I am studying in one of the top NLUs of India (not naming the nlu because I don't want to become the college gossip anymore). I have BPD and struggle a lot in college and with things that are happening at home. I also struggle a lot because I am a Dalit queer student coming from a very small town in UP. Two weeks before, the college administration informed my so-called family about my condition (glad they didn't tell them abt my sexuality), that day I was going through a major BPD trigger. I completely understand that being in college sucks. I hate how these top institutions work; the way things happened was so triggering that I don't know if I can ever step into that place again. The way friendship works in this college, no one realised how invasive living with BPD can be, and I developed this because of my trauma; it was never my fault. Home is also not a safe space. I have been taken to babas to cure my depression. I am not allowed to take medicines, and I struggle a lot at home, as much as college, and I have no one to talk to here. I feel like running away, but where? College and home are equally horrible places; I have no one to talk to, no one who can understand, no college friends except one or two. I am in urgent need of help. And yes, I have tried talking to parents abt mental health. The more I talk, the harder it will be for me here, the more mandirs and baba I will be taken to and telling abt my sexuality would not be mentally and even physically safe for me. Help.