I am a recent A0 at one of the Big7 and I have a big problem. As a 25 year old male, I have already started looking for my potential future better half and the first filter that I deploy is, does the girl look outstanding. Now idk if I am extremely shallow or if all men are the same but deep down I feel that I am not a good human being for judging people solely on how they look (especially when I don't look like Tom Cruise myself). Can people advise me?
It's very natural for you to look for the girls "looks", men have been doing this from eternity. Like a woman look for resources/smartness /intelligence in a man, there is no problem with you looking for "looks" as a primary criteria.
You are not shallow, because that 99.9% of guys (and girls) think like that and we live in an Instagram-obsessed age where looks and external appearances are very important. But let me tell you something. Half the actresses, models and influencers you see look very ordinary without makeup. They spend hours using facials, skin lighteners, chemical peels etc. Often surgery as well.
As a simple example, see this before and after transformation pic of Miss World Manushi Chillar.
bhai.. league ka matlab samajhta hai. koi reason hai jo log kehte hain ki she is way out of my league etc. that's looks based only - toh faltu mein pange mat le
We’ll yeah . That’s the definition of shallow superficial not good person type behaviour. Idk why you want others to justify it for you? You’re an A0 at a “big 7”? What is a big 7? An A0 is literally a fresh hire. You’re at the start of your career . You don’t know anything yet.
I guess most people look for a package maybe - beautiful, intelligent, nice, etc. But you'll have to decide what weighs most over time, all the criteria change over time including looks, so if looks are so important then how long will you be able to sustain something with a person. And also think about being rejected for not looking good. I don't know how bad it is to be shallow but does feel bad personally. Maybe thinking more about it could help you.
I am an average looking women working in house in Mumbai. Married. This is from my perspective.
Is it shallow for men to solely go for looks?
No, you are rich (working in a Tier 1 law firm) with your money you can actually attract women who are traditionally cute (Slim, Very Fair, Fit, Body and excellent Facial Features)
Actually men in law firms, consulting and business - I have seen a lot of them going for looks. It's a tradeoff - you make money she has looks.
Women (not so pretty) working in law firms or otherwise solely go for resources - guys assets, job etc. Because women are biologically geared towards going for these. Even wealthy women go just for these despite it's abundance. Ever seen a Tier 1 law firm women / Management Consultant going for someone below thier league? Rarely.
These days, intelligent rich women say "they are not looking for money in a guy, but just intelligence" - this is BS. Because in the modern knowledge economy - Intelligence usually translates into money.
Just like women go for money, intelligence and resources, it's not immoral for men to go for resources.
Men are visually stimulated (sexually) more than women. Women are emotionally stimulated. No matter how crap a women's behavior is - man is looking to get laid if she has the looks, women on the other hand looks at things holistically. Men's behavior, attitudes, resources etc matters for them. Men are willing to tolerate pretty women's crappy behavior (Read about Pretty Privilege)
That's why you can be more attracted by a woman with bad behavior, if she looks good.
You could see this everywhere, wealthy intelligent men going for pretty women with nothing else. But rare to see women solely going for looks. For most women, looks are important, but are one among many factors.
But the issue is, there are many pretty women, but just don't go for a crappy person just for looks. You neee to asses whether it's good in the long run.
You need to asses whether going for looks alone is worth in the long run?
Women rarely care about 'simulation' or looks for long term. They look at earing potential and emotional maturity.
Guess why the richest and intelligent or mature men get pretty woman?
There is a big demand for pretty airhostesses. Even current union ministers married models, actress and airhostesses just for looks. Ever seen woman going after handsome / gymrat men for looks? Rarely
Thats secondary. If a guy has money and good looks then ofc a girl will choose him but if a guy has good looks but not enough money then she will not go for him.
You should just be ok with a girl being with you for your money and not being attracted to your looks or personality. Don't expect her to fall in love with your shallow ass.
There's no way you could understand the purpose of getting married, what's best for you is to leave every girl alone. So that they can find guys who actually admire them for who they are and not on how they look.
What's even Big 7 lmao. Lot of people have same money as you and that doesn't take you anywhere.
But think what you want in the long run?
As a simple example, see this before and after transformation pic of Miss World Manushi Chillar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8leV8jbjtw
Is it shallow for men to solely go for looks?
No, you are rich (working in a Tier 1 law firm) with your money you can actually attract women who are traditionally cute (Slim, Very Fair, Fit, Body and excellent Facial Features)
Actually men in law firms, consulting and business - I have seen a lot of them going for looks. It's a tradeoff - you make money she has looks.
Women (not so pretty) working in law firms or otherwise solely go for resources - guys assets, job etc. Because women are biologically geared towards going for these. Even wealthy women go just for these despite it's abundance. Ever seen a Tier 1 law firm women / Management Consultant going for someone below thier league? Rarely.
These days, intelligent rich women say "they are not looking for money in a guy, but just intelligence" - this is BS. Because in the modern knowledge economy - Intelligence usually translates into money.
Just like women go for money, intelligence and resources, it's not immoral for men to go for resources.
Men are visually stimulated (sexually) more than women. Women are emotionally stimulated. No matter how crap a women's behavior is - man is looking to get laid if she has the looks, women on the other hand looks at things holistically. Men's behavior, attitudes, resources etc matters for them. Men are willing to tolerate pretty women's crappy behavior (Read about Pretty Privilege)
That's why you can be more attracted by a woman with bad behavior, if she looks good.
You could see this everywhere, wealthy intelligent men going for pretty women with nothing else. But rare to see women solely going for looks. For most women, looks are important, but are one among many factors.
But the issue is, there are many pretty women, but just don't go for a crappy person just for looks. You neee to asses whether it's good in the long run.
You need to asses whether going for looks alone is worth in the long run?
Guess why the richest and intelligent or mature men get pretty woman?
There is a big demand for pretty airhostesses. Even current union ministers married models, actress and airhostesses just for looks. Ever seen woman going after handsome / gymrat men for looks? Rarely
I think that's fair.
What's even Big 7 lmao. Lot of people have same money as you and that doesn't take you anywhere.
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/5254645
https://www.deccanherald.com/dh-galleries/photos/manushi-chhillar-dating-zerodhas-nikhil-kamath-heres-what-we-know-1164938#9
https://shikshanews.com/fir-filed-against-jackky-bhagnani-zerodha-co-founder-and-7-others-for-molestation-of-ex-model/
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/chess/billionaire-nikhil-kamath-admits-to-using-unfair-means-to-beat-viswanathan-anand-in-charity-chess-game/articleshow/83506926.cms
Fact of life.