Break-out sessions turn into ranting sessions - where I hear every bit of detail. Why? So that I can steer clear and avoid standing in harm's way. I find great comfort in knowing I was not party to the debauchery my colleague was subjected to from the higher ups. But hey. I come up with creative one liners to conclude the ranting session. Check these out - 'Ah, life goes on; These people will never change; Important that you are happy in the long run; Do not let them pull you down ...'. I am Aristotle.. right?
Anyway, my colleague would get back to work feeling horrible. As far as I am concerned, he shouldn't feel bad at all. He was patiently heard, after all. He shall not question my generosity, for he will have nobody else to turn to, next time he wished to narrate.>
We are dependable beings, much before you were born. What you hear from your colleagues are not mere incidents or events, which you believe require your expertise. Nobody cares about you, really. It is about them - allow them the space to grieve. The incident or event does not matter. Relate to them emotionally. Open your mind to how a given situation must have made your colleague feel; rather than simply muting yourself, acting distant, giving gyaan on how you think it should be done or how you would have done it.>
Here's a fellow human being, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Please do not let him suffer. Please do not say things like - 'it is a phase' / 'keep yourself busy, this too shall pass'. All that your colleague wants, is for you to understand how a given situation made him feel. That is it.
In these moments, make yourself available in a way that your colleague wants. Perhaps he is done with people belittling him? Maybe he just wants you to shutup and listen and feel what he is going through? Well - then you shutup and listen and make the effort to understand and feel what he must be going through.
You made the effort to understand him. That's enough for him, really. Everyone deserves to be emotionally heard, to be reminded how important he is, despite all his flaws. Perhaps he was never heard as a child? Always bullied? Always thought sentimental and emotional talk is utter BS, because nobody had the time to listen to him?
You, putting in the effort, instills confidence and a sense of self-worth in him. You made him feel important; and worthy of being understood. Now give yourself a pat on your back. You built a connection with a fellow human being.
Anyway, my colleague would get back to work feeling horrible. As far as I am concerned, he shouldn't feel bad at all. He was patiently heard, after all. He shall not question my generosity, for he will have nobody else to turn to, next time he wished to narrate.>
We are dependable beings, much before you were born. What you hear from your colleagues are not mere incidents or events, which you believe require your expertise. Nobody cares about you, really. It is about them - allow them the space to grieve. The incident or event does not matter. Relate to them emotionally. Open your mind to how a given situation must have made your colleague feel; rather than simply muting yourself, acting distant, giving gyaan on how you think it should be done or how you would have done it.>
Here's a fellow human being, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Please do not let him suffer. Please do not say things like - 'it is a phase' / 'keep yourself busy, this too shall pass'. All that your colleague wants, is for you to understand how a given situation made him feel. That is it.
In these moments, make yourself available in a way that your colleague wants. Perhaps he is done with people belittling him? Maybe he just wants you to shutup and listen and feel what he is going through? Well - then you shutup and listen and make the effort to understand and feel what he must be going through.
You made the effort to understand him. That's enough for him, really. Everyone deserves to be emotionally heard, to be reminded how important he is, despite all his flaws. Perhaps he was never heard as a child? Always bullied? Always thought sentimental and emotional talk is utter BS, because nobody had the time to listen to him?
You, putting in the effort, instills confidence and a sense of self-worth in him. You made him feel important; and worthy of being understood. Now give yourself a pat on your back. You built a connection with a fellow human being.