Basically the title. I've observed that a lot of people in this industry seem to rely on substances. I don't want to engage in these things but almost everyone around me relies on these things to socialize etc. I feel like this would affect my career prospects because I'm not 'modern enough'. I felt so awkward and left out when I went out for a team outing and almost everyone was drinking like there was no tomorrow. I'm a woman and I have observed that fellow women who smoke and drink are often seen as part of the pack, while people like me are seen as too uppity, too formal or uptight or in general as someone who does not know how to have fun. What should I do to not get bothered by these things? People will mostly not say anything to you to your face, but it becomes pretty evident that you are being percieved in a different light than others.

Law is the most pretentious of all professions. People will smoke and drink just because it looks cool in the movies. I dont smoke but I do accompany colleagues who smoke just to go for a walk and stretch my legs and have a short chat lol. Don't smoke just to fit in, you can fit in without smoking too (although you might have to smoke passively in the process lol).

Correct. They take up smoking to copy celebs. In the case of girls, as OP says, it's seen as cool, but it's actually cringe. They are trying to be wannabe Bella Hadids, who herself is a wannabe. There are celebs who have 1000 times the talent than her who don't smoke, such as Billie Ellish and Zendaya.

Non smoker/ non drinker here. (M)

This resonates me too. I’ve noticed the easiest way for people to fit in is to pick up a glass of wine and instantly feel part of the “cultured” or “elite” group. Won’t say every drinker is pretentious though. Lot of people just had a hectic day, and they are looking to wind down/ get immediate relief by downing some drinks. Also, the drinks lobby has probably spent million of dollars in marketing to convince us that - drinking is the most adult and acceptable way to wind down when you have a high paying serious corporate job.

I’m thinking of opening an anti smoker lawyer club. Will drop merch like anti social social club. Thinking of hosting parties/ having a community for sober people. Will have same music and same vibe, but will just replace alcohol with non- alcoholic drinks. I mean Why should drinkers have all the fun?

Fun fact: The drinking trend has hugely picked up in India, whereas abroad lot of people are moving away from drinking.

https://www.axios.com/2023/07/29/mocktails-non-alcoholic-sober-bar

https://apnews.com/article/sober-bars-no-alcohol-bars-fd1204932488adda0909ec19fcfbcd5e

Non drinkers / non smokers - let me know if there are enough of you out there for the idea to be feasible. Will try to launch something by end of the year basis responses.

Male, partner at T1 law firm. Never smoked or drank, and I don't think it has affected my professional growth. My colleagues and clients have always respected my choice to not drink and smoke, and I have not felt that I have missed out on anything professionally. However, I'm not very social, and I feel that does hinders my ability to network and in business development.

Also, from my experience, I think there is a decent number of lawyers who don't drink or smoke. It's still the minority, but enough to not feel completely left out.

Here's the corrected version:

Listen, girl, don't ever indulge yourself in drinking, smoking, etc., not even for the sake of your profession.
Make your own rules for life; life is beyond profession too. And these people are not the whole profession; they are just a part of it.

One tip: just think about it once, 'Your professional life is just a part of life, and not your whole life; life is beyond it too.'

I'm also facing exactly the same issue as you, but remember: DON'T WASTE YOUR PARENTS' HARD-EARNED MONEY ON RUINING YOUR BODY AND POLLUTING YOUR MIND!

You are brave enough that you didn't start doing so-called 'elite' stupid things. Stay Happy and Blessed! All the best!