My ex, a strong left wing feminist nut, used to very proudly say that she liked me because I was very fair (and obv Brahmin) and when she showed me to her folks one of the first things she said is - he's so fair no?

The other three Cs were non negotiables as well, for this left liberal whackjob, and many of her manhating friends too.

But the obsession with skin colour, my god. Amuses me to this day.

Most people are quite desperate tbh

you need to tick some basic boxes and you are in

Work on your looks, hygiene, how you speak, work out at the gym, make sure you have good nutrition, don't be crazy or vile, don't have a bad reputation

Its not so difficult to get a date really

If you go fishing for stories about casteism, communalism or whatever you will find that too - but thats only because you are interested in that

mostly people are just desperate because they are lonely

and english speaking college youth is a separate new caste in India which is outside all other castes

Class and complexion unconsciously and automatically attract us to others, because of social and psychological factors. People automatically feel attracted to upper class, fair skinned people, because their brain has been wired that way. Look at even Hollywood and Miss Universe: mostly white-dominated.

Caste and community are unnatural and artificial. No one is naturally attracted to a certain caste or religion.

First of all please don't troll me, so I like a girl and I think she likes me back and everyone knows that I like her even though I haven't told anyone about how I feel about her, I really like her she's a really nice person I was about to tell her how I feel but couldn't for some reason and I think I waited for a bit too long and now the school is over, now I don't what to do how to do

Decreasing order of priority that I observed at my T1 NLU in the mid 2010s:

1. Class

2. Looks/complexion whatever you want to call it

3. Community (religious)

4. Caste (depending on definition, intra-UC was not even a consideration, but UC-SC gave some pause for concern).

This has continued into social circles at T1 law firms as well. (3) becomes as important as (2) or might even replace it, and (1) is not as dominant.

One of the biggest problems/stigmas in India is that dark skin = lower caste. Cuts across all religions. A Christian classmate of mine mocked a dark-skinned Kshatriya girl by making an extremely offensive joke about her actual parentage. He made the remark in the boy's hostel, as part of typical "guy's talk", but it shows the toxic mentality.

Earlier only girls faced the brunt, but now even fair-skinned guys are valued as trophies and dark-skinned guys looked down upon, as one of the comments here says. Maybe it's because of Bollywood. SRK lightens his skin and light-skinned Punjabi actors are promoted.

I do not hook up and am not looking to get into a relationship due to the severe liabilities it entails and the high risks that are inherent (social, legal, so on).

I do not intend to marry either, for it invites even worse liabilities and risks. These are simply not prudent decisions in our current socio-legal set-up.

However, should I choose to move offshore to a country with a sensible legal system

Generally for dating these are the major factors - Looks, Height, Finances, Personality, Sense of Humour, Confidence. In the same order, without looks the next step is not considered, also women have their own standards in looks, for some an average face may clear the criteria, then next step is seen.

Let me be perfectly clear. In the intricate dance of dating within the hallowed halls of law school, one cannot afford to underestimate the significance of these four C's. These aren't mere trivialities, my friends; they are the bedrock upon which alliances are forged and destinies are sealed.

Look around you, in the corridors of power, in the bustling courtrooms of our bustling metropolises. What do you see? The shining exemplars of matrimonial success, the so-called "power couples" of the legal realm. And mark my words, they didn't ascend to their lofty positions by disregarding the importance of these factors.

Now, let's talk brass tacks. If you are from a middle or lower caste, fear not, for there exists a path to parity. But make no mistake, it demands compensation. Your wallet must sing the praises of your worth, and your visage, well, let's just say it wouldn't hurt to be easy on the eyes.

But ah, for those of higher caste pedigree, the road may seem smoother, but it is not without its toll. Wealth, whether inherited or amassed, serves as a cushion against the harsh winds of societal scrutiny. But let's not discount the importance of presentation, for even the loftiest lineage can falter in the absence of refinement.

And what of character, you may ask? A fair question, but one that pales in comparison to the weight of the aforementioned factors. It's merely the icing on the cake, a delightful bonus if you will, but hardly a prerequisite for success in the game of love and ambition.

So here we stand, in the year 2024, in the crucible of Indian society. Take heed of my words, for they bear the truth of our reality. Embrace it or reject it, but make no mistake, it is the world in which we reside.

The cities in North India are a mess when it comes to these calculations. If you belong to a middle or lower caste/community, you'll likely face various forms of discrimination. Even in cities like Delhi, inter-caste/community mingling predominantly involves those from higher castes/communities. It's wrong to think that this regressive mindset solely comes from older generations; India's hypergamous culture intertwines caste/community, which is appalling.

Am I exaggerating? Here’s a social experiment for you. Visit a marriage bureau. Pick any. Have a conversation with them. Your experience will speak for itself.

If you aren't a Brahmin, Punjabi, Sindhi, Rajput, or at most a baniya, Delhi sure as hell isn't for you. The exceptions make the norm. Wake up, smell the coffee, and quit this chutiyapa of a country.