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1. My PhD is not going well. I've already invested 2 years into it, have a very good supervisor and doing it from one of the best places in India. Yet, not much progress yet due to several reasons- mainly because I had to take up the job due to lack of funding.
2. Job Dissatisfaction: There isn't any satisfaction in the job I'm currently doing at the same place I'm doing my PhD. Students, staff or faculty don't give a shit about us, have to come in vacations and the work we do often feels very redundant. Researching on mundane topics, TAing, helping in organizing seminars- can't see practical relevance of most of it.
3. No moving up in the hierarchy - I've applied for AP positions at many places, including the place where I work. Somehow, they've preferred people with 0 experience with Oxbridge over me, who has about 5 years of Research Experience. I just feel stuck here, by the time I'll pass the PhD and have a good API score, I'll be 35 and then someone may take me for an entry level position.
4. Actual Imposter: There's imposter syndrome and then there's actual imposters. When I read papers in constitutional, international or human rights law, my writing feels very uninspiring. What's the point of producing boring papers that nobody's gonna read.
5. Finally, I'm ready to slog 13-14 hours in litigation, at least some result may come out of it. At the age of 35, I may start earning as much or more than an AP, while living in my hometown. What's the point of living thousands of miles away in a place you don't relate to and can never call a home.