Hi everyone, Hope you all are having a great time. This is my first time posting here so wish it doesn't get too bad for me. I work as a A1 at a good tier 2 firm. Would not crib about other stuff and jump the gun right away. I'm a short person, rather a very short guy to be frank and only in the very early 160s of a cm with shoes on and most of this is very genetic as I am very healthy and sound with few issues here and there. This one day not too long ago, in one of our first physical interactions itself I was having a very tough day with few lapses in DD which were very important but that's not the part worrying me, while the seniors were for their right frustrated and screaming at me.. two of them at once got personal and hinted at my height and how it already is a significant disadvantage for me in a competitive world and such mistakes only make me a "bigger liability". Since then although they didn't bring the issue up but that day they went on and on about my height for a considerable part of the scolding and screaming. Again I have not let my stature physically let me down ever because I always made friends with people who were more sensitive and never teased me too much aside from friendly banter at the very extreme, this holds true for both college and my school. At the same time I have always been aware of the societal perception and obsession with height and have also had periods of prolonged anxiety and self confidence after every breakup relating it to physical side of me. For the last 6-7 years however I had learnt to move on and focus on strengths. This incident I talked of in early part of para 1 has devastated and shook me again on a subject which has been cause of some mental agony in my early youth too but now I am afraid it might hamper my career and promotions as well. I talked to a few close friends and cried and wept only to get a calming closure from their end to not focus on such things and it won't have much impact apart from judgememts by few with which I must learn to deal with. Though it did help me to cope but I couldn't help but imagine what else could my best friends have said to me on such a sensitive topic while I wept onto through the phones speakers. I have been unable to sleep for 2 days now and tomorrow will be third day in a run when I work without any sleep. When I go to LinkedIn, the fear gets better of me as the only partners and GCs I see around seem to be people with atleast above average or average height as per India, while I clearly lag behind a lot even in the median range. I'm unable to get out of loop I find myself in and as it is almost 3am in the morning of this chilly Thursday in Delhi and the only warm I feel on my cheeks is the gushing of uncontrollable tears I have had and only I can imagine how scarred I feel now that I did choose to opt law, should I move towards LLM and phD as I feel teachers and professors can be short too for I myself have seen many, could I have done better had I chosen that DU North college and went ahead to study history and literature, because I now feel that corporate law is not made for me, it comes from some form of insecurity I've had my entire life and it the scars got exposed the day the two partners remotely hinted on the connection of my profession and growth with my height. Now that I feel I probably have spoken and revealed a lot already I think I might as well tell the actual height- I stand a 158cm tall and though it's not dwarfish but it's certainly a haunting nightmare for you all reading this I am sure. Please give the most blunt answers on this and will it impact my profesional trajectory in a major or even a minor way? What else fields can I choose apart from Academia to not being able to deal with this fear of mine. And a request in the end to all reading this, would not be very dicatative but kindly even in the toughest times not hit someone at an angle where you might sense that they might have been brutally hit throughout their journey already, with me it was just a one off incident which has put me into this rabbit hole of overthinking due to my inner insecurities, but my heart goes to those who might have dealt such seemingly and not wrongly intended comments on a regular basis for a long time, because I feel weak today more than ever, both on my feet and in my brain.
One of PepsiCo's most successful CEO's was Roger Enrico, who was roughly around the same height you've mentioned in your post.
A certain founding partner of a top Indian law firm that's celebrating a major anniversary milestone, is also not a giant physically, but an absolute legend in the legal fraternity.
What you do, how you do it and why you it, is what matters. Not what you look while doing it - and to those who constantly seek to belittle others by highlighting their physical appearances, believe me, they'll never get to the level of maturity that you have already reached, my friend. They're just spectators in a race that you've already won. They just don't know it yet.
Pehla serious note the Mukul Goyal joke is getting too old now and whoever this person is or are need to get away with this shameful joke.
Now to contribute from my end to the joke community, Mukul ji who else would know any better than you on “how is the weather down there”? To our knowledge aap tog legal industry ke sabse gire hue professional hai na?
It is appalling to see grown ups be so immature and go on to attack you like this. Takes a special kind of talent to be this vile and idiotic.
Can you speak to some other partner or the HR or the seniors themselves that "hey, i DO NOT appreciate this kind of remarks over something that is absolutely unrelated to the work I do. I would be happy to take criticism over the lapses that I might have made in my work but this is uncalled for and not warranted for". Because this is ridiculous. or for your own sanity, you might want to brush it aside but that will not really help ig.
Dont let these doofuses deflect you from your work and being there if you really enjoy it. Do not let them win.
The incident might have broken the floodgates of resistance that your mind has, so the issue is more deep rooted and its good you are coming out. For you its height, others have weight, yet others have skin colour - the list is endless. I think you should review whether its achieving higher professional success that is affecting you or just the the height alone in terms of appearance. Either way, change your appearance and presentation a bit - wear polished shoes, ironed shirts and good coats - some accessories also suggested. Basically, what people will remember is that this person is turned out well always. My chacha was a farmer-agriculturist, but his silk kurtas and ironed dhotis always stood out. Re: professional success, i cannot think of any profession where it is a very serious issue. I have seen engineering and MBA school mates who look like Greek gods and models, but i dont think any advantage lasts more than ten years. In fact later in your career, model and glamourous looks might actually work against. What i would have liked to see is more thought on the error due to which there was a height trigger in your mind. I think you should focus on reviewing what was the error and how you can avoid such errors in future, or more importantly, manage the fallout of the error more efficiently with maturity, enthusiasm, collaboration proactively engaging in resolving the problem till the end - even if it for other parts of the draft outside your remit, example making sure the document left on time, inquiring on client response , feedback etc.
5, 2 is ok... In a country where short and fat is fairly common among business and law firm elite, you really shouldn't worry! (Not that it should be any benchmark but since your post went there)... Younger generations are getting shorter and shorter on the average as per stats (and you see it everywhere).... With all this, really you shouldn't give a shit!... People who spoke to you about your height and considered it 'disadvantage' are complete dumbf₹#@s... Not saying that just because it was mean , it is just objectively untrue!!
100% agreed, to add to 10.0, Indian Army has minimum height requirement of a 153cm for a normal officer entry, you’re fit to enter the nation’s army if it were only about your height. Additionally I’d like to add that I like you’re self aware of your body and therefrom comes the self insecurity too, now you can’t really do too much to change your height but to feel great from within I highly recommend you start working out or just running 3-4kms if gym isn’t your thing, in 2-3 months your body will tell the difference as you’ll feel confident and good from within. Mind you nothing to do with your stature but a general recommendation for anyone with confidence issues is to get fitter from inside, fitness and your dimensions are miles apart as two separate stations. Again very difficult with law firm life but I’ve been consistently spending an hour on my health for 8 months now.
The former President of India, one of the longest serving cabinet minister of the country and a Bharat Ratna - Pranab Mukherjee was shorter than you (he was about 155 cm). He was literally a politician where looking powerful is everything to your career. Even Abdul Kalam was about the same height as you (early 160 cm). He too was the one of the greatest scientists, a President and a Bharat Ratna.
Some of the greatest dictators (citing dictators because they're literally all about power) were short - Stalin, Hitler, Churchill, Kim Jong, Lenin, Napoleon - all less than 170 cm. Even the opposite of a dictator Gandhi (or may be he was a dictator in his own way) was shorter than you.
And these people ruled entire nation states. So don't let miserable law firm low life associates tell you that height makes a person successful in the world.
Your work and the way you carry yourself will determine your success far far more.
Sri Pranab Mukarjee was from old genration but now situation in India have changed I'm 157.5 cm(5'1) People stare me at public , harassed , laughed Also I don't feel safe at workplace . No matter how you are educated , how much you earn , if you are a short men in India or any where else it will be difficult 1. People Judge you Instantly 2.Dating & Marriage Difficult 3.Some times being short you may get rejected from Job Interview 4.People will talk to you but won't consider you as a friend .
Look at Yuki Tsunoda, search him up. 5"2 in a sport like F1 among all Gora Europeans. See his interviews and body language. Indians have been raised in fear and no amount of social validation but for your self confidence in your own body will make you overcome your demons.
pS- look up videos of Kevin Hart and how he embraces his height. If you're earning 1l < in India, fuck 5"1 even if you're 4"5 you're bound to [...] my friend. May it take arrange marriage but so be it. Pick a sport, read books, travel, live life.
Thing is, do you think that the quality of your work depends on your height? If not, then keep calm and carry on. You can show the middle finger to these people later on in life.
Partners at law firms are a disgusting breed to make comments on someone’s physical appearance. Nobody can say otherwise. Sure, the pay check is huge but there is no room for humanity, or even basic human decency.
If any partners are reading this — such accounts have frightened the life out of me. You are ruining law before I even join the profession.
Dear OP, you will come out of this. Your height doesn’t matter, it should not matter to the right employers. If you can afford it, leave this job. You deserve better. And things will work out! As gruesome and cruel as this world is, you will learnt to feel confident in who you are again. Hope you come out of this phase. Much love to you.
You will make a lot of money in the legal profession. Nobody gives a flying duck about height. Are you competent enough? That's all. There are many top lawyers who are as short as a chihuahua. In a corporate boardroom nobody cares how tall you are; if you protect your clients from getting screwed - that's all it matters to build a reputation.
Having good looks always gives you an edge in professional life. But it's not that important.
Don't think about your height 24*7, it just kills your motivation more. Think about good things - think how you can improve your communication and technical skillets.
If you have enough money (read Tier 1 salary) - even if you are short/dark.
You will get a really pretty, fair white and tall wife. You can laugh at those who mocked you. The issue of height can be neagted by having good salaries.
Dark/white color doesn't matter for guys - it mostly affects women in marriage market - but height does matter. Women prefer someone who is taller than them.
But salary (for guys) kills all physical structure issues you have. Not the same for women.
It's unfortunate that I have to tell this here - but it's a social reality. Across the world - people are colorist (affects women) and mens height does matter.
Marriage/Dating Market is based on personal preferences - but not the same in professional life.
Please don’t cry. Here’s sending you a virtual bouquet of flowers for good cheer. Honestly, report those guys who made insinuating comments against you. Show them who’s boss. As a girl, I can state that height doesn’t matter in a guy. What matters is that the guy should be caring, kind and respectful. You are having a good job and you seem to be a good guy - with these traits you’ll be a popular candidate. Also, it’s laughable when some people criticise based on height when the fact of the matter is that most Indians are shorter than an average Western European but they do not to criticise us in this respect. Dress well, be confident, have a positive attitude, look at the bright side - you’ll get a girl who loves you and not a superficial feature you have no control over. Also, 160 cm is not short from an Indian perspective!
Separately, think of Shivaji Maharaj and Sachin Tendulkar - two great men who won against their opponents.
If the folks who harassed you are reading this - hurting someone doesn’t make you a man. If you want to stand tall, height isn’t important but character is. That is standing tall - so the harassers, you are very short for me!
Had it not been your height, they would have made an issue out of some other insignificant and unrelated aspect because THATS WHAT BULLIES DO! I say either ignore it or turn it into a joke. I would just laugh at that and say something like “that makes no sense to me”. They will only be encouraged do more of this if they see that they are able to get under your skin. Perhaps, they sensed your insecurity and chose to pick on you for that. It’s pretty scummy, but don’t let them bring you down.
If you want to leave your job, then do it for the right reason- better package, better team/ work. You will find such people everywhere you go. You can’t keep switching jobs.
Forget professionally, I get no matches on tinder when I put in my real height but got 20+ asa I changed it to 6 feet. Sad reality bhai, hang in there. Ek haath chordena agli baar bola toh.
Hello R and others, I am the guy who called out initially, I have never moved by so many radiating responses ever guys, this thread on this platform has been a blessing, hugs and blessings to all of you. Yes, I am better than before and will try to soak in all the wonderful suggestions you people have put ahead. I actually did open up with my fellow associates and friends and it did help me out a lot, while I respect your opinion of not taking bullshit but I would like to give the benefit of doubt to my partners too because I believe things done in work pressure shouldn't be made a benchmark to judge or complain against anyone, they have largely remained cold but since then even in tougher stricter timelines they did not go down personal abuse rabbithole against me, that being said I would as mentioned before definately not tolerate unnecessary sidelining on such issues if it were to happen ever. This thread might be a big personality change for me folks, lots of light and hugs to you all, you all took pieces of my heart and the blood in my body is flowing only from the warmth you people have shown. May you all be forever blessed and so be everyone around you. Also special thanks to Mukul Goyal because I was going through the responses and it was getting rather intense and the comment did crack me up to be very honest. Very holistic my first time here turned out to be.
Average thing doesnt make sense in India. Average income of an Indian is $2 per day but dont compare it with our pay. I have noticed that height differs across social class. For upper middle class men below the age of 35 the average height would be somewhere around 172 cms.
This is where it begins. I can already imagine you as an extremely powerful leader who would invade a neighbour for some land or the Chair of a giant corporation that claims it does Gods work. You are destined for extraordinary greatness. Just please avoid lift insoles.
Hope you all are having a great time.
This is my first time posting here so wish it doesn't get too bad for me. I work as a A1 at a good tier 2 firm. Would not crib about other stuff and jump the gun right away. I'm a short person, rather a very short guy to be frank and only in the very early 160s of a cm with shoes on and most of this is very genetic as I am very healthy and sound with few issues here and there. This one day not too long ago, in one of our first physical interactions itself I was having a very tough day with few lapses in DD which were very important but that's not the part worrying me, while the seniors were for their right frustrated and screaming at me.. two of them at once got personal and hinted at my height and how it already is a significant disadvantage for me in a competitive world and such mistakes only make me a "bigger liability". Since then although they didn't bring the issue up but that day they went on and on about my height for a considerable part of the scolding and screaming. Again I have not let my stature physically let me down ever because I always made friends with people who were more sensitive and never teased me too much aside from friendly banter at the very extreme, this holds true for both college and my school. At the same time I have always been aware of the societal perception and obsession with height and have also had periods of prolonged anxiety and self confidence after every breakup relating it to physical side of me. For the last 6-7 years however I had learnt to move on and focus on strengths.
This incident I talked of in early part of para 1 has devastated and shook me again on a subject which has been cause of some mental agony in my early youth too but now I am afraid it might hamper my career and promotions as well. I talked to a few close friends and cried and wept only to get a calming closure from their end to not focus on such things and it won't have much impact apart from judgememts by few with which I must learn to deal with. Though it did help me to cope but I couldn't help but imagine what else could my best friends have said to me on such a sensitive topic while I wept onto through the phones speakers. I have been unable to sleep for 2 days now and tomorrow will be third day in a run when I work without any sleep. When I go to LinkedIn, the fear gets better of me as the only partners and GCs I see around seem to be people with atleast above average or average height as per India, while I clearly lag behind a lot even in the median range. I'm unable to get out of loop I find myself in and as it is almost 3am in the morning of this chilly Thursday in Delhi and the only warm I feel on my cheeks is the gushing of uncontrollable tears I have had and only I can imagine how scarred I feel now that I did choose to opt law, should I move towards LLM and phD as I feel teachers and professors can be short too for I myself have seen many, could I have done better had I chosen that DU North college and went ahead to study history and literature, because I now feel that corporate law is not made for me, it comes from some form of insecurity I've had my entire life and it the scars got exposed the day the two partners remotely hinted on the connection of my profession and growth with my height. Now that I feel I probably have spoken and revealed a lot already I think I might as well tell the actual height- I stand a 158cm tall and though it's not dwarfish but it's certainly a haunting nightmare for you all reading this I am sure. Please give the most blunt answers on this and will it impact my profesional trajectory in a major or even a minor way? What else fields can I choose apart from Academia to not being able to deal with this fear of mine. And a request in the end to all reading this, would not be very dicatative but kindly even in the toughest times not hit someone at an angle where you might sense that they might have been brutally hit throughout their journey already, with me it was just a one off incident which has put me into this rabbit hole of overthinking due to my inner insecurities, but my heart goes to those who might have dealt such seemingly and not wrongly intended comments on a regular basis for a long time, because I feel weak today more than ever, both on my feet and in my brain.
A certain founding partner of a top Indian law firm that's celebrating a major anniversary milestone, is also not a giant physically, but an absolute legend in the legal fraternity.
What you do, how you do it and why you it, is what matters. Not what you look while doing it - and to those who constantly seek to belittle others by highlighting their physical appearances, believe me, they'll never get to the level of maturity that you have already reached, my friend. They're just spectators in a race that you've already won. They just don't know it yet.
Now to contribute from my end to the joke community, Mukul ji who else would know any better than you on “how is the weather down there”? To our knowledge aap tog legal industry ke sabse gire hue professional hai na?
Bhak bsdk!
Can you speak to some other partner or the HR or the seniors themselves that "hey, i DO NOT appreciate this kind of remarks over something that is absolutely unrelated to the work I do. I would be happy to take criticism over the lapses that I might have made in my work but this is uncalled for and not warranted for". Because this is ridiculous.
or for your own sanity, you might want to brush it aside but that will not really help ig.
Dont let these doofuses deflect you from your work and being there if you really enjoy it. Do not let them win.
I am 189 cms. Hamne bhi kuch ukhada nahi hai life main. Its your ability that matters.
Its not the armed forces.
It's your roar which counts not your height...
Some of the greatest dictators (citing dictators because they're literally all about power) were short - Stalin, Hitler, Churchill, Kim Jong, Lenin, Napoleon - all less than 170 cm. Even the opposite of a dictator Gandhi (or may be he was a dictator in his own way) was shorter than you.
And these people ruled entire nation states. So don't let miserable law firm low life associates tell you that height makes a person successful in the world.
Your work and the way you carry yourself will determine your success far far more.
People stare me at public , harassed , laughed Also I don't feel safe at workplace . No matter how you are educated , how much you earn , if you are a short men in India or any where else it will be difficult
1. People Judge you Instantly
2.Dating & Marriage Difficult
3.Some times being short you may get rejected from Job Interview
4.People will talk to you but won't consider you as a friend .
pS- look up videos of Kevin Hart and how he embraces his height. If you're earning 1l < in India, fuck 5"1 even if you're 4"5 you're bound to [...] my friend. May it take arrange marriage but so be it. Pick a sport, read books, travel, live life.
There are other ways to deal with this as well..
You could always ask that senior in a lighter vein.. "Sir / Madam, aapko lambe hone ka kuch faayda ho raha hai kya aajkal?"
During my LLM, some Germans used to call me 'Little Indian Fellow'.
No matter how tall or short you are, prejudice never ends. You must call it out and be defiant.
These are ways these people, be it Indians or others, use to psychologically keep people they deem inferior at a place they deem fit for them.
if you are eligible to join the army I am sure you can do the job of a lawyer (at least the physical part of it)
If any partners are reading this — such accounts have frightened the life out of me. You are ruining law before I even join the profession.
Dear OP, you will come out of this. Your height doesn’t matter, it should not matter to the right employers. If you can afford it, leave this job. You deserve better. And things will work out! As gruesome and cruel as this world is, you will learnt to feel confident in who you are again. Hope you come out of this phase. Much love to you.
He makes around 25 to 30 crore. Clients love him. Strict boss. Almost all journals rank him.
Guess his physical structure? He is really short - Less than 5 feet.
Take him as inspiration.
If you are intelligent/capable enough.
You will make a lot of money in the legal profession. Nobody gives a flying duck about height. Are you competent enough? That's all. There are many top lawyers who are as short as a chihuahua. In a corporate boardroom nobody cares how tall you are; if you protect your clients from getting screwed - that's all it matters to build a reputation.
Having good looks always gives you an edge in professional life. But it's not that important.
Don't think about your height 24*7, it just kills your motivation more. Think about good things - think how you can improve your communication and technical skillets.
If you have enough money (read Tier 1 salary) - even if you are short/dark.
You will get a really pretty, fair white and tall wife. You can laugh at those who mocked you. The issue of height can be neagted by having good salaries.
Dark/white color doesn't matter for guys - it mostly affects women in marriage market - but height does matter. Women prefer someone who is taller than them.
But salary (for guys) kills all physical structure issues you have. Not the same for women.
It's unfortunate that I have to tell this here - but it's a social reality. Across the world - people are colorist (affects women) and mens height does matter.
Marriage/Dating Market is based on personal preferences - but not the same in professional life.
Separately, think of Shivaji Maharaj and Sachin Tendulkar - two great men who won against their opponents.
Perhaps, they sensed your insecurity and chose to pick on you for that. It’s pretty scummy, but don’t let them bring you down.
If you want to leave your job, then do it for the right reason- better package, better team/ work. You will find such people everywhere you go. You can’t keep switching jobs.
height js nothing
health yes but not height
you are your own demon
be happy and glad
Just kidding.
I have never moved by so many radiating responses ever guys, this thread on this platform has been a blessing, hugs and blessings to all of you. Yes, I am better than before and will try to soak in all the wonderful suggestions you people have put ahead. I actually did open up with my fellow associates and friends and it did help me out a lot, while I respect your opinion of not taking bullshit but I would like to give the benefit of doubt to my partners too because I believe things done in work pressure shouldn't be made a benchmark to judge or complain against anyone, they have largely remained cold but since then even in tougher stricter timelines they did not go down personal abuse rabbithole against me, that being said I would as mentioned before definately not tolerate unnecessary sidelining on such issues if it were to happen ever.
This thread might be a big personality change for me folks, lots of light and hugs to you all, you all took pieces of my heart and the blood in my body is flowing only from the warmth you people have shown. May you all be forever blessed and so be everyone around you. Also special thanks to Mukul Goyal because I was going through the responses and it was getting rather intense and the comment did crack me up to be very honest. Very holistic my first time here turned out to be.
Nuff said!!