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For the record I identify as one. Divorced parents, bullying by classmates at school, getting picked on by teachers, toxic abusive household, rare incurable genetic condition, no real friends or partner, loneliness, shitty grades, scopeless and hopeless college, rejections from internships, jobless graduate, no personality, pessimism and no money to afford therapy. Those are some of my reasons for identifying as a loser. Each day I wonder when will all this come to an end.. I don't wanna live like this. Infact no one should live like this.
I don't know what I'm trying to achieve with this post anymore. writing this at 3:30 am...when all normal people are sleeping.
Or are you people normal? Or you also have these thoughts?
I will try to help you out. Please join my discord server and message me there. We will sort everything out.
Don’t feel alone as I too am in the same boat as you, just that I am still in law school and have not graduated yet.
Link of the server:
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(link redacted, is a 404 link)
Do reply back in case you’re unable to join. I will find any other method to invite you elsewhere. :)
Do what you must if this doesn't resonate with you.
The thing is- these feelings arent actually important. However much we might feel them. It actually doesnt matter if we're losers. It only matters if we go out everyday and try and do better and try and be of use to other people. thats the whole damn game.
I suggest you embrace the idea that it actually doesn’t matter if you do think you’re a loser. All that matters is what you do in the real world to help other people.
Everything feels pretty hollow and numbed. The one thing I guess keeps me going is the responsibility of a family and the fact that if I have suffered so long, might as well continue to see what else can happen.
"If you can tolerate fear and doubt and loneliness… Winning would like a word with you." - Tim Grover
btw, this is the best advice anyone could have ever possibly given
1. Participation Certificate: Just think facing tough times in life as an act to receive participation certificates. The purpose is just to make it through. You don't have to be outstanding, personal best etc. You have to just make it through. You can't give up on the struggle. Do what you are supposed to do. Drag yourself but do it. You need not hit a six for its not a full toss, its okay to have a dot-ball. Just don't stop playing. Your future self would thank you for this.
2. It's not the time to dream big. Don't dream anything: Have a small plan. Try to achieve it. Create a task for the day and live one day at a time.
3. Be grateful for what you have: Sounds cliche I know. But as Sadguru says (no, I am not his Bhakt, but he is right on this) all our problems exist just in our minds. You learn to convince the mind and most things are sorted. A doctor who worked for international humanitarian organisation said that I have seen so much suffering that I don't see my problems as anything. Watch the goatlife movie or other movies on oppression and suffering, look at the lives of various people with disabilities someone like Nick Vujicic. Friend, there are thousands of people who don't have any limbs and living their everyday life and making it through.
You talked about rare genetic incurable disease, I have a permanent disability which took away the profession that I loved, and God-forbid would force me to be single forever (the latter on a serious note). But then I look at all things I can do: see this beautiful world through my eyes, nature, I can walk, talk, hear Arijit Singh, etc etc. There are so many things that I have to be grateful then what I don't have or messed up to be sad. Disclaimer: disabled people like me are not bicharas. They too are happy, sad and normal most of the time.
Lastly, if you are into reading: read the book of job (this is poetry so a bit boring), and victor frankl's man search for meaning. (Not the typical cliche work, I promise).
Also, when you come out of all this don't forget to be empathetic towards people who are going through tough times. That's what I gained out of all this: I stopped judging people as inferior and useless. It burnt away my pride and arrogance.
Feeling very low and depressed. Going to reach out to recruiters and firms who hopefully understand my situation. Is there anyone else like me? I remember reading about an A0 who was fired from CAM/SAM due to practice area rotations.