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Late 2021, fresh off Covid, a bunch of us college folks went on a trip. A classmate who'd just made RP was two drinks down when her teams ring tone went off. She was laughing when the call came in but immediately had a panic attack and it took the rest of us to calm her down. She left the industry a few months later.
It's a toxic job and you're not at fault. Heal yourself.
Firstly, on a lighter note change the default to something cheerful sounds. On every device. Sounds silly but the difference is that its intentional. You also stop jumping when other folks phones buzz. Making the buzz different. Its also some form of control you exert back in a life where you have little control. You need to laugh a bit when the buzzer does buzz. Your work is not that serious.
Second, you need to destress. Try to get as much of a physical workout in as possible. Also I cannot stress on how you must cultivate a friends circle outside. Those in office are not your friends. They will sell you out for a bag of crisps. They wait till there is no use for you. So make friends beyond the law or law firms. So, basically, go outside a bit and live outside a bit.
Third, see a doctor and a shrink. This is the beginning of anxiety issues and BP issues. This will translate quickly into physical issues. Do this early - even if you feel alright about it. Many people put this away. If you have family nearby - make time to bond with them on weekends, if you like kids - the better.
Fourth, don't shop or browse the internet.
Start a hobby using your hands instead. It will focus your brain. A good way is to intentionally start eating food cooked by you. Cooking also gets you to take care of your health and usually if you dont go overboard - budget friendly. Lots of good advice around cooking and eating healthy if you know where to look. Main upside, you are doing something for yourself. A treat for yourself. A reward. Its a bit of self love that will go a long way. It tells you why attending those buzzes is helping you live better.
Good luck.
Or “OMG I hope that’s not another new assignment. Can’t I take a two-minute breather?”
How do I destress?