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Between managing professional commitments (i.e. matters, client retention and business development) and personal life a vast majority of partners (paid and equity) don’t really have the time or inclination to “expect” anything other than good work product from their teams. The same holds true for principal associates and to an extent senior associates.
It almost appears that you have a rather self inflated sense of self worth i.e. you feel that professionals at work have a lot of time to spare to track your lifestyle and dictate the choices that you must make. From your post, it is rather clear that you are rather dismissive about what you perceive to be lifestyles your colleagues may have. When pointing fingers, remember that three point back at you.
My sincere advice to you, focus on the work and not judging others.
I believe what the OP meant is that he/ she has probably seen lot of people on Instagram spending money and posting about eating out at fancy places, but he/ she probably doesn’t align with that lifestyle, so is worried whether they will fit into such a group of high spenders
There are a few teams where the partner is a young nut-job with very weird fantasies who would want the associates to treat the team at the most expensive places
When you are on your own, nobody cares what you do and where you spend on.
If you are with a client, then charge the matter as BD expense.