I can understand what you must be going through having went through the same a few years ago. There are a few points that can probably help:
i) Sit down with yourself and rejoice whole-heartedly. You have managed to secure a job in the current market. It is no mean feat. You maybe lucky but that was not a consideration for your hiring. You did not have the moots or the papers but they matter very little once you are on the job. The recruiters might have seen some qualities in you that you might not be aware of. Probably, you are enthusiastic about work and are keen. That is must-have quality for a first year associate. So, do not put it down to you being lucky, put it down to the person you are.
ii) The studs don't survive because their egos can't take the everyday slogging. Prepare yourself mentally for the long haul. Take care of your physical and mental health. Get into a routine of working out and meditating. It will help you immensely when the partner/SA is barking at you incessantly for a deliverable that was due a day ago. Chalk out a way to keep your calm under pressure cooker situations. Such people are always valued.
iii) With respect to writing skills, you are not going to be writing blogs on the job. You will certainly be drafting stuff but you will have precedents for that. Keep reading those fiction books and read as many as possible, because once here you will not have the chance. You can read some non-fiction too. A person who knows more than just their profession is always good to have. It will help you build relationships. The partner/SA barking at you might find common interest with you which will help in the relationship bit.
iv) Start reading the pink papers, if possible. A corporate lawyer who is aware of what is happening around him is the best kind of corporate lawyer. Read about the transactions that are happening. You might just get to work for the same clients once you start working. Get a crash course in basis economics and financials.
v) Finally, enjoy yourself! This time will not come back. Shed the guilt. Invest heavily in your mental and physical well-being. The time that you invest now will pay you handsomely once you are there.
i) Sit down with yourself and rejoice whole-heartedly. You have managed to secure a job in the current market. It is no mean feat. You maybe lucky but that was not a consideration for your hiring. You did not have the moots or the papers but they matter very little once you are on the job. The recruiters might have seen some qualities in you that you might not be aware of. Probably, you are enthusiastic about work and are keen. That is must-have quality for a first year associate. So, do not put it down to you being lucky, put it down to the person you are.
ii) The studs don't survive because their egos can't take the everyday slogging. Prepare yourself mentally for the long haul. Take care of your physical and mental health. Get into a routine of working out and meditating. It will help you immensely when the partner/SA is barking at you incessantly for a deliverable that was due a day ago. Chalk out a way to keep your calm under pressure cooker situations. Such people are always valued.
iii) With respect to writing skills, you are not going to be writing blogs on the job. You will certainly be drafting stuff but you will have precedents for that. Keep reading those fiction books and read as many as possible, because once here you will not have the chance. You can read some non-fiction too. A person who knows more than just their profession is always good to have. It will help you build relationships. The partner/SA barking at you might find common interest with you which will help in the relationship bit.
iv) Start reading the pink papers, if possible. A corporate lawyer who is aware of what is happening around him is the best kind of corporate lawyer. Read about the transactions that are happening. You might just get to work for the same clients once you start working. Get a crash course in basis economics and financials.
v) Finally, enjoy yourself! This time will not come back. Shed the guilt. Invest heavily in your mental and physical well-being. The time that you invest now will pay you handsomely once you are there.