I'm 30 years old. Still living with parents. Don't have a job due to year gap. Trying for competitive exams. Can't crack any. Managed to get masters degree. Now trying for SET and NET. However for the past few years, continuously giving exams and failing each one of them is taking a toll. I'm a first gen lawyer and litigation was not getting any results, no work. Law firms won't hire me, plus I don't want to be a corporate slave. I like teaching, trying my hand at that but it's too much with the constant failure. I think I have only one option. This new year just made me realise how old and how much of a burden I am to myself. I can't keep forcing a smile anymore. Everything looks bleak. Does anyone have suggestions to switch off these emotions and be numb. Be an absolute robot. Just work without being affected by my feelings and surrounding. This really is a call for help. Can't afford therapy as well. Thanks for reading.