Throughout law college and my career, I have struggled with the idea of a career as a legal professional.

I love the philosophy behind the law, but not the ugliness with which it is practiced.

I love the ideas of law that forms the basic elements of a post-enlightenment civic society, but not the presence of contract attorneys in the market - who hack and master their way through tricks and formulas and reduce the job of a draftsman to that of a clerk proficient in English and legalese.

I love the ideas of justice and institutional role towards nation building and developing a civic attitude for a futuristic society but hate the fact that the procedural laws are seen more as strategic modalities to be exploited to shift perceptions in the eyes of the judiciary, than a genuine attempt at resolving disputes.

I love the idea of aiding just and fair outcomes, but grudge the fact that those who need it the most cannot afford to pay in the least bit at all and I cannot expect the matrix of societal expectations to truly deliver there. Moreover, the influence of police and their disregard for police procedures, and their nexus with politicians completely corrupt the ultimate outcomes - which make me lose heart in even taking the first step.

I thought I'd love arbitration, but the way the courts continue to interfere and because of the fact that for 20 odd years, so many litigations arose merely because the darned 1996 Act was shoddily drafted without clarifying difference between seat and venue, I cannot avoid thinking this way - that vested interests craft laws and legislations designed to benefit existing privileges - so there's a political economy behind it, and not the heart to produce just outcomes.

I thought I'd love teaching, but the nightmarish stories of students stressed in the chase of high paying jobs, and burdened under high college fees influencing them to disregard study of law in a leisurely manner (that helps in deeper absorption), and the administrative burdens and mindless pressures of research intensity suck out all the joy that I could envision in it.

I want to be associated with law, but how do I?

There is no path of least resistance here. It is a journey of our adulthood to recognise the distance between the ideal and its practice in every domain/profession. It is through ambition, discipline, and humility that we get started with what we have come to do here, even when surrounded by indifference and corruption. You do your best, you meet a few good souls who complement your ethical and professional sensibilities, and together you build a legacy of achievement and excellence, no matter how modest your circumstances may be. And then you leave this grand experiment called human life, perhaps a little doubtful if you have really improved the world from as it was before your arrival. But because you lived the good life, honoured the right virtues, encouraged the gentle over the cruel, and upheld your side of the ethical bargain, you leave with no regrets. You may doubt whether the world is a better place but you will never doubt the worth of your own deeds. Because that is the confidence that comes from having lived a life of integrity and excellence.

I wish you the best in your journey, comrade.