I (F23)really need someone to advise me. I was in a top50 clg. I am currently getting rejections from all corp law firms. I am interested in corp law. But the prblm is that, I panic in interviews and dont see myself as worthy of getting any job honestly. I am from English medium, born and brought up in tier1 city, still I see that batchmates from villages and non-english mediums and from poorer backgrounds have outdone me. i have extreme imposter syndrome, when i go for interviews, the recruiters tells me I have trouble making eye contact, trouble answering directly if I dont know the answer and i constantly beat around the bush instead of answering in short , concise, precise answers. I have trouble answering legal questions and im not able to remember provisions correctly, i always say wrong section numbers, and sometimes I dont even know which popular section number does what. I have very less substantial work experience, I thought i wont get selected anyways so I didnt apply for more internships, i know i was stupid. when i look at the intricately drafted posts that ppl make here, i get more overwhelmed. IDK wat to do about my panic and anxiety attacks. i have a very mediocre CV. the places i interned at, always shouted me for not having good quality in my work, but i tried hard and wasnt able to improve. idk how to improve, i tried all the tricks in self help bks. the whole day i'm not even talking to any frnds or family and only working on myself-still I cant get work done. i get distracted and dont have focus and i'm not able to complete 1 task till the end.

IDK how ppl in my clg were able to constantly intern, score high grades, publish in intl journals, be core members of committees, complete cs and also maintain long term lovers and deep frndships. i never ever got any one of that.

i get no respect in my house due to family thinking that i'm a failure, my siblings have all started from bottom by themselves and r now on the top in their respective fields. I was forced in the legal profession by my family, but i never got any help from them. i have now gone in a spiral depression and dont even have a single frnd, no matter how hard i reach out to anyone from my batch.

if anyone who's non judgemental and above average person who manages time properly; can give me a throwaway email to contact them, I would like to ask basic questions that i'm too afraid to ask IRL due to my fears. pls contact me - txtwing@gmail.com

I don't think you have any issue other than your lack of self confidence which may be caused or aggravated by depression. You sound like you are perfectly capable and employable, there seems to be nothing wrong there.

For the confidence issues/depression, please see a therapist or counsellor. They have techniques and tools to help you based on the details of your situation. As someone who has been there and recovered, it helps. All the best.

See, it's never too late to start afresh. I know it sounds too tough a task, but hear me out: After the pandemic, I was admitted to a psych ward. Last year, I had job offers from almost every place I'd interned with. (Which is not to discount my privileges of having access to meds, therapy, T1 NLU tag & spectacular friends who helped me every step of the way, but the point is: with the right help, it can still be done; you still CAN get up.) So my simple advice is: start from scratch. For your mental health, go to PsychologyIndia & find a clinical psychologist with experience in handling work-related stress, depression, and anxiety. Also go to a good psychiatrist & stick with the medication.

For the legal part of it, you need to swallow the hard pill that there's nothing called a 'Top50 college' for employers; if you're not in the top 10-15 they consider as decent, they'll be keen to not hire you. Demand & supply of law grads is sadly at that stage in India, and given the pathetic quality of teaching at most colleges, you can only blame employers so much. As such, don't be too harsh on yourself because you never truly had the formal opportunity to learn & get better.

That said, you can still take control of your life by actually reading up on everything related to everything on your CV & preparing 30 second explanations for each of the tasks in writing. Once you're through with that & actually know your shit properly, you'll simply gain more confidence on speaking about it. Do it point by point & see the difference. You can also take help from various people running a business of helping you prep for legal interviews, just google or search on Linkedin. Similarly on starting from the scratch, buy good courses on core subjects like company law, contract law, SEBI law, arbitration, CPC etc - ideally from organisations that pair up with law firms' L&D teams (eg: MyLearn), do their research tasks religiously, and allow yourself to make mistakes. Once you get a good understanding of a subject, try writing pinpointed articles on it & get it reviewed by any lawyers you know — see law firm-run blogs for reference. When you get a good publication, attach that along with a finessed cover letter written under the guidance of said people for assessment applications at consistently better places. Once you get to doing all of that & actually get assessments, remind yourself that a fresher is not expected to have practical knowledge; we all mostly learn that on the go. So, it's perfectly alright to ask for feedback consistently & specifically till you gain enough clarity — also consider sending working drafts to seniors who've assigned you the work to avoid wasting your time on wrong work products. You'll be surprised by how insanely this simple practice turns around your work quality.

If you do all of this for even 3-4 months, I'm sure that you'll develop a sense of 'I'm getting there' in your knowledge, and that will in itself give you a huge confidence boost & make you feel happier. If you consistently incorporate those feedbacks into your work & better your research skills for a whole year while consistently applying to better places, I'm sure that you'll land yourself a fairly well-paying job & put yourself in line for growth & progress all over your career. It can be done. All the best!

my view is that your depression may be related to the fact that you have chosen the wrong profession. Law is a profession that is very hard to crack into, because it is filled with nepotism and corruption. Furthermore, the lack of liberalisation means that it does not offer as many job opportunities as other sectors. So my advice would be to consider an alternative career. An MBA is always a handy degree. Another career you can think about is academia perhaps.

be sincere makes notes...ik it sounds like a regular advice but it matters a lot. moreover try to understand the psychology of the teacher, and try to write what they want from you. dont sit for last day. atleast start preparing 10-15 days before exams. dont compare yourself with others, whether they are studying or not. just try to do what is right for you.

focus on your answer writing, handwriting matters a lot. Make some diagrams or graph to represent the facts, make the answer more lengthy. Underline the keywords in your answer, also use blackpen/pencil in your paper, along with blue.

I know these are very small things, and it may sound childish. But these tips can make a huge difference. Always look from the perspective of a teacher, out of 60 copies, they can't just read everything, if you make the task easy for them that means there is a right impression. There will bleak scope of marks deduction.

To OP:

You must accept the current scenario that you may not be the best qualified for a corporate law job. Please look for a good female mentor in litigation. Assist your mentor in client meetings, research, drafting, filing and court appearances. Your confidence levels, eye contact, body language, knowledge, etc., will all improve month by month. Your mental health too.