I just read a post on LI titled '05.01.2022', and few lines in I burst into tears. I am a fresh associate in a T1 and I moved to this practice from an IPR background. I absolutely loved my last job for the work, but my mentors (if I can all them that) were unavailable. I started at this current job and not even a year has passed, and I already feel like I am only falling behind and failing. I make incredibly stupid mistakes. My seniors have to keep fixing my mistakes and they are wonderful, trust me. Very patient and genuine people and that makes me feel so much worse about myself. I don't even understand why I keep making mistakes. I get very nervous around my team because I feel anxious that I will make more mistakes. Its an endless loop. I have not turned in a single document which does not have errors in the fundamentals. I make so many typos, misread rules and regulations and then have no reason or justification for my mistakes. I feel like a liability to my team but I desperately do not want to be. Looking for any advice to get out of this.
You are taking too much pressure on yourself. Take requisite time when you get work and ask your relevant seniors/team members to clarify your doubts and queries. Hopefully, you will have accommodating team who understands this and will help you navigate.
If need be, you can take a break and start afresh later on. Since you are a fresh graduate, you must be 22-25 years old, you have 30+ odd years to work and prove your self.. Don't get bogged down by these initial years.
Hi, first of all, take a breath, calm down. Associates are expected to make mistakes. Perhaps not on the fundamentals, but please remind yourself that nothing is a lost cause and you are not a 'liability to your team'. Could I suggest you first, speak to a trusted senior in your team? Doesn't have to be the partner- just anybody senior to you that has shown an interest in helping you out. You are not the first poster on LI to be having this issue and I'm sure you wont be the first associate your team would've seen having this problem. Next, depending on what type of work you do, develop a system to approaching research- perhaps first step could be to make a list of all the sources you want to look at for your research and keeping knocking off items on this list/adding them as you go. That way, your mind is less scattered and there is more method to madness at work and so you make fewer mistakes.
It is frustrating when newbies make mistakes like copying down the sections properly into memos and yes, it does make seniors trust them less. However, if a junior demonstrates that they acknowledge the problem and are wanting to work on it, seniors are more often than not, happy to guide them and it does not diminish trust. Also, that it bothers you when you make mistakes shows your level of commitment to your work and that you want to work hard- your seniors will see this.
Lastly, on your point about feeling nervous around your team- I suffer from this too, especially after having moved on from my first job recently. However, I have found that it helps to remember that this is a job. Not your life. Take things one email at a time and soon enough, you wont find yourself so anxious anymore.
You seem to be having signs of depression and need professional help. Only with a fit mind can you perform better on professional front. Do not hesitate- reach out to a qualified professional.
I must congratulate for identifying that there is an issue. This is the first step to improvement. I also request you to seek help of a counselor who can help you streamline your thought process. LI audience neither knows you personally, nor trained in psychology. If you feel that your seniors are genuine ,and if (and that's a big if) you r able to trust someone senior, tell them about your problem. If (again a very big if) you feel that you need some time to get trained and would benefit from a slower work place for a few months, offer to delay your promotion by half a year and go on, what in IT industry is called as 'performance improvement program'. Having said all this, remember your worth as a lawyer is not determined by these things. You may be having talents which may prove very useful at later point in your career such as taking quick decisions or dealing with clients. Do not demean yourself because of these issues.
It is still early in your career. Think of this as a learning experience.
Most T1 work is brain-numbing and it does not get better.
If need be, you can take a break and start afresh later on. Since you are a fresh graduate, you must be 22-25 years old, you have 30+ odd years to work and prove your self.. Don't get bogged down by these initial years.
It is frustrating when newbies make mistakes like copying down the sections properly into memos and yes, it does make seniors trust them less. However, if a junior demonstrates that they acknowledge the problem and are wanting to work on it, seniors are more often than not, happy to guide them and it does not diminish trust. Also, that it bothers you when you make mistakes shows your level of commitment to your work and that you want to work hard- your seniors will see this.
Lastly, on your point about feeling nervous around your team- I suffer from this too, especially after having moved on from my first job recently. However, I have found that it helps to remember that this is a job. Not your life. Take things one email at a time and soon enough, you wont find yourself so anxious anymore.
My two cents, hope this helps.
Only with a fit mind can you perform better on professional front.
Do not hesitate- reach out to a qualified professional.
If you feel that your seniors are genuine ,and if (and that's a big if) you r able to trust someone senior, tell them about your problem. If (again a very big if) you feel that you need some time to get trained and would benefit from a slower work place for a few months, offer to delay your promotion by half a year and go on, what in IT industry is called as 'performance improvement program'.
Having said all this, remember your worth as a lawyer is not determined by these things. You may be having talents which may prove very useful at later point in your career such as taking quick decisions or dealing with clients. Do not demean yourself because of these issues.