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I am a Judicial Officer in Maharashtra, my girlfriend (Financial sector - Non-Law) lives in Mumbai, my family is also in Mumbai. Our relationship is serious (both our families have also agreed - no issues in caste/my income) My family is poor, but that is sorted out by my job.
Everything is going smooth - people have congratulated us, I am happy, she is happy.
GF is happy that I am finally making a good living as a judicial officer (earlier I was in a seniors chamber which paid shit) People are saying that - we both are equally lucky. She is the most loving girl on earth - when our relationship started, I was making 10K (not enough for anything) she was making 6 figures - despite being broke (myself) and a poor family I come from she loved me and even helped me financially. Litigation/Corp is not my forte. I hate to work long hours. She is a high-status rich talented girl while I am poor and academically not bright.
Getting Judicial Services was good - but now I am posted at a crappy location where people shit on the road, she cannot work from home - and her office is in BKC (Mumbai) she has to be there every day. Her work can be done maximum in Mumbai/Pune. Our relationship has become just a Sunday meetup. Getting a posting in Mumbai/nearby is impossible for me. Even if I get a posting it will be for 2 to 3 years max.
Now she is depressed - so am I, as our future together will be more of a weekend marriage. I will not be able to be in her life every day. I am also crying. She talked to my colleagues who also told her the truth- out of 30 years of service - maybe you can stay in Mumbai for 5 years. I can get posting to nearby districts but still it will be a weekend marriage.
How do I manage this? Leaving her is impossible. She is more important than the job; but if I leave this job, I have nothing else in life. Is there any way out - How to console her? How do I manage my own life?
If we want to continue - Let's say I am in a far off district from Mumbai - how do I maintain a marriage and help her while only seeing her on a weekend?
Therapy won't work I guess - because most high-end therapists she suggested know shit about state jobs or our own life. I can never lose her over anything - she has given meaning to my life. You may be thinking - I have everything in life - Yes. But everything became rotten.
Her family is not conservative - but time is running out for marriage - almost 8 years since we met.
Your respect for your girlfriend is very admirable, respect to you. If you are confident about this admiration and respect towards your girlfriend and the families are not shitty and nosy, let her be the primary breadwinner.
Yes you wouldn't get the normality like other couples. But hey, these normal couples wouldn't get the bond that you two share.
Life sometimes sorts itself out.
Don't worry.
Love conquers all. It is not how many times you meet. Its all about how you cherish the times that you are together. Life is tough. You will work it out. Both need to make sacrifices if both want it to work.
In the end if it doesnt work then be practical.
I think you should stick to the job for a while, while figuring out your other options, like applying in law firms etc, I know you said you didnt like working long hours but that is the only reasonable option which will guantee you your life with your partner and stable income, it might be the hardest decision to make in your life, but if you are giving up something for love and have a strong head for it, I think you should see for other jobs since you are a judicial officer people will hire you easily and if you say that you are not inerested in law as a carrer then I think you'll eventually even get bored of your current job as well.
First of all above everything you need to weigh down your options like what all probablities you have concerning you present and future life and then make a calculated move, and it will require compromise from both side ( you and her). First atleast secure your job then go for the marriage immediately so that you can join soon after the marriage, remember always to think about yourself too and not just blindly making any decision on the present circumstances.
Lastly, if it she is meant for you, if you both are meant for each other, it will eventually happen no matter what.
I hope you have the strength and courage to take a calculated and wise decision, all the best ahead !
There's no other way apart from this dude, unless, you are open to abandoning her, and getting married to someone else while saving your post.
The only way out is that your girlfriend's company allows her to WFH, and she then gets to stay with you. During lockdown, all offices were closed. It simply means we can operate without having to go to our offices. All companies are moving towards WFH or hybrid model. She needs to put het foot down so that she is allowed to WFH forever, else she needs to find another job which lets her to do so. This is the only solution.
You can easily get a better girl with more dowry since you have a pcsj job Bro.