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I'm scared. People talk about college friends lasting you a lifetime, and even though I do have friends, and am generally liked in my batch, I feel lonely. People's groups are where they settle and stay in. I don't have anyone right now. I'm scared that I'm also not making connections properly.
How friendly are people at law firms? Are there any friend worthy people present there?
Any stories for the same?
Law firms aren't like that. It's a little more professional and I would say better as everyone finally is in the same boat and understands social dynamics and maturity is a bit more. Of course there is politics and stuff but you will find a few people who you can chill with and have a genuinely chill time both at and outside work.
I know it's easy to say but you are exactly where you are meant to be and things will settle in soon so don't worry about it! Keep focusing on your interests and yourself and you'll attract what you sow. Hope this helps
You mentioned that you have friends and that you're liked in your batch. That’s a solid foundation. Sometimes, it just takes a little longer to find the people who really get you. You don’t have to have your “best friend” right now. College friendships often grow in unexpected ways, and as you continue your journey, you’ll find people who align with your values, interests, and vibe.
As for law firms — don’t worry! Law firms can be surprisingly friendly. It’s a competitive environment for sure, but most places value collaboration, and you’ll find that the people there, especially when you start working closely on projects, are more than just colleagues. You’ll meet a lot of people from different walks of life, and some of those connections can definitely turn into lasting friendships.
A lot of law professionals have close, almost family-like relationships with colleagues, especially when you’ve worked long hours together, gone through the grind of tough cases, and celebrated wins. Friendships at law firms often come from shared experiences, whether it’s late-night research, difficult clients, or just having a chat over lunch. So yes, there are definitely “friend-worthy” people out there in the legal world — you just have to give it time.
Also, keep in mind that friendships don’t always happen in big groups. Sometimes, it’s the small, meaningful connections with a few people that last for a lifetime. Focus on being your authentic self, and you’ll attract people who appreciate that. You’ve got this — the right friendships, both in college and later in law firms, will find their way to you.
Lastly, it’s perfectly okay to have periods of feeling lonely or unsure. They are just phases, and they pass. You’re growing, and that can be uncomfortable sometimes, but it’s also the precursor to amazing things. Just trust the process and stay open to connections, whether big or small. You’ll get there.
4 years into the profession. At a HC Bar which will consider me, a first-gen with NO connections whatsoever, a 'junior' for a long, long time.
Advice:
1. No one us going to look out for you. One's parents don't really, how can we expect that from others?
2. Treat people 'okay'. Don't be $#itty to them, but don't put them on a pedestal either. Treat them 'meh'.
3. Do not get attached
People lie, people will lie about having your best interests at heart. Newsbreak: they don't.
4. You'll make connections in the profession, not friends. Everyone is competing for those limited resources.
5. I don't know if you're a cut throat person. If not, be prepared to face such people. Hence the advice against getting attached. Non-attachment will protect your peace to an extent when you're eventually betrayed by someone you thought you could trust.
6. If possible, try and develop a mean streak. I am still learning, but not very successful at that. You have time, use it wisely.
Story Time:
A. I was, what I thought, friends with someone. The individual I thought of as my closest friend is one of the two children of a big shot at my State HC's Principal Bench. Mind you, this status of the said individual made no difference to me, because I incorrectly thought that the said individual trusted merit and true heartfelt friendship.
B. The said individual and their then steady date (now, spouse), and I were thick as thieves; or so I thought. I was significantly better at academics and mooting than the aforesaid individual.
C. The individual and their then date betrayed me in the worst way possible, by removing all traces of months of work I had done on the college's national event. Portrayed me as an incompetent slacker. The faculty knew the truth, but from a business perspective, the big-shot's kid was coddled, treated pretty at my cost.
D. MORAL
Don't trust anyone. Especially if they're from this profession.