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Although, it's not necessary, i blocked her without replying anything.
I just pointed out there are also enough mean and opportunistic women out there who'll take advantage of your position.
Don't fall for that trap guys/girl.
Tbh, after that event i was scared as well.
And it turned out I've been single forever after that because my trusting ability got a big hit.
Note- i do regret some good moments in my law school.. guys it doesn't matter if you like someone from senior or junior.
It's person to person things. That being said make sure you save yourself from those toxic senior or honey trap juniors.
Now you are calling adult women as someone unable to form thier rational opinions. They need to ask someone else a consent for indulging in a relationship.
Loved the way you tweeked subtle misogynistic paternalism under the garb of feminism.
You are like the men who tell woman to not go out because it's not safe and in the notion of caring them shows off power.
Every relationship in law school gives rise to wierd looks and gossips. Why should you care.
You are nowhere a feminist, aunty. You are judgemental woman judging other girls for having consensual relationships.
And the point is not that it should be acceptable for fifth year girls to date freshers. It’s that gender is part of the power equation.
Doubtless there are completely healthy and consensual may-December romances. But I have to say in five years or law school- I haven’t seen a single one that didn’t end in disaster or worse.
Educating young people about toxic relationship patterns isn’t necessarily contrary to sex positive feminism.
Many woman are attracted to older boys/men. Some maybe attracted to younger guys. But it's rare. And if you are attracted go and date.
Also Law School dating, the age gap of 5 years is less. Once you see the real world, where gaps between guy and girl upto 10 years is normal. You will understand that law school dating is not creepy.
Age gaps of 20 + years (between guy and girl) is a bit uncomfortable to many. Have to admit. But these weddings happen for other reasons (guy is rich/knows to attract girls etc)
Marriage or Hook ups are a personal choice. Stop slut shaming first year girls for doing whatever the hell they want.
Never expected Indian Aunties and Uncles on Legally India. You are nobody to question anyone's relationship. Very sad to see that you (a girl) is doing it. No wonder many woman say, a woman is a woman's biggest enemy. Won't blame them.
As long as a relationship is consensual, nothing else matters.
For everyone else: just try to be a nice person with ethical boundaries.
While this story is certainly exponentially more likely to happen as in the question, because men (and especially senior men) have a balance of power tilted in their favour by default, it does cut across gender lines, albeit infrequently. I was on the short end of the stick as a man during my law school: got foul mouthed into oblivion to the point that it became uncomfortable to talk to anyone - senior or junior, or even sit in class. What was a lovely college experience turned into one of the most traumatic years of my life.
Victim card being handed out free.
I come from a traditional and old school family, i still remember vividly that one junior offered me to hook up with her if i get her an internship at the place i was working.
And yeah obviously i am senior and i toxic and Junior is being unduly pressured from me.
You can see 25 year old girls marrying older men (40's to 60's)with children.
Ever seen the opposite? Very rare.
Also if gender was not part of the equation and everything was as kosher as you say-you’d see a lot more senior girls also dating first years.
Man I was in like third year and the thought of dating someone fresh out of high school was kinda creepy. How one thinks a fifth year dating a newbie is not problematic is bizarre to me.
I do agree with you - what you suggested is highly prevalent but at the same time it is important to highlight that even in such cases factors such as power differential, influence, naivety of juniors contribute and facilitate dating between seniors and juniors. Ask yourself - how is it that everytime a new batch joins a bunch of freshers start dating seniors and as they adapt to the law school, they break up, as you suggested, within months? Why does this not happen between other batches? It's because the freshers are v naive and easy to influence and hence exploit.
It's exactly stuff like you suggested (seniors making life easy) that the seniors are well aware of and use it to their advantage to exploit.
Again, I'm not saying I disagree with you, some relationships are genuinely like you suggested. But even the reason how such relationships come into existence in the first place is precisely because of power differential and the opportunity to exploit.
Comment 1.1 says girls are sentient and autonomous beings who can do who they please.
Comments 2, 3, and 5 go the opposite route and say that it's the guys who are bullies, creeps, manipulative, MCPs and that these helpless girls are at their mercy to have a decent law school experience, and that the girls don't really have a choice.
Let's just call things out for what they really are. And that is, in most cases, these are symbiotic relationships, irrespective of the genders of the junior and senior. If you are dating a decent senior, it is going to make life easier for you, be it getting into committees, knowing how to get around with the uni authorities, understanding how to complete assignments efficiently, etc. For the senior, it's just that your batchmates know you too well, and people may not really want to date someone who knows them that well. When dating a junior, your partner essentially thinks that they are dating someone who is perfect, and some people just like to feel that way in a relationship. This sham continues for 6-12 months, by when the junior has realised that the senior is just as flawed and insecure as them, or perhaps more, and by that time, the junior has a decent social life their own independent of that senior, and that is when these relationships end.
Money trap
Senior trap
Age gap relationships are not only common in law schools, observe any industry any institution. You will see girls going for older boys/men.
Observe Movie industry (Bollywood/Hollywood) Business, you can easily find many couples where the guy is 10 to 15 years older. More than just the age numbers, it's the maturity which matters.
The age gap is not always exploitative or toxic.
When I saw this question, I grimaced, fearing that the comments would be negative towards the junior girls. However, I am relieved to see the comments calling out the predatory nature of senior boys. 17, 18 and 19 year olds are impressionable. Entering a strange new environment of law school is daunting. Boys at my uni would carefully evaluate the physical appearance and dresses of fresher girls. They had the galls to speak out loud that after seeing the same old faces for months on end, it's exciting to see new girls. It's almost like they are hungry. Its Creepy. Its scary. The lascivious nature of the comments is obvious. It wasn't some harmless, fun boy-talk. It was pure objectification of young girls who were full of anticipation about studying law in NLU and excelling in their field.
Then these boys would help the fresher girls 'navigate the law school'. Some were really genuine and kind, thanks ONLY to them. But most others were excited to associate with new girls. And these naive girls barely knew the person. It's hard to decipher a senior's intention in a few encounters. Of course, the seniors would empathise with the juniors and appear all wise and intellectual. And isn't one of the coolest things for a new junior in college is to be within the sacred, enigmatic inner circles of seniors? Having a 'smart', 'kind' and 'intellectual' senior as an 'ally' and a 'safe harbour' in a strange environment is comforting. Then the power dynamics come into play. This whole power dynamics thing forms the essence of toxicity in relations.
I have a general observation here. Most of these senior boys I talked about would make the junior girl feel as if she is vulnerable and extremely important to him, cute but too pure for this world, in need of guidance from a senior boy and lost without the guidance of the said boy. She has potential but that potential can be untapped only with the boy's gracious help. Then the classic gaslighting follows.
I literally feel anxious, regretful, dazed and and panicky writing this.
Girls, please don't rush into any relationship in college. If the relationship turns sour, some men have a tendency to foul mouth women and talk the nastiest of things among their bro circle. This is traumatic. You will have to face that person for the next 3-4 years. The friend circle of senior men is no less traumatising in such cases. Talk to seniors, make friends with them. Its good to have a nice rapport with them. But DON'T RUSH into relationship or hook ups with them. Always give priority to your mental health, ladies. Sorry to say but law school is not the safest of all spaces.
Seniors, grow some spine, be more humane and don't manipulate and mentally harass the naive juniors. It's 2021. Objectifying women is so 2008. Manipulating junior girls world inflate your ego and make you feel super cool but actually, this only earns you a spot as the Honorary Mention in the List of Predatory Men.
With love,
A final year girl who is in anguish and curses herself for all the missed occasions she could have helped the women around her.