I'm a 32 year old woman, working as a PA at a T1 law firm in Mumbai. During my time at law school, I had dated quite a few guys but nothing worked out long-term. While it is true that I make enough money to satiate most of my needs and wants, sometimes I find life to be so purposeless.
I tried using plenty of dating apps but most of the men there are so creepy that there's no way I could ever interact with them. I always wanted to be a mother and have my own biological children. Dating my colleagues is not possible because my firm has a rule against two people working who are related in any manner. Another issue is, I know how restrictive marriage can be for women. There's so many men who put up a fake mask to impress girls, and show their true self later on. Pokey in-laws is another burden I'd like to avoid.
Lately, I have been thinking of two options. Firstly, having children out of wedlock. Apart from societal constraints, I feel it'd be hard to raise a child as a single parent who is almost always occupied with work. The other one is, to wait and give more time, but the biological clock is already ticking for me.
Hi, I m 28M and litigating. I am trying to shift to corporate law firms. If you wish, we can talk it out. I have never gotten a chance to explore corporate law and firms and earn good money. Litigation in small districts is very restrictive. We dont even have good Forums and Tribunals. There are a lot of reasons which coerced me to resign from litigation. Now I am considering to move to a Metro and intern/ Join boutique . Maybe we can share our journey.
If only proper channels were that smooth. If only proper channels / friends helped you enough, you would not have been posting here anonymously like a sheep haha.
Goodluck, I hope you dont ever find someone and die working in that T-1 Cabin.
Honestly, I've heard it does get harder for women who are having highly successful careers to find a partner as they progress and it's very unfortunate. I feel there's nothing more gratifying than having your partner succeed and ideally you too with her.
I guess there's probably no one shot solution for this other than keeping an open mind and hope for things to work out.
Thanks! Ideally looking for someone from the legal circle but not sure about my chances. Age difference isn't an issue for me, unless it is way too much.
You seem really nice. Maybe if I was older we would've had a chance(haha, just kidding). But I'm sure you know that it's really hard to find someone smart to date and obviously if someone's not as smart or smarter, things just starts getting boring after a point.
It's much harder to raise a child with a deadweight partner. If you have supportive family or friends, you could actually go ahead and do it. There are women all over India who are doing this with artificial insemination now. People will judge if they want but personally I think women who don't wait for men to start family are amaze.
wanting a partner to share the child rearing burden, focus doesnt seem to be on having a meaningful time with partner but more on sharing caring responsibilities
So many of us want a child during our thirties. It's a natural feeling. Also, y'know how hard it is to be a single mom who works overtime almost daily? This is why a two-parent family is essential to raise a child.
What is wrong with people on LI? A woman is sharing her experience (which is a reality for many many people in our field) and seeking genuine advice and this thread is filled with shit comments from retarded kids asking for internships and toxic men finding imaginary red flags. |
If you cannot provide any meaningful inputs to OP, at least refrain from shit-posting on a thread like this.
Hi OP. I am an RP at the same firm, gurgaon office though. I understand where you are coming. I had similar issues for the longest time, although I never felt alone - my friends and family love me :) I did however feel that I will not find someone who vibes with me. I went berserk on tinder, meeting 1 new person every week on an average for an entire year. Those were great times. As cocky as it may sound, I was having a blast! But ofcourse I wasnt ready to commit to just anyone. I finally finallt met someone when I was 33. I have been dating for 2 years now and have moved in with her. All during the aforesaid 33 years, i have made unconventional choices, and have been judged, but I didnt care much.
Point I am trying to make - go with option 1, have a baby alone. That will be a lot easier to manage than you think it is. I am assuming you have a family (retired mom dad would be best) close or at least who can relocate for sometime, after your maternity leave ends. Having a baby will be immensely immensely satisfying.
Option 2 - that you can anyways do even after having the baby alone. If you are destined to find the right guy, you will find him before or after option 1. Shouldnt make a difference.
Yes sure, any unmarried woman looking for advice and having genuine concerns about marriage is a covert narcissist, thanks to the diagnosis of our in-house psychiatrist on LI!
I tried using plenty of dating apps but most of the men there are so creepy that there's no way I could ever interact with them. I always wanted to be a mother and have my own biological children. Dating my colleagues is not possible because my firm has a rule against two people working who are related in any manner. Another issue is, I know how restrictive marriage can be for women. There's so many men who put up a fake mask to impress girls, and show their true self later on. Pokey in-laws is another burden I'd like to avoid.
Lately, I have been thinking of two options. Firstly, having children out of wedlock. Apart from societal constraints, I feel it'd be hard to raise a child as a single parent who is almost always occupied with work. The other one is, to wait and give more time, but the biological clock is already ticking for me.
If you would like to talk further - https://t.me/lawfirm4
https://www.secretmessage.link/secret/655d9519e1c2d/
(By the way, telegram can be anonymous too. It does not have glitches)
Goodluck, I hope you dont ever find someone and die working in that T-1 Cabin.
I guess there's probably no one shot solution for this other than keeping an open mind and hope for things to work out.
I really hope it does for you.
Good luck
wanting a partner to share the child rearing burden, focus doesnt seem to be on having a meaningful time with partner but more on sharing caring responsibilities
you are financially independent, you do not need societal approval to make your life choices, be whoever you want to be
work, dont work, be a mother, dont be a mother, it is upto you, dont let others or anyone else decide for you
If you cannot provide any meaningful inputs to OP, at least refrain from shit-posting on a thread like this.
Point I am trying to make - go with option 1, have a baby alone. That will be a lot easier to manage than you think it is. I am assuming you have a family (retired mom dad would be best) close or at least who can relocate for sometime, after your maternity leave ends. Having a baby will be immensely immensely satisfying.
Option 2 - that you can anyways do even after having the baby alone. If you are destined to find the right guy, you will find him before or after option 1. Shouldnt make a difference.
I know of a CAM partner who wanted a family and had a kid through surrogacy without settling down with a guy.