I am a 2020 graduate, started working right after college (after no breaks right from the 3rd year of law school, all semester breaks spent interning). I am burnt out, I lack motivation, and there is nothing that pushes me to do better at work. I feel stuck, I don't know where I am heading to. I come from a financially stable background, but my family and I aren't rich enough to afford a long sabbatical / foreign LLM to buy time. Also, the risk of not being able to find a job after a sabbatical also looms. I am not confident in my abilities, not sure if I will get another job with my current skillset. There seems to be no escape from the rut, as a consequence, I am losing out on a "normal / healthy" life. I am so anxious that I can hear the MS Teams ringtone in my sleep, on weekends, and on holidays (when I am not working). In my free / idle time, pending work tasks haunt me - a simple work related text / call triggers my anxiety. Weekends are a luxury, and most of the public holidays are spent working too. I somehow push myself to meet my friends (luckily I am working from my hometown - dont know what will happen when offices reopen), spend enough time with my girlfriend, and try to workout. Yet, I do not feel good. I feel stuck, lost, anxious, and angry. I am just wasting my time away, throwing away my youth. I don't know how to get of this phase - nothing motivates me. My current state is also affecting my work performance adversely, so I fear losing my present job too. I really wish I find a way out. Its just a rant, I really hope that none of those who are reading this feel the way I do. But if you do, I am here to lend you an ear. If you have overcome such a phase then please share your experience, it will be very helpful. Thanks.

(P.S. - I am deliberately not mentioning the "tier" of my law school or law firm. People across tiers could be stuck the way I am, I believe.)

2019 grad here brother, I'm in the same place as you. Dread waking up every day due to toxic partner. To top it off I broke up with my girlfriend in 2019, school and college buddies have also drifted away and my current work environment + long hours has killed off all my motivation/willingness to make friends and date women. I simply do not meet people socially at all and have abandoned all my hobbies. Given up on working out and now am ridiculously out of shape. Lie in bed all day tired when not working. Don't know how I'll be in a better place but I know I just have to keep walking.

I am a 2018 graduate after 5 year law and had no clue about what's gona happen after college. Tried practicing law at lower courts and understood the hard reality of advocacy. In my town, they dont even pay the juniors. So, making money was the only aim. Found a LPO job and that's when covid hit and gladly could work from home and make money rather than staying in jobless. But it was basically a clerical/ mechanical job and there was no much joy doing it. then deep inside, i realised the need to change the course of profession and for that idk for what reason but I took LLM in IP. Had an amazing fun year and after that back to reality. Understood the reality of difficulty to get into good firms. got into a firm in chennai and they took me for granted and even almost considered me like a legal clerk and no IP work was coming in so in another 9 months, i left the office and went back home with again very little litigation experience and knowledge. stayed home for 5 months facing all the rejections and with the grace of almighty god, landed a job in the 5th month and it is a dream office to me but again, people here are too smart and i feel like they look down on me and having all the troubles. dream work is just giving me anxiety. learning things from much younger people and facing all their sarcasms and bossy attitude on us and feeling a zero somewhere but vehemently denying that and hoping for the best. Gf treats me like shit and so arrogant and i am not just blaming her solely. i am an ass also most of the time. let us live the rest now. life is for one generation. and its just blank! RELAX WE ALL WILL DIE

I can almost entirely relate. I look forward to the comments on this post, I don't even have the financial stability. I feel like an imposter on my job all the time. I never even aspired to get a tier 1 and somehow did. I thought it was a blessing, and it is in so many ways. But it comes at a price, I am barely able to get sleep, MS team calls give me a dread. I hate the people I work it because they seem to do it easily, which I have an especially hard time doing. I can't leave my job either, switching firms also does not seem to be a great solution because I reckon it is almost the same everywhere.

Hi, I am EXACTLY where you are. 2020 batch, burnt out, no will to do anything, and ofcourse - anxiety max.

I honestly think that the only way to overcome this is the way out. I am constantly reminded by the quote which goes "We earn to live, no live to earn". And hence have finally decided to quit, will be putting in my papers in the first week of December once my other job (which pays a lot less but is giving reasonable timings, weekends off, more time to spend with my family/girlfriend and some flexibility on work).

Given the financial background, I would recommend that you get out of this. Mental and physical health should be priority #1.

The only way to survive initial years is to start enjoying law. It seems it is getting difficult by the day as more and more firms / partners are solely focusing on billables. This takes away the joy of investing time on understanding an interesting proposition or doing simple research. I came from a small city and was clear that humans hunt to feed themselves. Killing more than what we need to eat is either a waste or needs to be stored well. So never overconsume. Therefore, I continued to work at a place which had a good pace, good learning, but lower earning (i.e killing enough to eat and store a little). However, I continued to save and save (as little as I could). India did well in last 15 years and so did more professionals. I now make a lot more than I need and continue to save. Does not mean I do not head out for drinks with friends or not take a holiday, all it means is I don't own a Rolex or a fancy car. I believed in FIRE even before it was a thing. Now I continue to enjoy part of my work and hate a lot of it. Of the 15 years I have worked, there were 5-7 years of extreme hard work. Hopefully I will now work lesser and enjoy more (though making less money). All I am sharing - it will get better (but as a lawyer I see even the Sr Counsels put in crazy hours, so be prepared to work hard), be at a place you learn and enjoy, save and do not over consume (you can best define it yourself), enjoy every weekend / break you can and hopefully in 8-10 years you will feel blessed for the opportunities you were offered.

So basically your cup is full. You gotta empty your cup. Buy a flat, a house, or a fancy car that will match your status 10 years down the line, or buy your family a round the country tour and vow to do that every year, or plan your wedding at a fancy 7 star off-shore destination. These sinks will drain your cup and will keep you motivated to keep bringing in the money so that you can maintain those commitments.

Else, take a 1-2 year sabbatical. Do things that come to your mind, if you fail - and end up not succeeding anywhere else, you will have your reasons to go back into law school. In my case too, when I was failing at everything else I picked up, I realized that the legal job is what's paying me best, and where I am getting the most intellectual fulfilment. If this helps you understand that only a legal job will keep your currently expanded faculties fully engaged than anything else - then you'd not consider taking a sabbatical, in which case look at 1st para again.

Or, go independent. Many of the things that don't make sense while in a job/retainership, start making sense with independent practice. lol. If you fail in it, well, you can still go back to a job.

That was one out of the three options provided. The options can be picked up as per individual's temperament.

I'll fear for the clients who receive legal opinions from lawyers who downvoted and commented on this. If law student, then I hope they learn to take things in totality and understand the substance before running their mouths.

Can relate to each and every word you have typed. I have lost all my confidence in these past few months. Not just the workload but I think my performance and ability to deliver quality work has also gone to trash. I don't enjoy my work anymore. Have been facing issues even understanding smallest of things. Feeling helpless coupled with crippling anxiety is what I deal with on a daily basis,

It’s a tough situation even at SA / PA level. many are feeling the same way as you and thinking of quitting once bonus comes. Try and take it one day at a time and try and think of something else you’d like to transition to long term. No point sticking to this just to buy time and feeling miserable throughout. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to get much better as you go.

take a home loan and trust me all that anxiety will just disappear. A big fat obligation on your monthly pay packet, can make even the dead alive. You need to get out of your cocooned existence and just 'man up' to what you call is anxiety.

Grab life by its balls or grow balls of steel and you will feel just fine.

Welcome to the club brother, most of us are sailing on the same boat. Don't let our Insta reels make you feel otherwise. No one is posting their failures and anxiety on Insta. Just stay put, this will pass. We all will thrive. Adulting is tough and I will not lie it will get tougher, but together we will thrive and we will make it past the finish line and hopefully have a great race we call life where we all share the podium. Hugs.

Feel the same way. Honestly, have also realised recently that everyone is in the same spot, which is a mess and everyone being there doesn't really help, but there's some sort of hope in numbers. Like how law school exam prep didn't seem that unnerving because everyone was around, feeling lost and scared. Yet, we laughed.

In this spot but hopeful that the clouds will clear and until then, find your thing, your happy place, your escape. Humour, art, movies, daydreaming, napping - it could be anything. Make time for it, even if that means messing up a line in that draft you were making. The line will undergo review, so don't you worry, but there's only you for you. Hope this helps!

This is so sad - both the predicament and how obviously relatable it is for so many of us. I am much older than you but when I started out I was in exactly your place. Law firms didn't work for me. Took me 3-4 years to figure that out and have enough $ to get the hell out. In-house is a great option until you know what the 'bigger' goals of your life might be (and no, you are not expected to be clear on those already. You need good and bad life experiences to come to a somewhat informed conclusion, and even so, your goals SHOULD change as you as a person grow and develop).
At any rate, every day spent in a condition like the one you are describing is a waste of your talent, energy and personality. It certainly was of mine. Wishing you good luck. Look for things that give you joy!

For those of you who have been working less than a year and are feeling overwhelmed / burnt out:
1) Understand that the work will seem tougher now than it will a few months or years from now. You will get better at it than you are today. Nothing that law firms do is rocket science, it requires a bit of practice (that's why legal work is called practice!).
2) Figure out if there are specific triggers for stress and anxiety that you can control. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, if there's one toxic person that you work with at your current place of work, that doesn't mean that you cannot/should not be at a T1 law firm at all
3) Have an open. honest conversation about how you're feeling with the people you work with. If they fall in the category 2 above, speak to their bosses (your super-bosses)
4) Remember that the law firm life is a marathon and not a sprint. There's no problem in slowing down and getting promoted a year later is better than burning out (and also better than quitting because you think that this is not for you when you could be very well suited for it)
5) Give yourself some time to figure out how good or bad the job is for you. With respect, 3-6 months, or even 1 year (from the examples in this thread) is far to little time to gather sufficient data to decide if you're made for this or not
6) Remember that it is just a job - do not tie your self worth to this alone. It should always be just a part of you. Law firms take a disproportionate amount of time out of your lives for what they give you, but you can make your peace with that if you have other things in your life
7) Make the time to ensure 6 - get a hobby (even if it was 2 hours on a weekend), make the time to work out. Don't be a vegetable outside of work hours, watching Netflix because you're too tired to do anything else. If you're in your early 20s, you can find the energy
8) Seek professional help. Seeing a therapist may give you some of the clarity you need to make decisions about your life

If I could like this post a thousand times, I would. Currently facing the exact same situation, with addition of mistreatment, abuse, manipulation at work and a partner vindictively messing with me for calling out the behaviour, which has severely impacted my mental health. Since the original comment is 2 years old, please tell me if you found a way out of this feeling and how. Would appreciate some beecon of hope or optimism

Same. Absolutely no peace of mind. Seniors have also left the team so too much responsibility, pressure and workload when i barely have any experience as an a0 and came hoping to learn. Doesn't seem like it will get any better. Fake deadlines and pressures are imposed all the time. I dont go out anywhere except work and home. Weekends go in chores/ catching up on sleep / pending work. If at all i decide to rest and not work one weekend then I have major anxiety because that means i cant catch up and this is despite working minimum 12 hours a day. I dont know how to feel motivated like this