My parents and family is really sweet. Past 2 years they became miserable and is forcing me to get married. I don't have a boyfriend. So arranged marriage is the way out. Without my consent they even started a matrimony account. How do I manage them? Our relationship has strained due to this single issue.
Check up your savings. If you have joint account/s with your folks, separate those. Find out places to stay, if you have to move out. Whether within your town/ city, or otherwise, is upto you.
Do not underestimate just how expensive it is to barely stay afloat, even if all your expenses are stripped down to pure basic necessities.
One does not often realise how expensive stuff is, when living with family.
Just as a disclaimer, I am in no way suggesting that you just pack up your belongings and leave. Your parents are in picture, they might have different life views than you, but it probably doesn't mean that they dislike you
The reason I focus on finances in the first paragraph is for you to be able to take a stand for yourself, without being pressurised owing to lack of immediately and exclusively available funds.
Never marry under pressure. It ruins more than one life.
It is easy to run down a line of thought, but realistic and necessary to be aware of the financial aspects
I am actually the one who wrote the financial aspect comment.
I personally know a guy who married under pressure since he, for reasons best known to him, could not stand up for himself on this point. His entire financial aspects were enmeshed with those of his parents. He has always worked for his father's business.
He is openly miserable. The wife is unhappy since her husband is resentful towards her, even at family functions. The couple ended up having a kid, again, due to pressure from the social circle, though the guy was initially reluctant. The wife thought the kid would be able to complete their family or whatever, and caved in. The kid is now almost nine and a splitting copy of the guy. The guy, unfortunately, doesn't care much for the kid, provides money, but that's it. Wife drags along through life. It is evident enough for extended relatives to know.
The guy is otherwise decent, as is his wife. As are the parents. The marriage however has definitely been a bad ride for the guy and the wife.
All could have been avoided if he had independent thoughts and finances.
Just sit down take Pen and paper and list down reasons to your parents has to why you don't want to get married. I guess writing a letter will help you to convince them and solve this problem.
PS I would advice you not leave or home or do any kind of drama stated by others you just need a conversation with your parents.
show them broken marriages which abound in law firms, then say that you will only marry someone when you find them on your own, then the pressure will shift from marriage to dating
Don't worry, just say no! MARRIAGE is a highly overrated institution, infact it causes way more complexities than you would have ever faced in your life. You marry someone you love but there is no surety that this person you love with all that you've got will love you back the same way always and forever. They will get bored and end up cheating on you...you won't even know what's happening behind your back with these crazy law firm work timing! I hope you get a better partner. But this is just one of the complexities and there is alot more shit that comes along with getting married, get ready to go through hard times if you really want to get married.
They think this is good for you and they will be stressed out and will stress you out until you become old enough for them to give up. Honestly, the only way is to move far away. You don't want to reach a point where you get tired of the pressure and bad relations and marry someone you don't like that much. Remember all their friends and family make them feel like they owe it to you to make you marry. The sweet ones are the hardest to manage because you are much more likely to give in and risk an unhappy marriage which is not worth it for anything or anyone. You need time to figure out what kind of people and relationships you like first.
Do not underestimate just how expensive it is to barely stay afloat, even if all your expenses are stripped down to pure basic necessities.
One does not often realise how expensive stuff is, when living with family.
Just as a disclaimer, I am in no way suggesting that you just pack up your belongings and leave. Your parents are in picture, they might have different life views than you, but it probably doesn't mean that they dislike you
The reason I focus on finances in the first paragraph is for you to be able to take a stand for yourself, without being pressurised owing to lack of immediately and exclusively available funds.
Never marry under pressure. It ruins more than one life.
Itna drama kyu krna .
It is easy to run down a line of thought, but realistic and necessary to be aware of the financial aspects
I am actually the one who wrote the financial aspect comment.
I personally know a guy who married under pressure since he, for reasons best known to him, could not stand up for himself on this point. His entire financial aspects were enmeshed with those of his parents. He has always worked for his father's business.
He is openly miserable. The wife is unhappy since her husband is resentful towards her, even at family functions. The couple ended up having a kid, again, due to pressure from the social circle, though the guy was initially reluctant. The wife thought the kid would be able to complete their family or whatever, and caved in. The kid is now almost nine and a splitting copy of the guy. The guy, unfortunately, doesn't care much for the kid, provides money, but that's it. Wife drags along through life. It is evident enough for extended relatives to know.
The guy is otherwise decent, as is his wife. As are the parents. The marriage however has definitely been a bad ride for the guy and the wife.
All could have been avoided if he had independent thoughts and finances.
PS I would advice you not leave or home or do any kind of drama stated by others you just need a conversation with your parents.
1. Leave the house and live on your own. Get them off your backs.
2. Look for a bf.
3. Tell them you're lesbian. They'll stop looking for a guy for you... unless you think that will that only strengthen their resolve. 🤔
Only if you want to get married faster.
OP, you could surely find a better platform for this discussion. Respectfully, LI is not the correct platform.
I hope God has some good plans for us.
Hugs
MARRIAGE is a highly overrated institution, infact it causes way more complexities than you would have ever faced in your life. You marry someone you love but there is no surety that this person you love with all that you've got will love you back the same way always and forever. They will get bored and end up cheating on you...you won't even know what's happening behind your back with these crazy law firm work timing! I hope you get a better partner. But this is just one of the complexities and there is alot more shit that comes along with getting married, get ready to go through hard times if you really want to get married.