There are many privileges we all have, where you were born, your family background, your schooling, your gender and opportunities available because of all these things. Privilege is sometimes just the mere absence of discrimination. You cannot disclaim all privileges you have. Like with everyone, you have to make the best of what life deals you.
Even if you initially got a foot in the door, it may not translate into much. A lot of law firms take in interns through connections, but whether they train you, they take you on as an associate and how you rise at the firm depends a lot on you - unless of course you are the family of the promoters. Also, just because you are well connected, doesn't mean you don't have the right attitude or don't put in the work etc.
It is unfair, but it is also how the world functions. As you go up the ladder, honestly connections matter more than your aptitude. I am not well connected but I've had other privileges that have helped in my career. Now as someone in the senior pool, I am anxious about not having connections as it makes it harder for me to get new clients. But I work at it. Connections are not static as well. The person through whom you found work, may leave his job or your connection's position may no longer be important. Using connections are trading favours, so many of these favours are called in - the partner may expect more work if your connection is a client for instance. The world is transactional.
I get your feeling of guilt. But if it isn't you, it is someone else. About aptitude, unless you are much worse than your peers, it shouldn't matter - an internship is for learning. It honestly is like getting a spot in a good school - there is management quota.
Just don't be a dick. Acknowledge that your no-connection peers may outpace you in your career. Work hard because some of the people who have to work with you may have some prejudice because of how you came in - but that's surmountable if you put in the effort and don't name drop or act like a snob. Be kind and co-operative when you work with others.
I am graduating in 2025. And this was a Tier 2 firm, where the partners and associates actually put efforts to mentor us. I definitely get where you are coming from, but it may be a thing of the Tier 1s. Yet to intern at one though..
Modernity is nothing but concrete jungle, where people have to pretend to live as civilized animals. Life is not about fairness, rather it's about balance. If you feel unbalanced, then bring balance to your life and that's all that matters. If you feel others around you are unbalanced, then bring balance to their lives. Help other interns leech off your knowledge and your contacts. Use your privileges to get a bigger role and leave your current role that are big for others.
I got my first job like that. I get it. Work your ass off but don't beat yourself up. You have a good opportunity on hand and it's important to remind yourself to not mess it up.
I gamed my guilt by reminding myself that^ and worked my ass off while trying to have a good time in life. Built up a decent/good reputation. Moved onto another firm. Didn't feel the guilt anymore. Don't think about it anymore.
It's okay. You'll be surprised at the number of people who do this. As long as you are willing to be humble and put in the work to earn everyone's respect and regard, you're fine. It's only entitled jackasses that everyone hates. Maybe one way to deal with your guilt is to help people who are less privileged out. Make sure they're invited to lunches - my sweet nepo intern used to quietly ask me to invite her more social awkward/ not well connected colleagues and I really appreciated it; if they have language or manners issues, help them out in a kind, non-patronising way. That's much better than self pity ;)
That's how things have always worked, yes you are welcome to feel guilty about it, heck maybe it's a good thing that you are experiencing that guilt...but at the end of the day it's pointless.
You will do it again if the opportunity arises, we all will.
Law has always been a field in which the candidate benifits greatly from connections.
You are merely taking advantage of what you already have. In life, that's how you get ahead. Leave the unfortunate peasants and urchins behind in the rat race and take advantage of your contacts to surge ahead. All power and influence after all filters in the system to known entities and not to unknown parables. Rid yourself of such silly notions and enjoy :)
Sorry but technically you should feel some what bad. Did you try getting is internship on your own and couldn’t and had to call for contacts? Well then clearly your non contact co intern is more talented than you as he landed up their on his own. I don’t think it’ll ever leave your mind that even if you fuck up at your job, you have a contact waiting who can get you through other good places. There is automatically much less pressure on you. Whereas, our dear no contact intern can’t afford to fuck up. He just does not have the option, nope. He doesn’t have a chacha waiting to make some calls.
The only way to feel less bad is to think that anyone in your position would have used the contact. You can’t help it if your folks have contacts and you can’t blame yourself. Life is unfair, it always has been and it always will be. Everyone moves on and deals with it. You should too
Recently, I (One of NLS, NALSAR, NUJS) completed an internship at a "prominent, well paying" law firm in Mumbai where I learnt a great deal in a professional environment. However, as someone who secured the opportunity through personal contacts, I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt mixed with privilege compared to other interns who had to apply through the normal route, which appears incredibly laborious. Despite submitting my work, I am unable to shake off the feelings of inadequacy and fear that my entry point may impact my prospects at the firm. To overcome this insecurity, I have been trying to work extra hard and prove my worth. I have been asking for additional assignments and actively seeking guidance from the associates and partners. However, my mental struggles have begun to affect my performance, and it is becoming difficult for me to maintain a positive attitude. I cannot help but feel a sense of shame for utilizing my privileges and connections to secure this opportunity, and I am wondering what I can do to move past these emotions in a productive way. I aspire to be successful in the future, and I am willing to put in the necessary effort to prove myself worthy of the role. Any advice or previous experiences you can share would be greatly appreciated.
Well, my question is, what should I really do now? have either of you all experienced similar emotions? Should I just forget how I got in like nothing happened? What about the struggle of the direct route hardworking intern, that can't just be disregarded right?? (I swear to god to never ever use any contacts/ networks again)
Apart from this, will my "original route" affect my chances at an assessment? I have really been submitting my work on time and been appreciated. (though not so directly as the associate-intern interaction is "dysfunctional")
Even if you initially got a foot in the door, it may not translate into much. A lot of law firms take in interns through connections, but whether they train you, they take you on as an associate and how you rise at the firm depends a lot on you - unless of course you are the family of the promoters. Also, just because you are well connected, doesn't mean you don't have the right attitude or don't put in the work etc.
It is unfair, but it is also how the world functions. As you go up the ladder, honestly connections matter more than your aptitude. I am not well connected but I've had other privileges that have helped in my career. Now as someone in the senior pool, I am anxious about not having connections as it makes it harder for me to get new clients. But I work at it. Connections are not static as well. The person through whom you found work, may leave his job or your connection's position may no longer be important. Using connections are trading favours, so many of these favours are called in - the partner may expect more work if your connection is a client for instance. The world is transactional.
I get your feeling of guilt. But if it isn't you, it is someone else. About aptitude, unless you are much worse than your peers, it shouldn't matter - an internship is for learning. It honestly is like getting a spot in a good school - there is management quota.
Just don't be a dick. Acknowledge that your no-connection peers may outpace you in your career. Work hard because some of the people who have to work with you may have some prejudice because of how you came in - but that's surmountable if you put in the effort and don't name drop or act like a snob. Be kind and co-operative when you work with others.
Sab topper nahi hote Laxman.
I am graduating in 2025. And this was a Tier 2 firm, where the partners and associates actually put efforts to mentor us. I definitely get where you are coming from, but it may be a thing of the Tier 1s. Yet to intern at one though..
Modernity is nothing but concrete jungle, where people have to pretend to live as civilized animals. Life is not about fairness, rather it's about balance. If you feel unbalanced, then bring balance to your life and that's all that matters. If you feel others around you are unbalanced, then bring balance to their lives. Help other interns leech off your knowledge and your contacts. Use your privileges to get a bigger role and leave your current role that are big for others.
I gamed my guilt by reminding myself that^ and worked my ass off while trying to have a good time in life. Built up a decent/good reputation. Moved onto another firm. Didn't feel the guilt anymore. Don't think about it anymore.
Chill out
Which partner is guiding you lol. They have better things to do
IT'S TRUE 2023 BATCH IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT THINGS
I am honestly scared about law firm's future. Gen z nlu kids
You will do it again if the opportunity arises, we all will.
Law has always been a field in which the candidate benifits greatly from connections.
You are merely taking advantage of what you already have. In life, that's how you get ahead. Leave the unfortunate peasants and urchins behind in the rat race and take advantage of your contacts to surge ahead. All power and influence after all filters in the system to known entities and not to unknown parables. Rid yourself of such silly notions and enjoy :)
The only way to feel less bad is to think that anyone in your position would have used the contact. You can’t help it if your folks have contacts and you can’t blame yourself. Life is unfair, it always has been and it always will be. Everyone moves on and deals with it. You should too
Well, my question is, what should I really do now? have either of you all experienced similar emotions? Should I just forget how I got in like nothing happened? What about the struggle of the direct route hardworking intern, that can't just be disregarded right?? (I swear to god to never ever use any contacts/ networks again)
Apart from this, will my "original route" affect my chances at an assessment? I have really been submitting my work on time and been appreciated. (though not so directly as the associate-intern interaction is "dysfunctional")