Hello everyone, I am an A0 in a supposedly Tier 1 practice area in a multidisciplinary firm. I have completed 2 months here as of now, and I feel completely defeated and lost. Here's how I have lost my will and succumbed to being a robot.

I received this job as a PPO, and I am very grateful, even now and always, that I received this job in these adverse market conditions. I, as a fresher, was very excited to work here and learn. Although the pay is not competitive with its peers, it is said to be one of the best in the practice area. I started my work in July and got allotted to a team where the partner (let's use 'they/them' for gender neutrality) directly deals with A0s. Even better, right? What a great opportunity to learn from the master of the craft itself! But god, was I delusional.

I started off with no introduction, no greetings, no efforts to make me feel inclusive or different. I was dropped in between transactions, and the partner directly gave me work to draft transactional documents or research on the niche, which were often out of the scope of the practice area, because the client demanded so. I was answerable to the partner directly, as they were the person who gave me the work in the first place, which also included sitting through client meetings and taking notes. I thought, Isn't it great to have such exposure at such an early stage. But things started to get real. Partner expected the work to be of perfection, irrespective of whether I had any background in the work or the subject itself. The expectation mismatch brought doubt in my skills and basic things.

Partner spends 12-14 hours daily working, so am I expected to do so. Partner spends Saturdays and Sundays working and attending client calls, so am I expected to do so. The partner does not believe in my work; they spend time redoing the work I spent time on. They naturally spend 1/4th of the time I took to complete the work. I spend most of the time observing them work or doing unproductive work which will be redone by them. They will give me work at the end of the day, which is expected to be submitted tomorrow morning. I started burning the midnight oil, having 4 hours of sleep and falling sick.

I think this as a fee to learn what no one else at my level can experience or learn. The work is great, in fact, exceptional. But I have started doubting myself, am I even made for the law field, though I was among the top 20 during law school? I have given up on meeting any friends and families whom I love beyond anything and making weekend plans. I had various hobbies, but I stopped pursuing them, as my day consists of work and sleep. I told myself I need to give sufficient time; it would get better once I catch up with their pace, but I don't see anyone leading their life in any different manner in the office. Am I wrong in feeling exhausted in 2 months? Am I wrong in wanting to have life outside the office? Am I wrong to give time to my loved ones?

No, your feelings are completely valid and rational. A person cannot survive without a work-life balance but at the same time, I believe that since it has only been two months since you joined, you need to give this profession a chance and wait for some weeks/months and if this problem persists, switching could be option but the truth be told, this profession demands long hours.

Fun fact - While most people may say that working with XYZ partner is a great learning opportunity, it can also be the worst thing to happen to an A0. Why?

Because your partner has gone through so many tough situations professionally, they/ them is most likely desensitised by now and will do anything/ everything to get a deal done. They are used to working with senior colleagues, so they will expect same level of work and commitment from you. Whereas you will not be able to deliver as need to slowly get used to the work environment and grasp context of various new matters. Your partner is in Season 10, you’re in Season 1. If you try to cram it like an exam, you’ll HATE the TV series. Also, burnout.

Solution: try to find a buffer. On any matter, work with SA so they can protect you from partners expectations. Or if there is no one and it’s just you and the partner on the matter, record all your calls/ write down questions, and then ask some other colleague on different matter, your basic legal doubts. Dont ask the partner questions no matter how much they say they are approachable. If you have to ask questions, ask them strategic questions, which show that you understand the matter, and you are predicting next steps in the matter.

You’re young, you have hobbies. You want a life outside work - you absolutely deserve it. Then why are these senior lawyers so against it/ or why do they seem to work 14 hours even on Sat/ Sun? Commitment to work? Sure, but also….

Both of you are at different stages. You’ve just moved to a new city. You’re finally earning money and not having to ask your parents permission to go out or get pocket money. You are excited about new beginnings and you want to try out the cafés serving tiramisu or visit the upscale sushi place. You want to live your life and you should.

For your law firm partner, they/ them have already done that, and by the time you hit your mid 30s, even though you have all the money in the world, you have lost the excitement to go out and do stuff. As an ambitious, hard working person, what do they do then? They stay in and focus on the work. Because that keeps them busy, gives them a sense of progress in life and gets them appreciation from colleagues.

Point is - Don’t give up on your hobbies. They make life worth living. If you work 24 x 7, Work will suck up your time. So try to join local gym or community and meet new people who aren’t lawyers and who don’t live in such distorted realities.