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I have a few promising leads. I'm hopeful something will pan out. I don't know enough people who can get me through these doors, but I've done the grunt work, I think. It'll work out. I turn my focus back to the draft - only a few more hours until I'm done with this section. And then on to the next one.
I get a call in the middle of the day. It's the lady from the place again. My heart skips a beat as I attempt to speak in a measured, understated tone - yes, I'll be available to speak whenever you'd like. Yes, i went to so and so and have done so and so over the last few years. My heart beats a few times more each second than its used to. My life could change, I think. It'll work out.
A week goes by. My filing is done and I finally realize how exhausted I am. But at the back of my head, all I hope for is for that lady to call me back. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my work. It could be much worse, I know. I am grateful it isn't. But secretly, and only to myself, I hope for that lady to call me back. My life could change, I think.
It's afternoon again, and I'm back at the desk. It's another filing and another late night. I've almost forgotten that I was to wait for the lady to call me back, but mostly because I try my best to make it hurt a tiny bit less. Almost suddenly, my phone rings and her number flashes before my eyes once more.
I hear her tell me they aren't hiring for the role anymore. I say all the right things that I've heard people tell me I'm supposed to say over the years. I try to be nice to her, to be professional. I understand it's not her fault, she's just another cog in the machine, just like me. Once she's hung up, it's just me. And my heart hurts but there's no one to tell. It's okay, I think. There's another section to finish.
I go online on LinkedIn. I see people posting excitedly about working at so and so. I remember for a second the sheer excitement i felt when I first heard from the lady. I catch myself smiling sadly, grateful there's no one around.
There's another section to finish.
I'm in a job I don't like anymore. I badly want a judicial clerkship at the Supreme Court. I spent a good few months sending out applications, only to be rejected everywhere. I know getting the clerkship will be life changing for me. And it's not happening. It's frustrating.
On a unrelated note, I think you should pursue writing as a side profession. You're quite good at it. I was gripped throughout.
I would totally buy your book!
If yes, hang in there and broaden your network - you will get the role you want.
I wish I could talk to you and discuss my life story.
Please don't loose hope, persevere. Also, please think out of the box to change your situation. Make yourself mentally readyvto take calculated risk.
Just a suggestion. While you could keep on applying, get better at the job. Share your experiences and growth wherever possible on SM platforms like LI. Sometimes you need not go to your next job, it may come to you !
Meanwhile, enjoy the ride as well !
I like the part of - another section to finish
Hang in there my friend
You already have a knack of clear expression in dire times :)
You should create a blog and write there, anonymously if you’d prefer. We’d love to read more of yours.
One day, had enough. Sent out two applications. Both were great opportunities. One called back. Had seven interviews, with people interviewing me across three continents and at all times of day and night. Being as objective as possible, I know I did well. If I had not, the subsequent interviews would not have been set up.
A week after the last interview, I was fielding office meetings and phone calls on a Monday. Mondays are hectic. My personal phone rings, its her. I greet her and am quite happy. How could I not be, I went through seven interviews with senior management. I had it in the bag.
I did not get it. Phone call lasted all of 20 seconds. Went about my day. When I went to bed, came the waterworks. Sucks.
Bring some joy into someone else's life.. and see how all that you give comes back to you.
A well wisher.