Hey LI users,

Hope you are doing well. As most of you all would either be seniors in college or graduates from it, I wanted to ask a question I fear has grappled me and been a source of stress and downfall for me in past. I have seen rumours being spread about people and friend groups being broken and formed in the blink of an eye in law schools. I come from a small town in North india with no one in family or friends circle in law, I alone took this decision of doing law and cleared clat and ailet both.

I have a very people pleasing personality and I have been used or betrayed in past many times from friends which has lead me to form abandonment and fomo issues. These traits I fear would make my life much harder in law school as there would be people from all walks and opinions of life and i would just be left trying to mingle with everyone while not having a voice of own and a nobody, or, if I try to socialise too much with everyone I would be seen as annoying, or getting ignored if I try to say my points or while making friends. See, my fears might sound irrelevant but please give tips on how to not care about these things and just focus on academics and protecting my mental health in college. It would be a lot of help.

Thank you :)

In life and in academics, do that which you find enjoyable and stimulating. What gives you pleasure will also make you sincere in doing it. When you come across someone with similar tastes, then you may join their company for the same. A relationship founded on passion and interest is more likely to be fruitful and intellectually adventurous than a relationship that arises from a moment of envy or jealousy. Even so, not every relationship premised on shared interests or admiration will last forever. But it will have contributed to your education and will have made of you of a better person by clarifying what you really want out of life and what you expect from others. To wit, the fear of missing out on something or someone is actually a fear of not knowing who we are, what we want to do, and who we seek to meet. Hence the anxiety of seeing others and thinking that they already know who they are and what and who they want. But that is an illusion of our youth. They are as uncertain as you. Embrace the uncertainty. For it is the depth of what you feel that truly matters and not how many feelings you have. Follow your own calling and you will not be led astray by others. When you cultivate a virtue of your own by asking yourself what you seek in yourself, you will have the confidence to exercise judgement upon others, the will to say no when you must, and the freedom to say yes when you wish.

All the best, dear fellow. And please never hesitate to seek advice from here or from anyone whose judgement you trust.