Okay, I have a habit of overthinking again and again, if someone shouts at me, talks rudely or humiliates me. Basically the entire day is gone. I loose all interest and concentration for work. I just wanna run home, dumb-scroll till I sleep just to distract my mind from the incident. Most incidents are gone in a day though some remain for two-three days a minimum. I tried sharing with my friends but they are busy as well and tbh I feel like I am just whining. Therapy takes a lot of time and money. At this point I know no matter what I do, how good I become, I cannot expect everyone to never shout at me or humiliate me or be rude. It seems to be an inherent part of this profession or maybe life in general. I can't afford to waste time feeling sad for entire day and loose focus. How can I get back to work quickly and stop overthinking. Thanks
Speaking as an A0 who recently went through this, I was honestly in the same boat as you are. However, you need to realise that none of it is personal. Whatever anger/frustration that person is taking out on you - it’s of their own doing and the pressure that they might be under. If you’ve committed a mistake and are genuinely being reprimanded for it - fair enough, learn your lesson and ensure it doesn’t happen again. Again, it’s not personal, it’s only about your work product and the firm. You need to differentiate between who you are as a person and the work product that you’re delivering. All negative comments are directed towards the latter - nothing to you.
So even if the feedback is not personal, mentally you will want to talk to someone and get it out of your system.
I think you are trying to talk to friends (who are either working in law firms - so too busy) or you’re trying to talk to friends who haven’t done law firms and don’t know how bad it can get.
I would suggest - try to find someone who has past experience in working in a horrible firm, and now is probably in-house/ has some free time on their hand. The shared trauma will help you bond.
Our parents never needed therapists because they didn’t work in such high pressure jobs. We need it because we need people who can empathise with us.
talk it out with ANYONE outside the firm. Never gossip or be vulnerable in front of current firm colleagues - each one will fucking backstab to get ahead. I understand how you feel - it feels incredibly humiliating. You've got to pretend that you've taken the 'constructive criticism' and then pretend it never happened. If it keeps persisting, subtly move to work with another partner in the same practice area, else switch firms if you can't digest changing practice areas.
It is the unfortunate reality that the legal and medical professions give way to arguably the most number of immature people and sociopaths
I think I may have a solution.
So even if the feedback is not personal, mentally you will want to talk to someone and get it out of your system.
I think you are trying to talk to friends (who are either working in law firms - so too busy) or you’re trying to talk to friends who haven’t done law firms and don’t know how bad it can get.
I would suggest - try to find someone who has past experience in working in a horrible firm, and now is probably in-house/ has some free time on their hand. The shared trauma will help you bond.
Our parents never needed therapists because they didn’t work in such high pressure jobs. We need it because we need people who can empathise with us.
All the best!
Better LLM kar le
It is the unfortunate reality that the legal and medical professions give way to arguably the most number of immature people and sociopaths