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Still, in the meantime if you have anything you want to talk about, we can communicate via e-mails. You and anybody reading this, who needs someone to rant to, or talk to, or just wants someone to listen to their shit can reach out to me on - maalpiyenge420@gmail.com
You see, after having lost my love -- to which I was strongly attached, I grew disillusioned. I also saw other friends who lost their love getting disillusioned themselves. One of them became self-destructive and indulged in self-harming behaviour. Another one I know just lost it and again indulged in self-harming behaviour. I myself became lethargic and lazy and lack all motivation. I tried to psychologically harm those around me, primarily my parents and my sister. They bore with me patiently. I deliberately delayed my marriage to keep them stressed -- since I blame them partly for me losing my love.
I kept delaying my marriage until one day when I realized that love is just about getting used to someone. Before joining an office, I researched on the female staff there. I found one in particular to be quite unattractive to my liking. However, 6 months down the line, I got attracted to her -- and why so? Because she was my desk neighbour. Just seeing her face everyday made her grow on me.
I realized something then. Love is just familiarity. What you are suffering is not the loss of love, but the loss of time you spent on building that familiarity. So my suggestion to you is this - you have a lot of time in your hand to spend again on building familiarity with someone. If you fail to give yourself a chance to build familiarity again with another person - you will just spend some mad amount of time indulging in self-destructive or self-harming behaviour, which will degrade your quality of life and not do anything better for those around you.
You should tell yourself that you have a lot of time in your hands to again build familiarity with a new person. The moment you reach that level of familiarity with someone else -- you will have found love again. Time is in your favour. Time is your only friend. Handle it carefully.
2. Write down 101 reasons why "chu tha wo banda". Saara love nikal jaana hai end of it.
3. You're replaceable everywhere except to your family.
Treat everyone as replaceable except your family.
Family is biological mom dad and siblings. No one else. Not one.
4. A body under construction is a mind on a mission. Start working out today. Your mental health will improve.
5. Assume responsibility and your life will start becoming meaningful. Just about any responsibility. Take it up and work for it. That's the only way out.
Swallow this and move ahead. You need no more motivation. Don't even discuss this problem with anyone else. If you are, know that you're not interested in the solution. You just want to complain, be whiny and live in your drama.
You can't ruin your life based on a breakup.
Imagine in 5 years how you will have moved on and realised that this is just a blip.
Get working on yourself and get out of there with a job in hand. There are plenty of more fish in the sea.
Also ignore the outside noises. Man up & all the best to you 🙌🏻
I understand it feels empty and impossible, been there done that, was with her for four and a half years, took shit from her, from my family, her family, fucked me up tbh - and she left me for another guy. Not that I blame her, bache thei dono, woh bhi boht toxic aur mai bhi, still it took me three years to move on from her, but when I did move on, I realised how much I missed out on and how I mistreated those who cared for me. Trust me on this, no one is worth a second though after they have left you, you'll only be wasting your time and emotions. Aage badh, chalta hai, hota rahega, rukneka nahi.
Baat rahi batchmates ki, agle saal se majority ki shakal bhi nahi dekhni, temporary insaanon ke liye permanent damage kahe karna baua, khudpe focus karo, aur koi Jawaab nahi hai. Motivation is a scam anyways, just ask yourself do you want to fuck your shit up and slow your life down for a couple of years or process the grief and hurt, move past it, and get on with your life. The answer is pretty simple in my book, is it in yours?