. Unfortunately, it's mostly the weekends when he gets to see/play with his dad. T1 life is not worth the sacrifice!

I am an in-house lawyer and your In-House friend echo's my view word to word, haha. That said, I am happy in-house and dont wish to go back to a law firm, notwithstanding constant doubting (yes, there are days) this decision from time to time.

Since I have gone in-house my health has improved substantially and am personally much happier, and I am able to do all sorts of extra curricular activities.

Your senior is absolutely right. You need to buckle up and perform. All these things you are lamenting about missing will come back with a premium once you make it big.

Or you can fizz out and settle for a life of absolute mediocrity.

Just remember when you’re crying in your merc, happy people in their Honda will not look as happy to you.

Lobh ka koi ilaj nahi. If you think a law firm gets you rich, please wake up and smell the coffee - this is unsustainable rich. Picture yourself as a balding, unfit, pot-bellied 40 year old man - vis-a-vis a man who may have spent more time on his family, at the gym, flat abs, stomach, overall well-being, reduced insurance premiums and overall looking so much more handsome. Money loses its incremental value beyond a point. And spend time with your family and friends - life is short, and don't spend it miserable.

40L at 7 odd years of work experience is absolutely possible, even if it is not a given. 20L at 7 years is for the type of in-house jobs which won't suit most folks who work in good firms - there won't be any challenge or growth in these type of jobs. "In-house" isn't a monolith, there are many types of jobs, with different short and long terms prospects, both financially and in terms of what career you can build in them.

Bhai, why are you guys so gloomy, and why is everything always about "if this" or "if that"? You do not need to switch to an in-house role right away. You can simply move to a better law firm. Talk to friends and seniors from law school. Ask them about their teams, what the work is like, and how things are on their side. There are many teams where the work-life balance is not that bad. There are intense phases, but there are also better days, and in some teams you get most weekends off.

Your current team seems too toxic, so switch. Look for a better team, look for better people to work with. Sometimes, working with better people makes all the difference. Ask around and check for vacancies. If, even after moving, you still feel that you cannot continue in law-firms, then you can explore in-house roles or other options.

There are many alternatives, you only need to know where to look. Reach out to people, you will be alright.

What he is trying to say while being humble is, that he has hit a lottery. Man is earning well and gets to enjoy vacations and gets to disconnect from emails. That thing "getting to disconnect from emails for a week", I will buy that thing form a law firm for 50 L rupees, if I am earning 1 crore there. What I mean to say is, I am better off earning 50 L and enjoying my life then earning 1 crore and destroying it. But like your friend, I cannot "suggest" or "impose" this on you. I don't want to sway you. Because ultimately it is about money. And this has to come from within yourself.

Grind for one more year…. Try for a good LLM with scholarship…. Then get experience in some foreign law firm for a few years… Then move into in-house BigCorp or multilateral organisation….

While I completely agree that health is paramount, I have seen my batchmates have endured the grind that you are going through (when they would literally cry/shout/feel depressed, which lasted for the initial 6 to 7 years) and after 16 years of PQE, they have achieved good equilibrium with their health and family life alongside a very high net worth that equity partnership in biglaw generally brings.

My story - joined PSU from campus and stuck there for 16 years with very little progress/ career advancement.