I have tried to make friends/exchange pleasantaries with seniors, juniors, partners etc. None of them acknowledge me as a human being whereas another bootlicking associate might invite them for a smoke (I don't smoke or drink), or at a party, etc, they'll gladly go along with them. Its ridiculous how often this happens. And now this associate often tries to make me look stupid in front of them. he's friendly around me, but suddenly he'll completely change his behaviour if someone from the team is near. Granted, I don't have his conversational skills or his attitude (of a dick tbh, but apparently that's appreciated not condemned in T1s). I'll invite them for a fun board game night at my place but they'll make up shit or ditch at the last second. This genuinely makes me feel like there's something wrong with me despite trying to be in everyone's good books. Am i wrong in thinking like this? Or is it the culture?

It's okay. Like the other poster said, start being comfortable in your own company. I'm in law school and just like you I don't drink/smoke/go out on fancy dinners/trips. you get the drift right. Understand that such people don't want to be in your company because it makes them feel bad about their bad choices and the fact that you don't partake in their drama makes them mad because you are violating their sense of security by being confident in your own skin. Try to find a partner who can see right through the bullshit that goes around in such offices and try to solidify your relationship with them. That is how mentors are found.

I don't mean to sound negative. With all due respect. Accept it or not soft skills like networking and making and maintaining relationships is all the profession is all about, you'll have to work on the social anxiety if you want to poach clients in the future. Remember you're not going to stay an associate forever. Or maybe you will because of a weak link?

You can write with more empathy, you know.

To the OG poster - I am PA in a T1.

This field is not just for extroverts. Don't buy that stuff which they are selling. Good clients can see the stuff from the faff. So can good colleagues. Unfortunately, this country is all about hierarchy and some people behave like they are in high school. They are not networking - they are making cliques to survive.

Often commonalities bind people together, but its piss poor behaviour if they talk down to you. They will all be sober like you down the road. Use the advantage of being sober by getting real good at something else - it's an advantage.

You don't have an inferiority complex. You are being picked on by someone who is two-faced. Avoid that person - please do not try to fit in beyond necessary. Make your tribe. If that person tries to chase your attention - tell him exactly - "I understand what you are doing." Keep it cryptic. Don't explain further. They will spin in their head. You would have paid well on your gut instincts.

Good luck and don't be afraid.