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I do not like spending all waking hours working and in office. I do not want to end up like her.
She doesn't have a personality, her personality is just being an M&A Lawyer, i mean, an old piece of cardboard has more personality. She doesn't have any other interests or hobbies, and her recreation, if any, is limited to watching TV shows.
How do I stop myself from ending up like her.
Reasons:
1. Trust me legal field be it litigation , in house or law firms demand a 10 hour work day. It is the field.
2. I worked with a senior advocate who would work from 9 to 10.30 pm. Half days on sundays. Most sundays he would just sit and .ake us sit too. No payments. I went insane and questioned my ability to work hard. I too felt that he derives rush by sitting in office. Later I got to know that he is not in good terms with his elder brother due to partition issues so he would avoid him and sit on his office and wont go to home area. Ouch. That was one big reason for him to sit for long hours.
But yes, It was clear that the man derived his "self-confidence & self worth" by his ability to be disciplined. I could hear his thoughts:-
"I work so hard. I am the best. My juniors are lazy and must learn from me to sit for 12 hourson desk. Dekha mai kitna hoshiyaar hu , kitna kaam krta hu. Koi kar sakta hai itna kaam?"
Possibly, the lady you are talking about has nagging MIL at home or quarrelsome domestic life? Who knows.
3. The grind & hustle culture is also responsible for the glorification of "no off days". Its a recipe for disaster. All work no play makes jack a dull boy.
4. Having said 3, you must know that atleast in initial years you can't help but work really really hard. You have to do it. Can't help.
5. Having said 2, please note that often people who become "Work Zombies" are very fine and competent in their field. My senior was also a fine litigator. They did put in discipline to read and master their niche area . Its only expected of them to continue their recipe of success through life. Even the top performers in law school don't have a social life. (We have bith examples). Infact, isolation & solitude is getting a bad name. But it is needed to plan and strategize and study files.
6. With me, there was another junior. He was a return from a metro. He had interned in law firms. He was so toxic that he absolutely hated to leave office after me. Even if he had no work, he would keep delaying exiting office by making excuses (writing vkalatnama slower, arrangjng files , keep calling friends). He would make sure that he leaves after me. He also derived his self worth by showing to senior, world and to hinself by how hard he worked.
Well, I differ.
Coming to solution:- BALANCE
1. 1 hr personal time (walk , music etc) . 1hr family or friends time.
2. Sundays are off. Only in sunday evening you can work and plan for week ahead.
Easier said than done.