Not the OP here, but spectrum is one way of putting it. Queerness manifests differently for all of us. For some, it is sexual attraction, for others, it is rejection of some societal norms, for others, it is about love and relationships that cross traditional boundaries of gender. All of these things also interact in different ways (look up "demisexual" to get an idea).
Also, there are plenty of resources online to read up about queerness, including several created by queer people or groups. Make use of them.
Practically none. A friend of mine drew this list up for me when I asked them. They called it a "Civil Marital Contract" and said it would be possible to execute all of this in one document and make a whole ceremony out of it!
I don't know if this is the right forum for this, but inspired by this thread decided to post anyway. I am an asexual man in my 30s at a tier 1. I am not very open about it, neither do I intend to. I am tired of answering questions about my lack of relationship and non marriage. Is there any support group for asexual people in India that anyone may be aware of?
And to whoever started this group and to everyone sharing, all the power to you!
This is a very good question actually and I am happy to answer this. So you won't be able to get the same rights married people do. But that does not mean you don't have options. Here are the instruments you need to execute to practically have similar rights.
1. Mutual Medical Powers of Attorney: This is so the other can take decisions on your behalf. If there are mental health issues at play, consider advance directives under the Mental health act.
2. Wills: Execute wills for the benefit of the other. This will help with succession planning.
3. Guardianship Papers: While only one of you can adopt, you can in your will name the other as the guardian and also execute papers naming the other as a guardian to act in your absence. This gives you a semblance of co-parenting rights.
4. Joint Bank Accounts: You can open a joint bank account. Make the other the nominee on all bank accounts including demat accounts etc.
5. Names: You can by paper publication choose to take what name you like. Nothing stops you from taking the name of the other.
6. Health Insurance: This is where it gets complicated. You won't find a policy that works. So take two policies and if there is a kid cover the child under the policy of the birth mother/father/adoptive parent.
A guy saw you, probably thought you were interesting and asked you out. Don't overanalyze it. Gaydar is overrated. It is hard for us queer people to identify someone's sexual orientation because no one walks with a signboard on their heads or rainbow flags draped around them 24Ć7. Whether you are gay/bi or not is something only you can answer. There is no such thing as coming off as gay to a third person (unless you have shown any interest in men from your side) and if people think that, it is probably from a lack of education about these things. Being homosexual is a sexual orientation, it doesn't suddenly change a conventionally manly man into a less "bro" man or a less conventionally manly man into something else. I have many gay male friends who are more "bro" than all the straight men in my life and many straight male friends who are not into your typical dude-bro lifestyles. There is no one type of gay man, so such assumptions are ridiculous. Also, just because you're not interested in women does not mean you're gay. You could be aromantic/asexual or both. Or you could be straight but demisexual. You are gay only if you are sexually interested in men and not in women at all. An absence of interest in women does not equate to being gay. If people are assuming your sexual orientation, it's just based on backward thinking based on stereotypes. You should tell them you are uncomfortable with it. That said, on your end, I think you need to be a little more secure in your masculinity. Your comment reeks of self doubt and of insecurity in how you are coming off to others. Don't let this get to you.
All of them know I'm Queer. Do all of them acknowledge it? No. You're treated about the same. Except the older bosses will stop asking you about marriage plans after a whole (this is a relief). Coming out to my colleagues was straightforward for me. They sent a list of all staff with mobile numbers and gender pronouns affixed. I wrote back "gently requesting" that my pronoun be changed to Mx. The admin did the googling and soon everyone was aware of the situation.
Work is largely Don't ask Don't tell as far as private matters are concerned. I always have felt sexuality is on a need to know basis and no one at work really needs to know. But yes with pronouns, I'm quite open and don't like it when I'm called Mr/Ms.
My friends from college had suspected it for a while. Turns out my Mom was pretty oblivious but my Grandma had a hunch all along! In short it was quite supportive. One or two friends stopped talking to me. But meh. Such is life.
@Kian@R Please approve this thread. It may be useful/fun. Also, I'm open to all questioning. Even an offensive line. So if it's approved, gentle request for moderating questions with a light touch.
Also, there are plenty of resources online to read up about queerness, including several created by queer people or groups. Make use of them.
And to whoever started this group and to everyone sharing, all the power to you!
1. Mutual Medical Powers of Attorney: This is so the other can take decisions on your behalf. If there are mental health issues at play, consider advance directives under the Mental health act.
2. Wills: Execute wills for the benefit of the other. This will help with succession planning.
3. Guardianship Papers: While only one of you can adopt, you can in your will name the other as the guardian and also execute papers naming the other as a guardian to act in your absence. This gives you a semblance of co-parenting rights.
4. Joint Bank Accounts: You can open a joint bank account. Make the other the nominee on all bank accounts including demat accounts etc.
5. Names: You can by paper publication choose to take what name you like. Nothing stops you from taking the name of the other.
6. Health Insurance: This is where it gets complicated. You won't find a policy that works. So take two policies and if there is a kid cover the child under the policy of the birth mother/father/adoptive parent.
Iām a lesbian & Me and my partner are living together in India. We want to get legal rights in India as a couple. Is there any way around it?
Also, just because you're not interested in women does not mean you're gay. You could be aromantic/asexual or both. Or you could be straight but demisexual. You are gay only if you are sexually interested in men and not in women at all. An absence of interest in women does not equate to being gay. If people are assuming your sexual orientation, it's just based on backward thinking based on stereotypes. You should tell them you are uncomfortable with it.
That said, on your end, I think you need to be a little more secure in your masculinity. Your comment reeks of self doubt and of insecurity in how you are coming off to others. Don't let this get to you.
Work is largely Don't ask Don't tell as far as private matters are concerned. I always have felt sexuality is on a need to know basis and no one at work really needs to know. But yes with pronouns, I'm quite open and don't like it when I'm called Mr/Ms.
I'm actually lucky to work here I guess.
@Kian @R Please approve this thread. It may be useful/fun. Also, I'm open to all questioning. Even an offensive line. So if it's approved, gentle request for moderating questions with a light touch.