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Made myself suffer for 6 months and couldn't move an inch in their battle. Gave up and started to focus again on my career. It has been 2 years now from that time and things have not got any better. I have now started to treat this as a normal course of life so that I don't panic every time I hear something is going on at my home.
I'll also say what I wish I could tell my younger self. Do not talk to them every time one of them is angry or upset. Do it at a fixed time on a fixed day. Be firm about not discussing things that distress you and should not be your problem as their child. You are not their friend or sibling. They should not be dumping this on you. You may have to block or mute texts and draw other lines that are really hard but it will help you move your attention away from this. Try to see a counsellor and to do other things that will support you through the grief of what might happen. Above everything. This is not your fault. You are not responsible for any part of it. You are just standing in an earthquake so you need to find shelter not try to stop it from happening.
The only exception is if it is physical violence and the parent suffering doesn't have the financial capacity to exit the situation. But even that, they will need to decide to exit before you can help them. All you can do is offer to take care of them after they decide.
1. Family and health come before work. Always.
2. The only ppl who will remember the long nights you worked will be your family. No one else will. Keep that in mind before agreeing to cancel a plan with family for work.