@3.1 : We all plan to get married , have kids and 'be happy ever after' . Universal, yes. But what I meant was that Indian Society has very fixed / rigid / orthodox thinking . They are judgmental about everything which is causing stress to young generations.
In shaadi season everyone asks you when will you settle down. Every one is looking for an IAS / Govt Servant to marry or get a government / MNC jobs themselevs. There is no social equality . (Please some info on Nordic Countries) . Even If you achieve 'tick' the common societal goals off your list you may not know when next covid happens and your established cashflow plummets ? Life is uncertain .
Again, Imagine you have achieve 'tick' the common societal goals and now you are 55 and your son is 20 . Relax and think - did you waste your life chasing what society told you to chase ? Was it a life worth living ?
Now coming to your question :- Quote:
Assuming one does break the Chakravyuh, what are the other possibilities?
The possibilities are endless. What I mean in essence is that marriage and kids are a part of life. To begin with Einstein and Richard Feynman were married twice. Melon Musk has been married thrice and dated multiple persons , has 9 children and named one of them X Æ A-12 Musk . In short , indian society is not very accepting of what goes around. We are nosy. We are much interested in others lives and we ''shame'' and ''shun'' if someone is not married by 30 or 32 max! and by 35 they must must have a kid ! How can they not ? It does not matter if they are able to financially support the child or not . You must have a kid yaar ! Bhagwan unko Bada Karega. Wow
What I mean to say is that your life must not revolve around just being a family man/woman . In my opinion, we must strive to achieve the best we are capable of . I hope we all get a supportive spouse and blessings from above.
If you are not able to get such opportunities abroad then you can boast of being a patriot and enjoy your life in India. Have you heard "patriotism is last resort" ?
Just a thought. I think it's fine one way or the other. Staying in India or not. I think OP should stop worrying too much about what others are doing and focus on himself/herself. Different people have different motivations for moving abroad. Could be money. Could be acceptance. Could be safety. Could be a better life. If OP doesn't share that view, OP doesn't have to move. Maybe life is great for them in India and that's great.
I will give you a flipside and just counter one or two things you mentioned about being seen as second class citizens. Firstly, it depends on where you are going. Of course if you move to Texas or Georgia, that is to be expected. I will give you a counterpoint as someone who moved to a very liberal city. I am a lesbian and I've by far felt 100% more accepted since I moved abroad than I was here in India by my own compatriots. The place where I moved has never made me feel discriminated against because of my race and especially my sexual orientation, whereas in India I felt the brunt of hiding who I am daily, for fear of being judged or even hurt. I can also get married where I am and in India I legally cannot. Also, when I moved there I had a healthy mix of both Indian and non-Indian friends. My best friend is European. I've actually noticed that most Indians hang out with other Indians by choice, not compulsion. Because they get too comfortable with the familiarity (which is understandable because you have a language affinity or a cultural affinity). However, I have noticed people in my extended circle (not my own close Indian friends) making others feel unwelcome by randomly speaking in Hindi despite being in a mixed group and the other non-Hindi speaking foreigners asking "what does that mean?" every 5 seconds. That is very rude behavior when you have others present in a common small gathering of 4-5 people. Then there is one group of Indians who actively avoid the LGBT crowd or make offhanded homophobic comments (sometimes without even realising it) on the fly which is never acceptable to people who have grown up in a liberal society. There is another which offhandedly makes racist comments about black people or just tries to make friends with white people and would never try to make friends with black people. If people do this, they only have themselves to blame if they aren't integrating.
Bottom line is if you want to move somewhere, you should be ready to integrate into their society and not be judgmental about their value systems. And if you integrate well and in a city that you know is not a racist one as such, I don't see why that's a bad thing. This is not to say that you should forget your culture. I celebrate big pujas and play holi and diwali every year. But if one would want to not be given a cold shoulder one should learn to integrate properly.
Assuming one does break the Chakravyuh, what are the other possibilities? Because these steps seem a bit universal no mater where we go. Keen to have opinions on this
Don't worry, an Indian will always be a second-class citizen in any first-world white man's country. Doesn't matter how hard they try and ingratiate themselves with white people, or how rich/successful they are. Nearly all of them will hang around with other Indians and follow the same cultures and customs they desperately tried to leave behind. Maybe a few will hit the "jackpot" of getting a white spouse (the Indian dream, eh), but even then they'd find it hard to fit in. You're not missing out on anything.
I say this as someone who's been abroad and still has many relatives living there. The Western world is cleaner, more organised and definitely more efficient. But something about it feels very hollow and superficial. This isn't some patriotic zeal about the greatness of India, but I think most people go abroad just to impress their relatives living here and because everyone else they know is doing it. This started with the engineering craze of IIT grads and has trickled down now.
When you're shuddering even thinking about writing something that may,, just may,,, offend the "powers that be", for fear of malicious prosecution, and you value speaking your mind without fear of retribution, you'd probably want to run away too
I am the only one in my friends circle who will stay back in India. Everyone around me is leaving for a foreign firm or something unrelated to India. I don't understand what is so bad about India that they think there will be no issue in other countries.
In shaadi season everyone asks you when will you settle down. Every one is looking for an IAS / Govt Servant to marry or get a government / MNC jobs themselevs. There is no social equality . (Please some info on Nordic Countries) . Even If you achieve 'tick' the common societal goals off your list you may not know when next covid happens and your established cashflow plummets ? Life is uncertain .
Again, Imagine you have achieve 'tick' the common societal goals and now you are 55 and your son is 20 . Relax and think - did you waste your life chasing what society told you to chase ? Was it a life worth living ?
Now coming to your question :-
Quote: The possibilities are endless. What I mean in essence is that marriage and kids are a part of life. To begin with Einstein and Richard Feynman were married twice. Melon Musk has been married thrice and dated multiple persons , has 9 children and named one of them X Æ A-12 Musk . In short , indian society is not very accepting of what goes around. We are nosy. We are much interested in others lives and we ''shame'' and ''shun'' if someone is not married by 30 or 32 max! and by 35 they must must have a kid ! How can they not ? It does not matter if they are able to financially support the child or not . You must have a kid yaar ! Bhagwan unko Bada Karega. Wow
What I mean to say is that your life must not revolve around just being a family man/woman . In my opinion, we must strive to achieve the best we are capable of . I hope we all get a supportive spouse and blessings from above.
And you can actually use its power and speed.
I will give you a flipside and just counter one or two things you mentioned about being seen as second class citizens. Firstly, it depends on where you are going. Of course if you move to Texas or Georgia, that is to be expected. I will give you a counterpoint as someone who moved to a very liberal city. I am a lesbian and I've by far felt 100% more accepted since I moved abroad than I was here in India by my own compatriots. The place where I moved has never made me feel discriminated against because of my race and especially my sexual orientation, whereas in India I felt the brunt of hiding who I am daily, for fear of being judged or even hurt. I can also get married where I am and in India I legally cannot. Also, when I moved there I had a healthy mix of both Indian and non-Indian friends. My best friend is European. I've actually noticed that most Indians hang out with other Indians by choice, not compulsion. Because they get too comfortable with the familiarity (which is understandable because you have a language affinity or a cultural affinity). However, I have noticed people in my extended circle (not my own close Indian friends) making others feel unwelcome by randomly speaking in Hindi despite being in a mixed group and the other non-Hindi speaking foreigners asking "what does that mean?" every 5 seconds. That is very rude behavior when you have others present in a common small gathering of 4-5 people. Then there is one group of Indians who actively avoid the LGBT crowd or make offhanded homophobic comments (sometimes without even realising it) on the fly which is never acceptable to people who have grown up in a liberal society. There is another which offhandedly makes racist comments about black people or just tries to make friends with white people and would never try to make friends with black people. If people do this, they only have themselves to blame if they aren't integrating.
Bottom line is if you want to move somewhere, you should be ready to integrate into their society and not be judgmental about their value systems. And if you integrate well and in a city that you know is not a racist one as such, I don't see why that's a bad thing. This is not to say that you should forget your culture. I celebrate big pujas and play holi and diwali every year. But if one would want to not be given a cold shoulder one should learn to integrate properly.
I say this as someone who's been abroad and still has many relatives living there. The Western world is cleaner, more organised and definitely more efficient. But something about it feels very hollow and superficial. This isn't some patriotic zeal about the greatness of India, but I think most people go abroad just to impress their relatives living here and because everyone else they know is doing it. This started with the engineering craze of IIT grads and has trickled down now.
1. Quality of life / Standard of living
2. Job opportunities
3. Social Justice
4. Civic sense
5. To break "Chakravyuh" of indian society (Study Shadi Bacha Die repeat)