I'm a student in a decent NLU, almost done with my second semester and so far I have a good reputation in my batch. I've got good grades as well and my academic life is doing fine.

Been trying for some competitions here and there but tough luck so far however, there's one major problem that I've been facing since joining university.

I've become a person with no personality. I've left my obsession with watching anime, web series, and video games, something that was my life before I decided to prepare for class. I read some books here and there but that's like 5-6 books (outside of curriculum) a semester. The tight schedule in our uni prevents me from working out a lot or playing any sport for a lot of time. 8-10k steps a day at most.

I look at the ceiling fan or my Instagram feed for the whole day and wonder if there's anything to my personality other than being a clown and an academic validation seeker. I'm friends with almost everyone but I dislike almost all of them from the bottom of my heart (people here hate you and act like you're buddies since childhood). I tried making meaningful friendships but I'm unable to attach or bond with anyone I've met so far. I've a girlfriend back in my hometown but I don't want to impose myself on her 24/7.

Is there anyone who had a similar situation and healthily tackled such issues? So far all I believe is that it's a part of growing up and I should just man up and face it. I'm considering visiting the university counsellor but do I even have a problem to begin with?

I’ve been facing something very similar. I constantly feel alone, despite being around a lot of people. I’ve failed to make more than 1/2 real friendships in uni and its bugging me now (in my final year lol). So ya, i think you should try to remedy it rn, or else it’ll eat you up later

Yes you should definitely visit the counsellor. Loss of personality is a earlysign of clinical depression - along with things like spending lots of time staring at the ceiling fan and scrolling mindlessly. It creeps up on you very silently. at least you have noticed it which is good. please get some assistance and in some time you will hopefully be able to revive your personality.

Firstly, it is good that you are in a good nlu and that you are on good terms with everyone. Thats a good place to be in. keep your grades up but I dont think that is the problem here but just wanted to make sure that you know that that's the most imp thing here.

Secondly, I have DEFINITELY been through/going through the same my whole college and career. The feeling of not being able to connect with anyone like you are at a show where you can only spectate but never participate. Been there. I will tell you two things to do -

1. firstly make sure that you are open to connect with people. go out there and join clubs or take part in things you like, make sure to sign up for every fest oc or any oc tbvh. Make sure you are increasing your surface area to the max. THIS is the time where you if your stars are good meet your best friends in college. Do this and try to be open to people. Be the person to make plans and be the person who takes the first initiative.

2. Now if this is not working out there might two things - either firstly, you are fundamentally at odds with people who are in your profession or in your college. That would mean that maybe the type of personality and interest you carry is not suitable for this path. You might want to also meet people from other colleges to make sure its not a college problem. if that still persists - it might be a career misalingment problem and you might want to seek another party/field/interest

or maybe the problem is inside. A long time of therapy has showed me how there is an internal barrier between me making friends and feeling connected. You might also want to go to therapy FOR SURE if it has come to this

Lastly, I know you did not want advice on this and please ignore this if you want. Having a gf back home has never worked out for any of the tens of people tha I know. Not because yall dont love each other but because yall are defo in diff phases of life and in diff env and diff growth speed. I am not telling this to scare you. I am telling you this cus you MUST make sure that you are good without her, that you ahve friends, hobbies, interests, goals and a support system in your college without her.

cheers - best of luck