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Point in case - due to sheer amount of work pressure (pendency and lack of quality juniors. As no pay = no quality juniors) , and utter randomness of litigation where anything can pop up from anywhere and demand late nights , the man is suffering from ADHD and does not even realize this. He Talks SOO much and makes soo many mistakes in drafts that it is shocking for me.
I inquired with older associates / junior if he has always been THIS talkative (really the man just never shuts up ! ) and the associates told me that yes , he has always been this talkative. Man is just not unable to sit still and calm her nerves down !
How does it affect me ? I was already suffering the dreaded trio of depression , anxiety and burnout with mild symptoms of ADHD . When I joined his chamber - I infected self-esteem issues (chambers can be equally , if not more toxic than law firms) due to constant gaslighting , non-mentoring and then expecting results , constant edgy competitiveness from associates , constant bootlicking . my 'mild' ADHD got 'worse' . I started to talk a lot too albeit on whatsapp , and social media . I started to post on instagram and linkedin more !
I could not hate myself more. Went cold turkey on social media. Started to meditate , deleted all past cheesy linkedin posts and comments and I can sit and concentrate now.
Lessons -
(1) most of these old boys of the Bar are insecure
(2) Most of these from Boomer Gen dont even realize how to manage emotions and don't even realize that their mental health is 'fuc-ed'
(3) They suffer from scarcity mindset
(4) Never join any person who is not emotionally / mentally stable especially if you yourself are struggling.