I am normal NLU student, and seeing all these posts about work culture in law firms made me wonder if the two things that I desire: family and having a successful career are at opposite ends and almost against each other.

Is it possible to have a normal family life while working in a tier-1 firm?

If I want to start a family early (27-30Years Old), will I be able to do so while working?

Are there any present examples from whom I can take inspiration from? Are there parents who are able to be home by 6PM and spend time with their kids?

I just genuinely want to know what life looks like it and the possibilities it has. Don’t want it to be thread about people bashing each other for the choices, but rather present the choices available for those entering the field:)

I think this is a very relevant question that very few students think about while in college, and frankly, very few associates think of in the first few years.

Let me share with you my anecdotal observations, having graduated from a T1 NLU and worked in a T1 firm (General Corporate):

- Most people get married after becoming SA, which is in 4-5 years. Switching firms, taking sabbaticals, having exceptionally busy years is not uncommon.

- If you unfortunately land up in teams where availability has to be 24x7 which means working most weekends, being at your desk at 9 pm and 10 pm on a regular basis, dating or even spending quality time with people outside of work will be difficult. There are far too many teams like this.

- You will be surrounded by DINKs and people who are having kids only after becoming a partner. Therefore, people may be less empathetic towards people “choosing” to have kids at a younger age of 27-30.

- This is compounded by the fact that work in law firms is client-service and demand driven and people operate on very short timelines. The lower you are in the hierarchy, the more you are required to be flexible with your availability, as your Counsel / PA / Partner’s priorities, conflicts and deadlines will largely be accommodated over yours.

- There is a very steep learning curve the first 6 years, and you are not the master of your own time. It’s doable to try to fit in a gym routine or occasional doctors appointment or dinner plans, but much harder devoting chunks of your time to your young family.

- Instead of an accommodative workplace, you might find yourself amongst toxic partners who discourage you from having any commitment that takes you away from being available to work, on a sustained basis.

Long story short, it’s an uphill battle and most people prefer to manage work from an in-house or smaller firm. Note, that this doesn’t automatically guarantee better work life balance or hours.

What you can do, is grind it out for a couple of years for the learnings and then see if you are able to make time for having a family. If not, look for a place where your bosses and peers also have families and as a matter of culture, stop by 6 pm unless things are urgent.

You will discover that you can’t have it all, but if you prioritise something, you will find a way.

I am sure a lot of incoming A0s, like me, wonder if after 12 hours of working everyday, sacrificing weekends, will there be some days where things are a little easier? Some weekends that are off? A doctor's appointment or a day off once in 3-4 months? A couple of days off once a year for some important family function or emergency?

I genuinely want to know if even this is too much to ask for in T1 firm.

Little known secret, almost everyone manages to have “time off” whether officially or unofficially, during slow phases or just asking for more flexibility with deadlines when possible so you can catch a break. People do travel on long weekends, attend weddings, family events but probably don’t wish to announce it to the team and make a big deal about it.

Often times the ones who are most vocal about availability and not taking breaks (PAs, Partners) will be juggling their breaks. Complete switch off is difficult unless you are on a long leave with transition cover or have let everyone know about your limited availability/ weekend travel plans.

In your early years, you can make it easier for yourself by:

- doing work as soon as it is assigned rather then when it’s due, if it’s assigned during reasonable hours

- work sincerely at least 6-7 hours a day, without long breaks, preferably in the morning because things tend to be less likely to be due EOD if they are assigned post 5 pm

- upward management is key, if your supervisor works 8 am - 5 pm you know when you will be expected to be available to discuss, if they work 3 pm - 11 pm it will be different

- with time you will be able to identify client, partner and supervisor patterns. I had a partner who expected acknowledgement emails and confirmation that someone is working on it ASAP, seniors who had no intention of reviewing a draft DD report till 2 weeks later but wanted you to finish the first cut overnight, clients who wanted a memo ASAP but would get around to it in 2-3 days and then keep changing the scope

People come on these platform to share their frustrations, not share how and when do they take their time off.